Just START: How to get out of your own way and start EC, already!

Recently I got on the phone with around 40 parents who follow Go Diaper Free on Instagram or Facebook and asked them a billion questions.

I was surprised at how many people had been following me, downloading my free guides, even purchasing my books and potties...but hadn’t even begun EC yet.

If you’re sitting on all this information but haven’t gotten up the gusto to start elimination communication with your baby, and you maybe don’t even know what’s stopping you, this episode is for you!

By the end of it, I hope you will feel empowered to JUST START.

Let’s start by discussing what could be stopping you from starting EC with your baby. (Because if we don’t know what we’re dealing with, we can not overcome it!)

Different stumbling blocks to starting elimination communication with your baby

Information Overload

If you’re like my mother, you will read up on something and gather all the gear until you can’t read up or gather any longer...and the sheer mass of information you’ve learned will have frozen you in your tracks.

Stop learning about it. Stop dreaming about it. Stop everything and put this down and take that diaper off. Take your baby at the very next wake-up. You have enough knowledge - stop ingesting information and collecting inspiration and START TAKING ACTION.

(Then come back and geek out some more once you actually get your feet wet.)

The Desire for Perfection

A lot of the parents I interviewed, especially the mamas, said that they were so worried about effing it up that they haven’t started EC yet for fear of failure. The thing is, you can’t be perfect at EC...it’s not built that way. It is a learning process, and most of our learning, unfortunately, happens through trip-ups and missteps.

Guess what? If your baby misses (ie: has an accident), you LEARN! If you misguess, you LEARN! It is ALL learning. EC is a longer game than potty training, so trying to be perfect at it is a recipe for disaster...esp if that desire for “don’t try it unless you can be perfect” keeps you from ever even beginning EC. Sounds crazy, but a lot of us have this exact block creeping around in our subconscious minds.

Safety on the Sidelines (hello: reality TV! hello: social media!)

I’ll use my mom as an example again (don’t worry, she owns this). She lives vicariously through other people (and constantly calls me to tell me how such-and-such is doing, even though she’s never met the person...er...bachelorette). It is sooo much easier to cheer from the sidelines, and coach or critique from the sidelines, than to be IN THE GAME.

Social media allows us to be voyeurs and never leave our safety zones. So does reality TV. I remember when reality TV became a thing in the 90s...MTV, anyone?...and people became so vicariously fed through others’ drama, mishaps, loves, and follies. It was crazy, and still is. Instagram influencers have us all worried about the fact that our own homes aren’t bathed in natural light with white and tan furniture that our babies NEVER mess up...and that they’ve clearly had a shower and we haven’t in days...when this simply isn’t the case in real life.

So, back to elimination communication - watching from the sidelines is safe - it is reality TV. Getting in the game is harder and less predictable - it is, however, real life...which is way more rewarding.

This Baby is So Fragile! (And small! How do I handle a newborn?)

Geez I feel like what I’m about to share is so controversial that it deserves a disclaimer: I am not responsible for how you handle your baby. Do so with care, calm, gently, and with respect to baby and his/her safety. Thank you.

Now, I will tell you a quick story. I was in Ghana, West Africa, in a remote village, back in 2000. I was 19 years old. Brand new newborns were strapped snugly to mamas’ backs with a 3 yard piece of fabric - the moms danced so briskly and energetically that the babies’ heads were bobbing all over the place (and I felt very worried about them!). These same mamas’ babies and toddlers were also very mobile very early, very happy, and healthy as a whip. I came away from that experience feeling that maybe newborns aren’t as fragile as we think.

(You can probably criticize my unscientific findings...that is fine. With my own babies I was taught early on to not be afraid to “handle” them, and for me it’s worked out just fine...they were all mobile early, healthy as whips, and very well-cared for.)

Even if you don’t buy my story, no worries. Most every baby over 99.99999% of human history was pottied from babyhood, didn’t soil the den or cave or hut, and didn’t wear a diaper as a toilet. Babies over human history have been pottied from birth...yours can be, too.

But more importantly - be courageous. I’m encouraging you to be courageous. Hold your baby gently*, securely, and take a deep breath...relax...make the sound of shushing water or grunting, bearing down...and know that billions have gone before you.

Once you try it, you’ll probably chuckle at how natural it felt to give your baby this wonderful bit of dignity and respect. Respectful Parenting...welcome to it.

*This is a picture of how to hold your newborn gently and securely - loosely hold their thighs without holding them open, but moreso supporting their weight, and lean their back and wobbly little head against the front of your torso. This is the Classic EC position - point and shoot. You can even cradle them in the nook of your elbow and then hold the thighs and aim - the Cradled Classic position, below that.