What to Expect with EC + Young Toddlers: EC with a 12-17 month old

So today we're going to talk about what happens with EC in the young toddler phase. You can look at the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/192, where I will link to everything mentioned in today's episode.
Hey, there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Today we're going to talk about what happens during young toddler hood with EC. I know that when I went into months 12 through 17 with my first toddler, he was already out of diapers at nine months old, but I had so many things to address regarding EC during months 12 through 17. And he wasn't actually totally independent until 17 months. I went into it blindly. Today I'm going to just debunk all the myths and kind of give you a mindset of what to expect during this time, and then you'll know what's going on and what you can expect and how you can roll with these changes with EC.

So, in the last two episodes, we went over the Golden Window, zero to four month babies, and we went over Movers and Shakers five to 11 month babies. So just definitely check those out if you haven't listened to them, if that's where you are. If you're just fast forwarding ahead or you're in the young toddler stage right now, I do have a full on program at Go Diaper Free on this called Passing the Baton. And I have the Premium Course Pack, which is all to 10 of my courses that are also going to be linked at on the show notes. So I'll link to all of those so you can get those full programs. They are only about, this one in particular, Passing the Baton. It's only about young toddler hood because there are a lot of things going on. In fact, I have 12 things for you to expect during this period with EC, but first we're going to go over some developmental averages here that come off of my roadmap that is included in all of my big programs that shows you, this is literally a road that shows you when certain things happen. So you can look at it along with EC and resistant periods and things like that. And I just wish when I was a new mom for any of my five babies that I would've had a roadmap like that. It would've been a lifesaver.

So let's dive right in, first with developmental expectations during this age. First of all, the number one most resistant stage reported by the people I surveyed. I surveyed about a thousand people in my community, about 70% of people who had resistance had it at this stage of 12 to 13 months old. The second most resistant stage in EC was 11 to 12 months old. The other two were in mobile babyhood. So go back to that podcast if you want to see that one, but 12 to 13 months old, why is this the most resistant stage? Well, because a lot of babies are mastering walking at this time. And you think about it in an intact culture, tribal sort of situation, they would be able to walk right out that hut and go potty by themselves. They don't need you anymore. They're going to resist because they want privacy. They want independence, but we have clothing and potties to deal with. So we definitely have to roll with that resistance. My biggest suggestion is to stick with the Four Easy Catches to stop using diapers when your baby starts walking. It sounds counterintuitive, but that's really what they're wanting by being resistant. We get more into that in the Potty Pause Resolution MiniCourse, and also in the program itself.

The fourth stage of most resistance is actually 14 to 15 months. So we do have some in that age range. And I know that it's because they're still in diapers. You really want to stop using diapers when your child starts walking. They work on it, work on it, work on it, and then they're walking. So at that point, you want to stop using those diapers. And that's during the daytime. Usually, the sleep regressions, if they do happen, there's one at 12 months old. Usually. If it's going to happen, it'll be around then. And again, it's no coincidence that it's during a developmental milestone because that messes with a lot of things. Another thing that happens developmentally is walking around 12 months old. I got this information from Montessori From the Start. That's a wonderful book with a beautiful graphic of the developmental stages with motor skills.

Another thing I got from that book, the hands work together at 12 months. You'll start to see that they work together. Fussy weeks are just past 13 months and 15 months per the wonder, not the wonder years. Oh, I'm such a child of the eighties and nineties. The Wonder Weeks book and app will show you when fussy weeks typically are. Thirteen months and 15 months. Again, we've got developmental stuff going on. And within 15 months we've got language developing as well.

Daytime trainers, in the daytime, our backups are going to be trainers or undies at 12 months old. By 14 months old, I want you to be daytime in undies. And I don't want them to be trainers, especially if they pee in their trainers once a day or every time you put them on them. You're going to want to move to undies because your baby will synchronize with you and you guys will get on the same page faster. And they rise to the occasion. It is unbelievable. If you don't feel ready, they are. That's what we do with backups at that time during the awake times.

Peeing intervals are about 45 minutes, every 45 minutes at 15 months. About 45 to 60 minutes. So almost an hour at 17 months. Some kids will hold it for two or three hours by then. This is just kind of an average. Pooping daily at both at all this age range, if they're on solids. And if we're not having issues with constipation, which I do have a podcast episode on constipation and some solutions for that, if you're experiencing that, but usually a daily poop is normal. We do drop to one afternoon nap. Hurray. You can do more things in your day. Between 13 to 17 months is usually when that happens. Also, from the Montessori book, the hands start doing work. And the whole thing, the theme is help me do it myself between 15 to 16 months. And then I put in 15 to 17 months is about when kids really find an interest in practicing wiping, like actually getting some success with it. You might have had them practice wiping before just by blotting themselves with it while on the potty. But now we're getting a little more serious about it, and clothing manipulation. They will end up with their clothing off, or they'll have two shirts on or whatever during 15 to 17 months, that really happens a lot. So, that's all I want to say about developmental expectations. Again, this is on the roadmap in a really beautiful visual form in the Passing the Baton program for young toddlers, which you can see in the show notes for that. Here are the 12 things to expect to change about EC in months, 12 to 17.

