Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about helping you potty your baby as early as birth with elimination communication. I'm your host, Andrea Olson, author and mom of five adorable ECed babies. This is Episode, "Easy catch number one."
So we're going to talk today about the wake-up and pee, usually, people really want an easy way to start EC and have asked me so many times, "Andrea, what could I start with? I feel a little bit overwhelmed, there's just a little bit too much to EC, it feels really foreign, how can I start and feel success right away?", and I tell them, "Well, you can do one of four easy catches."
So today in this episode we're going to talk about easy catch number one, the wake-up and pee. So first of all something to note about biology, the antidiuretic hormone is a hormone that causes us to not soil or wet ourselves during sleep, it is also the hormone that we lose a lot of during pregnancy which causes us to have to wake up and pee all night long, every night, it's also the hormone that keeps us from dehydrating during sleep, it's pretty fantastic.
So although I couldn't find a lot of research, no studies associating ADH with bedwetting and things like that, what I did deduce from the research I have done is that the antidiuretic hormone is awesome because it's reliable, so what I've discovered is that babies and adult humans all have this hormone and everybody, when you wake up the hormone wears off, the bladder fills and you need to pee. So adults listening to this podcast, how many of you, raise your hand unless you're driving, raise your hand if you have to pee when you wake up, within a few minutes. Usually, we all do and if you've ever known a two or three-year-old, usually when they wake up they do a little dance, a lot of dance, and then they finally go to the bathroom or ask you.
Actually not a two or three year old, I probably would say a four or a five-year-old, because two or three-year-olds in America right now are still usually in diapers. So yeah we all have ADH, it always wears off when we wake up, and sometimes some of us sleep really lightly and we have to wake up fully to pee more often during the night so we have sleep issues, some of us. If you have insomnia usually when you wake up in the middle of the night you have to go, so we can rely on this as part of this easy catch number one when your child wakes up, when they first start to shift, especially with a newborn you see them grunting and rolling around or trying to roll around and really uncomfortable as they're waking up.
That's because they're starting to feel pressure in their bladder and they need to go to the bathroom, relieve themselves when they wake up. So what I would do if you have a newborn, is to try it out today when baby wakes up from a nap or wakes up from night sleep, offer them the potty by holding them into the EC classic hold, you can see a picture of this on my easy start guide which is free at godiaperfree.com/start and you can download that one-pager and you can see really clearly what the EC classic hold looks like. Just hold them in position, over a bowl, if you have a top hat potty which is a newborn toilet, which I sell at tinyundies.com because you can't really find them anywhere use that, or you can use the sink, or you can use the big toilet, whatever your pleasure.
So when they wake up, say the cue word, which is PSSST and you can also run the water to help them relax, some people blow on their babies head gently just to relax them, some people take a deep breath and relax themselves, and you're going to signal them, cue them to go to the bathroom after they wake up. If you have a mobile baby, when they wake up set them on the mini potty or hold them in arms over the toilet or set them on a toilet seat reducer if they're able to sit up unassisted and offer them to pee at that time. If you open up their diaper and you that it's wet, even if it's very, very wet I would suggest you offer it anyway because often time there's more and oftentimes they have woken up maybe about an hour before or 15 minutes before and you've just missed it because you didn't realize that they were up yet, that's totally fine.
So what we want to do when we offer is to not make a big fuss about it, and just to keep baby really comfortable and hold them and walk around a little bit and then put them on the toilet. I usually will take the diaper off immediately because I've used it as a backup overnight and I will hold my child and then gently place them on the toilet or hold them over it and signal to go. So with a 12 to 18-month-old, they're going to be able to walk over to the potty and you say, "All right, well before we go downstairs we're going to go pee pee real quick.", and you have a mini potty in the room or you take them to the toilet that's nearest to them, it doesn't really matter where just try to be consistent and offer them the potty at the wake-up.
Now, what if they don't go, "Well Andrea I tried this, they're always wet, they don't go.", we're still going to establish a routine, so wake up and pee is an easy catch but it's also a routine maker, so it'll be a really good thing to set a precedence of, every morning I'm going to have an opportunity to go to the bathroom, and eventually when things start to sort of be pieced together, especially if you're starting between 12 and 18 months or later, you are going to be establishing a routine, an expectation and an opportunity to pee. Which is great you know, EC is totally non-coercive, we don't have to force anything, that's not what it's about but we do want to take advantage of biology and the antidiuretic hormone and when a child wakes up from a nap or nighttime, we want to offer the potty, pretty simple right?
