Melissa Ambrosini on doing Elimination Communication with her baby: Australian author and mum shares about EC, and more!

Best-selling author Melissa Ambrosini shares her EC and first-time motherhood journey, including the hardest part (and how she overcame it!), her favorite EC tool, and her best piece of wisdom for new and seasoned mamas alike on EC, motherhood, and life!
You will hear:
- what first attracted Melissa to EC
- Melissa's favorite part of doing EC with her baby
- the hardest part of EC for Melissa and how she overcame it!
- Melissa's must-have tool for EC
- Melissa's plan for ditching daytime diapers
- coming soon: a Young Toddler’s Course
- THE thing Melissa would tell new moms about EC, motherhood, and life!
Links and other resources mentioned today:
- Melissa Ambrosini (website)
- Melissa Ambrosini (instagram)
- Andrea’s interview with Melissa
- Open Wide
- The Go Diaper Free Book
- Top Hat Potty
Download the Transcript
If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:
So today you guys, we have another interview. I know I hardly ever do interviews, but now that my babies have grown up a tiny bit, I can finally schedule my life a little bit better. So today, I have on the show, a very special guest, Melissa Ambrosini is the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, and PurposeFULL. She's the host of the top rated podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show, which currently has 18 million downloads. She's a keynote speaker and an entrepreneur, and she lives down under in Australia. And El Magazine named her a self-help guru.
This woman is on a mission to inspire other people, to unlock their full potential and live their dream life. And she is beautiful inside and out. I absolutely adore Melissa. A little backstory. Melissa invited me on her podcast back when she was pregnant. Her baby is now nine months old, and she interviewed me because she wanted to learn more about EC. And I was just completely flattered. I was so excited just to share this with her and her audience. And that episode is number 401 on her podcast. If you want to go check it out, it's really good. She's a great interviewer. And that aired on June 8th, 2021.
So anyway, came back around and she's DMed me a few times on Instagram. "Hey, we're a little stuck here. Will you do this?" In any case, she actually took what I taught her and shared with her and she read my book and got my potty and she implemented it with her baby. So today we're going to talk about that and we're going to talk about a million other things. So I hope you really thoroughly enjoy this. You can go see the show notes, including a full transcript of this podcast episode over at godiaperfree.com/180. And here goes the interview. I hope you enjoy it.
Hey there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all ECed from birth, all out of diapers by walking.
Andrea Olson:
You guys, I am so excited to have our newest guest on this show, Melissa Ambrosini. I have no idea how I even ended up on your show last year, but it was such an honor. You asked me all about EC, and then not only did you ask me about it for your audience, but you then implemented it with your baby and reached out to me in DMs being like, "Could you please help me?" And I was just so honored, I'm so honored to be part of your journey. So welcome to the show, Melissa.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Thank you for having me, darling. And it's been such an amazing journey and I'm so grateful to have you by my side through this journey.
Andrea Olson:
Absolutely. And it's so crazy. Everybody listening is probably like, "How come she gets Andrea on text and I can't do that?" So, I know I'm making you guys really jealous. I'm sorry. But it helps me practice and stay on top of what's going on with EC real time with people today too. And then I have limited time because I have five babies. So when you reach out to me for help, which I encourage you to always do, I am just so honored and I get to practice my chops, so it's super fun. But some people might not know who you are since we're over here in the States. So I would love for you to introduce yourself, to share a little bit about yourself, what you do, where you live and what you love.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Okay. So hi everybody. I'm so honored to be here to talk about something that I'm really passionate about. But for those that have never come across me or my work, my name is Melissa Ambrosini and I write personal development self-help, motivational, inspirational books for women. I have four books out, Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, and an audible original called PurposeFULL. So I write books. I have my own podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show where I share my wisdom and interview epic humans like Andrea. And I do talks on motivation and living your best life and unlocking your full potential and moving past fear and being the best version of yourself. And I create online programs and eBooks and meditations and other products to help people be the best version of themselves. And I absolutely love what I do so much. I'm currently living in Australia in a beachy little town. I moved out of the city just before COVID, and I'm so glad I did. And I have a daughter who I gave birth to in 2021. And I have a 15 year old stepson and my husband and I love all things to do with being the best version of yourself and living your dream life.
Andrea Olson:
I think you're one of the most amazing women I have ever met online, virtual of course. You guys, whenever I listen to Melissa talk, I'm just like, "Wow." It sounds like that wise inner voice in myself that comes out sometimes and she's amplifying all the things that we already know we should be doing, but she's like a big sister or best friend who's like, "Hey, you got this." And I appreciate you so much. You guys, you should definitely follow her show. She has a huge following and it's just imparting this wonderful truth and wisdom to the world, which I'm all about. Truth, freedom, wisdom, all the things that free us. So, awesome. Welcome.
And you guys also know that I rarely interview anybody, but as my youngest is now three, I now have more capacity to actually have a schedule and meet up with people and do things that normal people do. So just a few amazing women on our podcast. And I just can't wait to hear your story and about all the EC things. So how old is your baby girl right now?
Melissa Ambrosini:
She's almost 9 months old. When we recorded this, it was nine months.
Andrea Olson:
Awesome. And where did you, or who did you hear about EC from?
