Regression at walking. I thought we were going to be all wrapped up by now, and now it's the opposite. This is episode 196. Please look at the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/196 for a full written transcript of this show, along with any links to anything mentioned in today's episode. You could also comment over there and ask your questions if you'd like. Here we go.
Hey, there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.
Hey, there. So we're going to talk about regressions at walking. Like you thought you were going to be wrapping it up and now it's not happening. We've actually got the opposite happening. We've got massive resistance. And what does that mean? Do we put them back in diapers? Do we give up? Do we potty train later?
So first of all, I want to say that resistance is a really good sign. It means your child is seeking autonomy, which is super important. The second thing is your child wants more control over the process. We want to give that as much as possible, and I'll give you some tips on that in a second. The third reason is that they might be busy with a new task. Just because they finished walking and understand that now. Well, now they're onto running. Now they're onto maybe using a fork or a spoon or using a real cup. Or maybe they're onto talking, and in the beginning of talking, maybe sign language. There is some other developmental task that is now next in line that they're working on. So we want to understand and acknowledge, there are other things on their mind besides potty time, like there used to be.
They may also need more privacy than before. So I'm going to jump right into how to give privacy. If you've been using the Mini Potty, I want you to start using the big toilet with a toilet seat reducer. If you've been using the big toilet with a reducer, I want you to use it in a slightly different way than before. You're going to put them on that. And then you are going to have lined the floor with towels or pillows or blankets or something very, very soft, just in case your child tries to dive off. I and my company are not responsible if anything goes awry with this. So if this doesn't sound like a good idea, or it sounds too risky to you, then don't try it. It's fine. It'll still work out fine.
But usually the people in my community and I have found that once you give them a little bit of privacy, they actually will go right when you round the corner to leave the room to go get your hairbrush that you forgot or whatever. "I'll be right back. I just forgot my hairbrush." Go around the corner, listen, and you hear the tinkle. So usually that works pretty well. Starting at about eight months old babies do need a lot more privacy and you can also just have the Mini Potty in front of the shower curtain and allow them to cover themselves with it. And usually they will go behind the shower curtain as well.
They also really need independent repetition of a task at this age. So yes, we've completed walking. What is the next thing we can do? Learning how to use our hands together, gross motor skills, fine motor skills. All of the things that happen now often require this obsessive immersion in a task to the point of like, "Whoa, how many more times are you going to do that?" And then progressively overloading their bodies with more and more weight or more and more challenges as they go. They are doing what toddlers are supposed to do. So allowing them that, that independent practicing and repetition of tasks is super important.
We want to offer a little bit less now because the frequency of their pee has decreased. They aren't going as often. They're going with longer expanses of time. I'm going to do a podcast in a few weeks about this. How often will my baby pee? So around walking, they start to go around 30 to every 30 to 45 minutes. This is just a rough average, but it could be upwards of two hours. It could be as low as 20 minutes. But the point is that they can hold it longer than they could a month ago. So if you're offering the same as you did a month ago, you might want to do a new observation session. And you can use my log. It's called The Log, the observation log. I'll link to the paper log, but I'll also link to the app for your phone so you can download that and you can see how often my child goes now. If they're peeing on the floor five minutes later, and that's part of the regression, then offer five minutes after you normally would have or carry them around while they're naked for a little while for five minutes, and then try again. Overall, we want to offer less without giving up. And we do want to revert back to the Four Easy Catches if that's what works. So the Four Easy Catches are wake ups, poops, diaper changes, and ins and outs. So you definitely want to do that as well.
The other thing, if there's regression at walking, you might want to go straight into undies or commando and stop using diapers because they've completed the walking task. It's super important that a lot of people think, "Oh my gosh, there's regression and resistance. We're having accidents all the time. Why would I want to stop using diapers? I feel like I need them more now." But the indication from the child is that they need more independence and control. They want to be like you. They want to be big kids. So we will change their backup. Stop using diapers in the daytime hours, permanently. Babies rise to the occasion. It's amazing to see that happen.
And on that note, we want to begin to pass the baton more assertively if there is resistance, because that is something that's going to help assist them. There's an entire chapter in my book, Go Diaper Free, which I'll link to in the show notes, that goes over how to pass the baton, what to teach, and when. We also have an entire course, a program on that now for different age ranges of babies. This one's called Passing The Baton for 12 to 17 month babies. And that is going to very deeply talk about how to pass the baton. When one thing happens, do the next thing. So we'll link to that in the show notes as well.