And the question also warrants answering right here is, do we have them nurse or feed/eat first, or pee first? And I just want to ask you to make a decision based on what your values are and what you believe as far as hygiene goes. So if you believe that your child just has to nurse and absolutely cannot wait because they may be a brand new newborn or whatever, then you want to have them nurse first or eat first, that's totally fine. What I have found though is that babies are very patient, and when you allow them the chance to empty their bladder and also go number two, if they have a morning poop rhythm which a lot of babies and children do, we allow them to go to the bathroom they're going to be able to get a fuller, more nourishing feed without popping off the breast, which is a sign that they need to go.
I mean, have you ever tried to pee or poop while eating? It's pretty darn hard I could imagine, so I typically will offer a pottytunity first, an opportunity to go to the bathroom first, and then offer the breast of the bottle or whatever you're feeding your child at the age that they're at second. Also, it helps to set a precedence especially with a brand new newborn of, we're going to take care of hygiene, and then we're going to offer nourishment, and then we're going to offer comfort. If you can't swing it, no big deal, no judgment on my part don't judge yourself, what you can do is also nurse the child or feed the child over a top hat potty or a mixing bowl or whatever, or a pad so that you can notice that they're going while you're nursing or feeding and you can sound associate along with them as they go by saying PSSST if they're peeing or coughing if they're pooping.
So even though they go all the time in the beginning and it's really hard, you might feel frustrated because they're going while they eat, when they pop off the breast you can offer it at that time, you can do a lot of things with breastfeeding and EC at the same time, a lot of this is covered in my book in more detail but that's just a little brief synopsis about easy catch number one, wake up and pee. Try it today and you will be hooked, and then go down to godiaperfree.com/start, get my easy start guide so you can familiarize yourself with common signals, common times that babies need to go and what does this position that I'm holding her in even look like.
Hopefully, that'll be helpful for you, so I also will be covering the next three easy catches over the next three episodes, so stay tuned for number 29, 30, and 31 where we'll go over number two, number three, and number four. Until next time, I'm Andrea Olson with Go Diaper Free, if you have any questions at all you can email me at andrea@godiaperfree.com, or leave a comment over on the show notes, where I will list out where to get that easy start guide, the show notes can be found at godiaperfree.com/28, as in episode 28 and I invite you to comment over there, ask me any questions, I love to get questions. If you want to see the video version of this particular topic, you can also check out my channel on YouTube, just look up Go Diaper Free and you'll find me there, and all four easy catches are in video format there as well.
So thank you so much for joining me today, again I'm Andrea and this is the Go Diaper Free podcast, at godiaperfree.com, I will talk to you next week.
DS, 5 months, cries if I put him on a potty before the breast. But then he’ll pee while he nurses.
I wish we had started at birth instead of 4 months!
It’s GREAT that you started at 4 months, Vanessa! If you have any more babies, you’ll definitely get to start at birth, but you’re here now and that is awesome. You can always nurse him over a waterproof pad or have a top hat potty handy – https://tinyundies.com/tophat – and my book goes over a ton of options for pottying during nursing – https://godiaperfree.com/thebook – in case you don’t have that yet. Bottom line: this will pass, soon, so hang in there!
xx Andrea
I just started EC with my DD when she was between 6-7 months old. I thought I would never catch this “easy catch”. When she would wake up she typically had already gone in the diaper but I would offer a pottytunity anyways. It’s been one month and she’s starting to hold it and peeing once I get her to the potty (or as the diaper is coming off ?). Stick with it, we’re all learning! Thanks Andrea!
Awesome, Alexis! Thanks for sharing. This is proof of what I always say – offer, be consistent, and eventually you and baby will align. Beautiful. xx Andrea
I’ve always tried to do wake up and pee with my now 2.5 year old son, my challenge is sometimes in the morning he has an erection and I think that’s one of the reasons he resists at that time. I don’t want to push him to do something uncomfortable if that is the case but the morning pee is obviously one of the keys to getting out of nighttime diapers. Has anyone else had this challenge, any thoughts?
Hey Sarah! That is actually a “sign” that he needs to pee! Baby boys will often get an erection right before they need to go. I have an assumption about this: perhaps Mother Nature’s way of helping him pee far, far away from his body? To help him aim by providing him with a temporarily larger hose (for lack of a more PC way of saying it!!)? Have him go. The erection is a sure-fire sign. And I would recommend one of those baby urinals that hang from the wall. That would probably make everything easier – and more fun! xx Andrea
this is really helpful! Usually I miss the wake up pee because my 3 month old has woken up without me realizing it. She’s just so chill and happy in the morning! But I’ll definitely start offering the potty at wake up more faithfully because she’s certainly caught onto the potty routine at other times of the day just in the one month that we’ve been doing it. Thanks!
