How do you potty train a baby?: How I answered a group of 3rd graders at my son’s school career day.

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about helping you stop depending on diapers as early as birth. I'm your host, Andrea Olson, author and mom of five EC’d babies. This is episode 44, How do you potty train a baby?

Okay, you guys, I went to a career fair a few weeks ago, an elementary school. I talked to third graders about how do you potty train a baby, because their teacher decided... So I went and presented as I am an author and online entrepreneur, and what could that career path look like? Super fun. The teachers had given this whole grade this scavenger hunt list of questions that they had to ask to increase engagement with the presenters, so obviously they asked. The first one asked me, and I was like, "How did you know to ask me that?"

But they all started asking me, "How do you potty train a baby?" Because this teacher thought it would be great to stimulate conversation. Boy, was it ever. So that gave me the idea for today's podcast. I really wanted to share with you my super simplified distilled answer to that question, because for a third grader's mind, I had to really... I didn't have to dumb it down, because obviously, they're super smart, but I had to say it in a way that they could understand. I had to say it about 60 times in a row, so I got really good at it.

So I wanted to share with you what I shared with them, and hopefully it will help you to understand and wrap your head around what this whole EC thing is, what is elimination communication in real life.

The show notes for this particular episode are at godiaperfree.com/44. So anything that I mention in this episode will be over there on the show notes, as well as a great conversation afterwards.

Also, stick around, because I've got a couple of tips from my readers at the very end of these next few podcasts. I'm going to start featuring tips that they want you to know, to encourage you to start EC as well.

Okay, so, “How do you potty train a baby, Andrea? What do you do?” And I'm talking to third graders here. "All right, let me ask you guys a question. When you wake up, do you need to go pee? do you need to go potty?" All of them went, "Hahaha. Yes, I do." I said, "All right, well, when a baby wakes up, they have the same need. You can either have them go pee pee in their diaper, or you can have them go pee pee in a potty. So the first big step in potty training a baby is just getting them used to going in which one you want them to go in.

“So if you want to teach your baby to go in the potty all the time their whole life, then you teach them that. When they wake up, you take them and put them on the potty. If you want your baby to go in the diaper for many, many years, then you teach your baby to go in the diaper. Did you know that babies actually have really strong instincts? They do not want to pee or poop on themselves. How many of you like pooping on yourself?" And they all chuckled, of course.

"Right, exactly. So human beings don't like to poop on themselves, and babies are no different. So think about that. Also, do any of you have younger siblings," I asked. And they said, "Well, yes. I have a baby, I have a baby. I have a one-year-old." "Have you ever had to change their diaper?" "Oh yeah, it's so gross."

"Well, when we do potty training with a baby," which I didn't tell them EC isn’t actually potty training, it's actually a natural process where you're learning with each other. But, I played along, because this is the term that they knew. "Potty train a baby, you don't have to deal with as many poopy diapers. How many of you are going to have kids when you grow up?" And a lot of them raised their hands. Some of them went, "Ew, no way, they're too gross," or, "I don't want to give birth because it sounds like it hurts." Which, believe me, I had a lot to say about that one.

We really want to educate our kids on the option, I said, "Well, if you grow up and have babies, just remember this and look me up, because I will still be teaching this stuff, you guys. You can train your child into a diaper or into a potty, and the same goes with poop. So if you don't like poopy diapers of your siblings, then when you're older and you have a baby, you can have them poop in the toilet. It just makes sense, doesn't it?" And all of them went, "Yeah, yeah." Then they went on to the next table.

So that's the nutshell version of how I explained how do you potty train a baby, I just talked about two things. For those of you adults who are following me, you will know that I talk a lot about the four easy catches. There are a couple of ways to start EC.

With a newborn, you just start with the wakeups, because they're sleeping all the time. That's covered in my Baby Meets Potty MiniCourse. Just start with the wakeups with a newborn.

With any other age baby, you can start easing in with the four easy catches. Those are podcast episodes 28, 29, 30, and 32. 28, 29, 30, 32, so definitely listen to those if you haven't already. You can ease into EC with those.

You can also learn the real ropes and the big picture, and then all this stuff that might happen in the future, with my book, Go Diaper Free. We include sound association, observation, starting, maintaining, and completing EC, and all that stuff. These are other ways to “potty train a baby.”