And lastly, I want to just tell you that during non-pottying times, I would love for you to teach all the parts that they might be missing. How to wipe, how to wash hands, how to turn the light switch on and off. How to put the stool at the toilet so they can get on. How to put the toilet seat on their reducer. How to dump the Mini Potty. How to change when they have wet pants and how to put new ones on. How to push and pull their pants up and down. Those are all key things that you can teach. And again, in my book, we go over that and in the program, we go over that as well. What parts can you teach? And those things are going to be little keys that allow your child to stop having to resist and to assert their independence because they will genuinely be independent. So wonderful. Oh, also if you don't have a Mini Potty that your child can get on independently, then you're going to be in for a little bit more challenge. So definitely hit up tinyundies.com and get my super short Mini Potty. Sometimes that pauses that regression and makes it go away completely.
That's all I've got for you today about regression at walking. I hope you've got something out of this episode, for sure. So again, you can check out the show notes at godiaperfree.com/196. I'd like to know if you've had a regression at walking and if so, what have you done to solve it? Or if you have any questions whatsoever, please leave a comment over there as well, and we look forward to seeing you.
Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.
So, I think this is about where I’m at with my 13 month old. We’ve been doing kind of lazy EC since about 1 month, with a big lapse when we moved at about 4.5 months. I’m trying to really refocus so we’ve been doing a lot of time in undies. I think privacy is something he wants because his misses usually happen within the 5 seconds I leave the room. The problem is that I can’t even get him to sit on the potty most of the time. He arches his back and writhes around and I can’t get him seated long enough to give him privacy. Do you have any suggestions?
What kind of backup are you using? Is he in a disposable, a cloth diaper or Tiny Trainers or Undies? I’d first try changing the backup, and focusing on some observation time to see if you can find a rhythm to his potty needs throughout the day. Also, taking a small break and focusing on those easy catches can help get rid of any pressure you may both be feeling. If you don’t already have my book I’d recommend starting there! Also I have a new subscription service Potty Tribe where every week on Friday’s coaches help mommas such as yourself troubleshoot any EC or Potty Training issues you may be encountering!
Thanks! I use a combo of cloth, disposable, and tiny trainers depending on where/when. I found the podcast episode with suggestions for a baby that won’t sit on the potty and we’ve been pottying outside with more success in the last 24 hours than the previous weeks. He seems much more aware of what is happening and being outside totally relaxes him (he loves watching our chickens!)
That’s awesome! I’m so happy a change of scenery helped him! Concentrating more on the use of cloth and trainers may help bring him more awareness indoors as well, that way he can really start to make that mind body connection between feeling a full bladder and being wet when there is a miss.
I’m in the same boat. We’re pretty relaxed with EC and were focused on catching poos. We were catching nearly all of them until my son was about 8-9 months and then now we can’t catch ANY. I’d have him on the potty and 2-5 minutes later he’d poop in his nappy. He now completely refuses to even sit on the potty to the point where I don’t want to try anymore as it’s too tiring. I also would love some suggestions!
I totally relate. Refusing to sit on the potty feels like it makes the whole experience so stressful for us both. I’ve had a hard time with poops after the newborn stage and recently I feel like my attempt to move him when I see the “poop face” makes him hold it in completely. He’s either already started or won’t go when we get to the potty. I’ve taken a break from trying to catch poos and have mostly been focusing on pees. I’m hoping once we have a better routine the poops will come naturally.
I totally relate. The resistance makes pottying so stressful for us both. I’ve had a hard time with poops after the newborn phase, but recently it seems like moving him when I see the “poop face” makes him hold it in. Either he finishes in his undies or diaper or won’t go when we get to the potty. I’ve taken a break from trying to catch poos and am hoping that when we get a better routine with pees, the poops will come naturally. I also don’t want him to associate going to the bathroom with stress, so changing it up by going outside (only been about 24 hours now) has helped me feel like I’m not giving up.
Firstly I would recommend getting my book Go Diaper Free if you don’t already have it, I have an outline for every stage, many practical how to, and troubleshooting for every stage 0-18 months. In The Tiny Potty Training Book I cover ages 18-36 months. So much depends on baby’s age, any life events, developmental milestones, what kind of backup baby is in, as to why you could be experiencing a potty pause. Changing the backup can be a great help to baby, also a change of scenery, introducing a book or toy to help keep baby on the potty. Sometimes doing a complete reset and starting over with some naked observation can help tremendously when trying to narrow down baby’s potty rhythms. I recently launched a subscription service Potty Tribe where every Friday coaches get together to help troubleshoot any EC and potty training issues that may have occurred during the week. I recommend checking that out as well for more help!