Awesome, Gloria! Let us know how it goes. But from Alexis’ comment, above, I’m sure you’ll see that you guys align on this one, too. xx Andrea
We started EC with our 9 month old and have been doing it part-time about 3 weeks. I had a really amazing week in which I caught every morning pee and poop. The next week was just a bit haphazard where I just kept being busy when she wasn’t going and missed it, and I was so discouraged! This week has been better so far. Last night I even took my daughter to the potty every time she woke up in the night and cried, and she fell back asleep pretty quick. If I hadn’t missed her first morning pee this morning (I though she would go back to sleep as it was 5am…), she would have had a dry diaper this morning! WHAT, I would never have thought that possible as I have had to really work on a good overnight cloth diaper for her, and g diapers didn’t seem that comfortable and I feel conflicted about disposables. Usually in the morning she pees about 3 times in 45 minutes. 1-2 min. after she wakes up, 20 min. after she wakes up, and after she nurses or eats food. We have both a little potty and a potty toilet seat. Thank you for the encouragement and insights, Andrea! #1 gave me the confidence to keep going with EC.
Kari!!! I am so happy to read this. Thank you for sharing, and for sticking with it. Yeah…dry all night does happen some nights, and some nights it doesn’t but it’s not your fault (or hers)…it’s just the non-linear learning curve that is inherent with EC. Stick with it! If you don’t have my book, def pick up a copy. It will prepare you for everything without overwhelming you. If you do have it, you’ll probably already know that peeing 3 times in 45 minutes in the morning is totally normal. You gals are doing great! xx Andrea
We have been doing EC part time, mostly on waking (and offering on diaper change), for a couple of months (he’s 4.5 months now). Most of the time, our son will pee! It’s great. We’re just working to teach him that there is another place to go other than his diaper.
I have your book and it’s great but I’m still unclear about one thing. My question is about the cue, “psssss.” Do I do it the whole time he’s peeing? Or just as he starts and to get him to start peeing and then stop and let him pee? (same question for his BM’s and the grunt cue)
Thank you! xx
Hi Maria! You do not have to cue the entire time he is going potty. Once he is going and you have acknowledged it, you can move on to singing or just talking with him.
We are just starting with EC and I am holding our little girl above the toilet every time she wakes up but I didn’t had a catch yet. I am doing it since yesterday so I’m not worried yet, but I never know when I hold her long enough above the toilet. So how long do I have to hold over the toilet? And if she pees or poops, do I have to wait a little longer for the other one?
Thank you! xxx Johanna
Hi Johanna,
Glad you have started to EC your little one! Are you cueing when you put your little one over the toilet?
If she is younger, you can also try ECing her over the sink, sometimes a little switch like that will make all the difference.
If she peeing right after you take her out of the EC hold, then make sure you are relaxed when you are holding, so that way she can relax as well. If she isn’t going right after you take her out of the EC hold she might not need to go just yet.
The best way to catch the morning pee is to take them right when they are stirring awake.
Hope that helps!
Xx Andrea
My son is 7.5 months old and we’ve been ECing since about 6 months.
We had it down Pat where he would pee either before every nap, or skip the before, wake up with a dry diaper and pee right after waking up in his potty.
I tried adding more potty times and it’s like we’ve lost all progress. We’ve slowly gotten the nap times back, but it’s super hit or miss.
I don’t know if I should keep going with the extra potty opportunities (he’ll use the potty up to 10 times in a day, or sometimes barely 4), or if I should do a total hard reset and go back to strictly before and after naps.
I have a trickling stream sound playing now when he pees (started that today). I used to do the psssss sound and he would pee on command/immediately after he sat down), but I guess I assumed he understood to do it whether I made the sound or not and stopped.
I know these set backs are on me and my 1) lack of knowledge and 2) on and off approach with the sound, but I’d really like to get back on track. I’m just clueless! And the Oh Crap! Potty training book is written specifically for kids who can walk and talk. Which is obviously not my 7 month old.
I recommend getting my Go Diaper Free book for 0-18 months, there is tons of information there that can help you in greater detail. Perhaps try incorporating just a few more potty opportunities for example one at a time, for example, upon waking for the day, before bath time, and before bed, along side catching your nap time pee. You can also try using a sign for him to use to be able to let you know when he has to go. As he goes, be sure he can see and easily replicate the sign while you say something along the lines of, “Potty, you go potty.” You can even use the sign for All Done, once he’s finished coupled with verbally saying All Done so he can begin to tell you when he’s finished as well. You are doing great momma! Hope this helps!
We’ve been catching poops for a while, but just started the first thing in the morning pee with our 16 month old this week – sippy cup of milk since he’s so ravenous in the mornings + seat reducer on big toilet, and 3 successful mornings in a row!
Yay!!! Its great to know what works best for your baby, bring on that sippy cup mama!