There are different ways to start, but the other thing that I would mention - if somebody stuck around long enough - to these third graders was, "Does your mom ever wear your baby sister, or whatever, in a carrier, or have you ever seen anybody wear a carrier?" I'd show them mine. "Well, your baby won't want to pee, so they're going to try to jump off, jump out of the carrier - and they can't, and they're trapped - to tell you. So they tell you by signaling that they need to go to the bathroom too."

Also, I would say to some of them, "You know sometimes when your baby cries, and you don't know why they're crying, or you're around a baby and you're just like, ‘Gosh, what's wrong with them?’ Then they realize that they have a poopy diaper? Well, usually they're signaling to tell you to get the diaper off so they can do it in a place that feels good to them."

So all of these kids really understood that, but they really understood, "Yeah, when I wake up, I need to pee. Yeah, I don't like to poop on myself either." Then, I also ask them, "Have you ever seen a poop face for a baby? Have you ever seen a baby ..." and then we all made the face together where it looks like they're smiling, but they're not, they're actually pooping. “You can tell your baby to wait, and you can take your baby over to the potty and show them this.”

Then, we get a little deeper with some of the kids. "How do you potty train a baby, and why would you want to? Well, we have a serious issue with our environment and our landfills, you guys. I mean, it's ridiculous. This is the third largest consumer waste product in the landfills, and none of these diapers full of human pee and poop, and God knows what disease, and gels, and chemicals, have ever biodegraded ever. It's estimated that it will take over 500 years for each of them to biodegrade, and we throw away 27 billion of them a year. Billion. In the United States only. And, all of these chemicals could some day off gas, and kill us all. And, our landfills are filling up, and where in the heck are we going to put all these diapers?"

A lot of these children in this career fair, I'm talking about how do you potty train a baby, because that's what their teacher asked them to ask me. We got into an in depth conversation about the environment. You know how our kids are these days, you guys. They all care so much. Then, when we get older and busier, we forget about that. But, all of our kids are so fresh and they're like, "Yeah, I don't really want that in my world, and I want a world when I grow up, and I want it to be a healthy planet." So there's even more impetus.

Everyone who ever tells you that it will damage your child to potty train them early or to do EC is wrong. I have a blog post on that. Check the show notes, godiaperfree.com/44, and I will link to that blog post as well. This is scientifically proven that it will not harm your children, your babies.

So then we get back to this question of how. How do you do it? And really, you guys just have to zoom out. Babies are not dumb, they're not born incontinent, and they are born with really strong communication. That just happens to be something that you have to sit and learn and decode, and relate with, and communicate, and converse with them. Not with a lot of words, but more just through the day to day.

Get to know your baby. Understand their needs are no different than yours. They just need your help. Through these first few months, first 12 months or so, until they can walk, and then you teach them to use the toilet by themselves, and then they're done, you guys, without having to potty train. So ironically, the answer to how do you potty train a baby has nothing to do with potty training, and everything to do with elimination communication.

All right, now, let's hear a tip from one of my readers. Let's see which one we want to do today. Oh yeah, okay. This is from Shirrell G. "My tip. I learned this from your book, but it helps to remember that infant poops come in waves. I let my baby rest and reposition for 30 seconds to a few minutes, to put her back in a position for more poop. This can happen three or four times before she's actually finished pooping. You just can't rush EC. Patience is key, but that also doesn't mean leaving them in the EC position, or on the potty for 20 minutes at a time hoping they will go." So that's Shirrell's tip.

It's important to remember that infant poop comes in waves. So while we're talking about how do you potty train a baby, how do you do EC? Oh yeah, well, let's look for when they're pooping. But, we also have to know a little bit more. So if you're kind of clueless about baby poop and pee, let me tell you, everything is in my book. If you don't have it, grab it. If you do have it, go back over those sections again.

If you're totally overwhelmed by this whole thing, just check out those four easy catches and ease your way into EC if this sounds like something you want to do, because, let me tell you, all those third graders who are going to have babies some day, are definitely going to be doing EC with them. I'm super excited about that.

Okay. Now, let's talk about where you can find all of this info, godiaperfree.com/44. I want to ask you a question over there, so go to that post on my blog through that link. I'm going to ask you, "Do you have any tips on how to start EC with a baby, or do you have any questions about this topic of potty training a baby, or any comments at all." I answer all of those over there on the website. So that's it for today's episode.

This has been the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm your host Andrea Olson. It has been a pleasure sharing with you today what I shared with the third graders, and I hope to see you next time. Take care.