The laws of natural development: Part 1 of our Montessori-inspired EC series

EPISODE 069: Natural Development

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast where we're all about helping you potty your baby as early as birth. I'm your host, Andrea Olson, author and mom of five EC’d babies. This is episode 69, Montessori-inspired EC and the natural laws of development.

Hello everybody. Thank you so much for being back with me this week after last week's rant, which I hope you enjoyed. In this today, we're going to talk about what happens during fetal formation to prepare our babies for what we end up doing when they're born with their waste. This, and the next three episodes, is all inspired by Merry L. Hadden's article, “Toilet Training Versus Toilet Learning.” She is a Montessori educator. We're going to spend a few weeks learning from her and her report. You can check that out over at godiaperfree.com/69, if you're curious to see it all. We'll also link to anything mentioned in today's podcast over on that webpage. 

This four-part series starts today with the natural laws of development. So first of all, in Montessori, and from the Montessori perspective, which if you don't know this about me, I am not full-blown 100% Montessori anything. It's part of my parenting tool set, and I definitely feel like Montessori in my home has helped my kids to be able to play independently, to feel a lot of self-esteem and security, and to really learn and develop in a nice developmentally-appropriate pace. I love Montessori stuff. I'll link to a book that I used to start Montessori in my own home in the show notes, as well.

So, this is from Merry's article. "Montessori perspective is that we do not teach. We observe what it is our babies need to accomplish. We analyze the best way to offer assistance and then we offer assistance with the purpose of aiding life, and we aid their life through indirect and direct participation." I think that's a beautifully-put thing. EC is based on natural laws of development. We can study anatomy and body functions and then match up the infant's cues to assist their development. 

In Montessori, they really see the parent as an assistant to the child who is on this from conception ... So, basically, Montessori says it's from knowledge and faith that from conception the child is in a process of self construction based on natural laws, and that really makes sense to me, having gone through raising five babies, currently raising the last of those. There is definitely a pattern of self construction. In this book that I'll link to as well, there's a nice little timeline that shows the order of events for every baby that they go through in this construction of the self. 

Merry goes on to describe that in pregnancy the fetus prepares, and I won't get too scientific here, but basically the digestion and excretory, which is pee and poop functions, are in place by the time your amazing baby is born. These functions, like muscle control of the neck and torso, they develop from there into their mature form. So, we start off with a baby who's pretty limp, kind of flacid, just kind of roly poly, and this muscle control develops, and this process of self construction, and also the digestion and excretory functions develop into their full mature form during the next 12 or so months. It is all perfectly planned and so amazing. 

What happens when the baby is born? Well, well-intentioned parenting takes over, and in my last rant we've definitely been culturally molded to be a certain way once our baby is born. But biology wise the natural course of events have prepared the baby for something a little bit more in line with what they've already gone through. So, in Carrie's report, she notes that maternal behavior is not only influenced by the surrounding culture but also by learned behavior. She quotes from Dr. Thomas Verny, “civilization wipes out the correct impulse and attitude towards a child.” So, in cultures where parenting behaviors follow trends it's important to help parents understand developmental laws that function universally so we can assist children in their process of self construction. 

In today's episode, we're going to briefly learn about this process and how we can support it, and in the next three, we're going to get into some nuts and bolts of what you can actually do. So, in Merry's article she talks about the alimentary canal. Without getting too scientific this is just a tube. It's the tubular passage between the mouth and the anus that everybody has. It works automatically and it is developed in utero. We don't have to think about it, just like breathing. We don't have to think about our heart beating. This passage automatically works. Coordination of the body occurs from birth to 12 months. 

Montessori educators bring this up all the time, myelinization, or installation of the axons, the neural connections in our body, connects the brain to the voluntary muscles, and it is complete when the child is standing. So, they basically see it as this as this long developmental scientific process where all of these neural connections finally complete with the culmination of the child standing upright. This means that full bodily control is gained by around 12 months, including full voluntary sphincter control. So, sphincter control does start at birth and it develops and then a full conscious connection, they say, is finished at 12 months and I would have to agree. 