Number one, the signals, again, disappear and or change. Again, why would your child need you? Why would they need to tell you they need to go? If they could just walk outside and go themselves. If you have the opportunity to do that, great. If your child's not signaling, it's just because wiring and all of human history, why do they even need us anymore? They don't, but we have carpets and we have underwear and we have potties and stuff. So we definitely want to teach them how to sign back. I do have a free class called Signals, Oh My!, that really goes in depth into signals, and what exactly is going on there.

Number two, we often get potty resistance as an indicator of, I need independence and I need privacy.

Number three, language expands. They start speaking with words or they're beginning to use sign language. And even if they don't, you can still stop using diapers while walking, even if your child's nonverbal or has developmental delays.

Number four, what to expect in months 12 to 17. Walking, if it hasn't already happened.

Number five more teethings. So we want to address the pain if any of the teething. Comfort them in that way first. And then we will see EC improve.

Number six, we have the beginning of smaller tantrums and asserting one's own will. My third son Branson or fourth. He started tantrums at 16 months and he frankly, hasn't stopped and he's at five years old. So we definitely have that assertion of one's own will, which is really developmentally appropriate and great, but it also shows you, yeah it's time to be wrapped up for sure.

Number seven, it's even more important to set up the environment and to enable independence and to teach, teach, teach. So during this time, we call it passing the Baton because there's so many things that we can teach them so that they have that need number two, taken care of, they're not going to have to be resistance, because they know all the parts of the process and they've been practicing and you've been teaching some things during non potty times. So it's really important to set up the environment for success during this time. So you're going to be expected. I expect you to set up that potty station in a way that has little things that they have all in their direct environment so that they can do the whole routine themselves because that is what Montessori teaches. And I strongly follow that. That you need to have this in place to enable independence. And you're going to have to step up to that as a parent during this period.

Another thing to expect is number eight, I mentioned this, is that naps reduce from two to one per day. So we're going to have a lot more awake time, but we're also going to have a lot bigger intervals between pees.

Number nine. Long-term repetitive memory capabilities develop during months 12 through 18 per baby center, which basically means you can and should, wrap it up during this period. So if you're starting EC during this period, which about 15% of you are, you're not late to the game. This is actually great. You get to start and finish in the same period and usually within the same month, which is awesome. Now my book, if you don't have it, Go Diaper Free, comes with an optional download called the hybrid plan, which I definitely would recommend for this age range as well.

Number 10, babies can begin to prefer the diaper as a convenience. So news flash, your baby might become lazy and use that diaper as a convenience. When you notice that's happening, it is time to stop using those diapers period, or you're going to have a really hard time, especially if they start to relax into it around 16, 17 months, you might end up having to do a potty training experience, which is fine. But if we can avoid that, we want to stop using diapers before they start using them on purpose.

Number 11, we typically have a daycare or a preschool to team up with and I do have a MiniCourse on that. Diaper free at Daycare. It's really good and thorough. And it comes with handouts to give the teacher and how to navigate all of this. But in the Passing the Baton program, we cover that a lot. I also have a weekly zoom group you guys, where you can interact with other ECers all over the world, it's called the Potty Tribe, godiaperfree.com/tribe. It's just 10 bucks a month and we have a weekly group there. So if you're having difficulty with daycare or preschool, it's often helpful to talk it through with a live person. So join us there if you have more issues with that. But also, the book comes with all of this support as well, but if you need to talk to somebody just like, “Hey, can you help me hash out a plan?” Me and my coaches would love to do that with you.

Back to number 12. So the things to expect in this age range, especially if you're a mobile baby and you're like, “Okay, what's going to happen next? What should I do?” You can expect by 17 months that most babies are signaling again, or they're showing clearer signs. We aren't wiping ourselves just yet, but maybe we're trying to do so, and we're facilitating them doing it themselves, but really two, three years old, it might take that long for kids to actually effectively wipe themselves. We're maybe coming up dry at night or during naps.

Twila started coming up dry at 17 months and we just stopped using diapers at night. All my other ones were around 26 months. And then all of the hundreds of thousands of parents I've helped. It totally varies, but if they start coming up dry at night, you can insert a dream pee, and I'll link to the podcast on dream pees for you there, it's also in the book, but you can insert a dream pee just to help support them being dry at night and stop using diapers if this happens to you.

And they're also trying to take off or put on their own clothing, which I also mentioned, which is a great opportunity. Maybe get some of those learn undies that I sell at tinyundies.com. They have to bear on the front of them, it's upside down. So those actually teach self dressing and help reduce frustration in that. Overall in this period, it's an amazing time. Montessori called this sensitive period for toilet learning. This is the developmental task for this age range. So if you are in this age range or you're expecting to be soon, hooray, let's celebrate that. Once they have this under their belt, they are opened up for so much more learning and this really unblocks them to be able to thrive in this world. By having that in the bag.

That's all I have to say about that. In the show notes, I'm going to link to that course. I'm also going to link to the Premium Course Pack, which is all 10 courses. So if you want all seven mini courses, which are the biggest trouble that people run into, and you want all three of the developmental ages, you do get lifetime access. You can use it for future babies, but it includes Passing the Baton course and program as well, which is just what I asked people, what they wanted to know during this age range, combined with everything I already know about it. And a lot of troubleshooting that is specific to the young toddler. Very different from a mobile baby or newborn baby. That's all I have to say about that. I hope you enjoyed it.

So again, you can go over to the show notes at godiaperfree.com/192. And I have a couple questions for you there. Leave comments. We can mingle. I will help you if you need help. And until next time, have a good one.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.