Coincidentally, this is when Montessori schools, the younger kid schools like preschool, put babies into cotton pants, at 12 months. This is also when our grandparents stopped using diapers. I agree with this timeframe. The baby can now walk and we can wrap up EC if we're doing that by supporting through proper environment set up, a really good routine, consistent offerings, learning the baby's unique timing and unique signals, and teaching certain parts like mounting the potty, clothing manipulation, signs or words to use to signal to us, et cetera. 

So if we are just beginning EC or early potty training at 12 months, or when they start to walk, we would do the same, support with the proper environment, a good routine, put them in cotton pants. We want to teach them certain parts of the process, and learn our babies, and offer consistently. It's the same kind of timeline. So, again, she said we want to observe the child and what she needs to accomplish, figure out the best way to offer the necessary assistance, and give that assistance through indirect and direct preparation, with the purpose of aiding life. I love that. 

So, since the fetus has developed all it needs to function by the time it is born, and then the muscular system develops from there along with cognition, and perception, and communication, it makes sense to assist in their growing awareness and development of this control starting at birth with the first meconium poop. So, what indirect and direct preparations will baby need at birth? Well, we're going to talk about these preparations from Merry's report in next week's podcast episode. For now, I would like to personally marvel at the amazing natural development that babies go through starting at conception, and collectively let's realize that supporting this natural development from birth is our role as parents to aid the life of our babies. We need to bend our minds past the myths and the cultural trends that she mentions and back to nature. How were we perfectly created, and why would we interfere with the natural laws of development by encouraging our babies to be ignorant of their instincts and their developmental needs? 

I'll leave you with this quote from Maria Montessori. "It is at the early age of one month that the child begins to need calls and invitations from the outer world. Repetitions are needed to awaken his interest, to create a cycle of acquaintanceship, so they start to need calls and invitations from the outer world to learn." So, these calls and invitations differ across cultures. In our diapering culture we give no calls and invitations. We only give one choice, ignore your instincts and use this diaper as your toilet because we don't know any better. Carrie says, "We must give the child the proper information from the beginning. Then it is only a matter of how and where to offer appropriate experiences." 

So, next week we'll cover this proper information that we parents are called to give our babies from the beginning within the construct of elimination communication, and after that we'll cover what Merry calls remedial toilet learning at two years old and up in a separate episode, and then we will talk about how to prepare the environment at home and in an infant community, or daycare, in a later episode. I hope you'll join me for the other three parts of this four-part series. Till then go to godiaperfree.com/69 to see Merry's report. Also, if you're ready to get my easy start guide, or my book today, you can find all of that on the show notes as well. Leave a comment if you have any questions or any comments, or maybe this gave you an aha moment today, over there on the blog post. I'm going to leave you with two tips from our readers. 

Ana in Croatia with 3-month old Blago. Her tip, "On every diaper changing I leave him open with a dry open diaper." He used to pee and poop in it. I followed you since pregnancy and thought, 'Oh, I'll just wait till summer.' But he has digestion problems, a lot of groaning, straining, and frowning before pooping. One day I simply took a container, some random container, put him in position and he pooped so hard that I almost was frightened and that time he peed also, but we missed our container, which is pretty big. Actually, he still pees on the floor because he pees straight out. That is our story." So, she helped to solve her child's digestion problems by holding him in the classic EC position, which is a deep squat which is developmentally appropriate for elimination at any age. 

The second tip, Stephanie, who began at six weeks old and has a 19 month old son. "EC is not a straight linear path. There are ups and downs, good days, weeks and months and bad ones. Be consistent, but not rigid, and have all the right tools at hand. As the name of the process indicates, keep the lines of communication open both ways. Over time introduce new tools and techniques to empower him, or her, to be independent at whatever developmental stage they're in." 

That really speaks to what we're talking about today. What developmental stage are they in and how can we assist and aid the life of our baby through indirect and direct preparations, which we will talk about next week. I hope you'll join me then. Till later, I'm Andrea Olson at godiaperfree.com, and this has been episode 69 of the Go Diaper Free Podcast. See you next time.