Melissa Ambrosini:
I first heard about it from another girl that I follow on Instagram. I actually can't remember where-
Andrea Olson:
Is it Montana?
Melissa Ambrosini:
It might be Montana Fox, who's also Australian. And I think that was where I first heard. I may have heard about it before and then I saw her talk about it and then it kind of instilled in me, "Yes, this is something that I want to do." But I did think I heard about it a bit before that and I can't remember where. And watching her share about EC, her and her husband share about EC with their little daughter Blue.
Andrea Olson:
Yes. It was Montana. Yes, Montana Lower. Yes.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yes. I think it was way before I was even pregnant, I was like, "That's what I'm going to do."
Andrea Olson:
See she even sneezes cute. I'm not cutting that out, that was adorable. So Montana Lower, I remember when she posted about it and she had our potty from Tiny Undies, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's our potty." And she did a little shout out, because I was like, "Why do I have thousands more Instagram followers today? I don't know what happened." It was Montana's fault. So she talked about it. And what about it resonated? What caught your ear? Why were you like, oh my gosh, I have to do this?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Nature. Going back to nature. And for me, I'd never understood why you would teach a baby to do something. For example, why you would teach a baby to poo in their nappy and then unteach them, why you teach them to play with their food, and then you say, "Don't play with your food." Why you teach them to do all of these things and then you have to unteach. And I thought, "Am I just creating more work for myself?" We teach them to have dummies and to swaddle them and then we take those things away. So that always kind of played in my mind like, "Why not set them up from the get-go with how it's going to be?" They're not going to have a dummy or a pacifier for their whole life. So I was like, "Why would I give that to her?" I mean, everyone is different, but that just is what resonated with me.
And I read a lot about it and I thought, "Would I like to go to the toilet in my own pants?" And the answer is no. Absolutely no, I would not. And listening to your work and reading your books, I've read your book, cover to cover before I was pregnant. And I just thought, "This is what I want to do." And so I wanted to do that with her as soon as possible. The first three months, I was literally just getting my head around being a first-time mom. And I honestly thought in that time, there's no way I could add EC to the equation right now. And that was just for me personally. I was like, "I'm just trying to get my head around all of the things and the boobs and the engorgement and the nipples and the nipples shields and all of this stuff. But then literally, I feel like at six weeks, the clouds opened up, and I was like, "Oh my gosh." I felt like I had landed back in my body a bit more. And then when she hit three months, I was like, "Ugh." I felt like I'd fully landed more so in my body.
And literally, she hit 3 months and I turned to Nick and I was like, "I'm ready for EC." And he was like, "Okay, let's do it." And we literally started. And on day one, she did a poo and a wee in the potty. And we have been doing it every day since, and she knows. I don't think we give babies enough credit. They are so intelligent. They know everything. They just need us to guide them and to support them and hold space for them. But they know. She knows that as soon as she sits there, she goes to the toilet, and it's just such a beautiful thing.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. Because you're teaching... Well basically, it's based on human development, the way we're created, so there's no friction. It's like, we're designed this way, when you were ready, you picked that up, she was right with you. And for you, it sounds like it was just a matter of, "We're going to start the way we want to go on. We mean to go on this way, so we're just going to start that way." And it's wonderful that you had so much compassion for yourself too, and your recovery after birth. Becoming a new mom for the first time is no joke. It is, whoa! Talk about completely flipping your entire life upside down, especially a massively productive and just effective person in the world. You're not just sitting around being lazy and doing nothing. You're a go-getter and then errr hello, baby, and all the new things.
So starting when you are ready, that's such a good inspiration for everybody who is just so hard on themselves. "I didn't start right at birth like you, Andrea. I feel like a bad mom. No, you sound like, you're just like, "Okay, I got to master the basics and being here..." And you guys were in your fourth trimester, so of course the baby is coming into herself. You're coming into yourself as a mom, and it makes sense to start around that age. I just had a class today, 0 to 3 months, it's like 40% of people were starting during that window. And it's great that people are learning when they're pregnant, but you learned even before you were pregnant, which is kudos, man.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And something that also resonated deeply with me, my husband, like I shared before, he has a son, so he's been through all of this before. And I cannot tell you how helpful that was, because there were times where I was like, "What's going on?" He's like, "No, no. It's cool. Don't worry. She's fine." So I had him to kind of bring me back down, which is amazing.
But we spoke about this before she was here. We have never dumped her down or done baby talk. We use the correct words for our body parts, vulva, vagina, penis. We never did that with her, and we've always just spoken our truth and spoken correctly. And EC felt like just the right thing to do for us at that time. And I know people that have started, like Montana started at two weeks, and that felt good for her. And I want to encourage everyone to just do what feels right for you and start when it does feel right for you because everyone is so different. And you might have six other kids at home, and you might have no other kids at home, so you just really do have to start when it feels good for you.
Andrea Olson:
Absolutely. And to take your example, also be educated about, "What am I getting myself into?" We don't have that passed down knowledge, right? We don't have that intact culture where we are learning just by being human. We have to go out and learn certain things, like breastfeeding. Sounds like you had a little bit of a whirlwind with that. You had to use a nipple shield? I can only imagine. There are things happening there, it's like, if we were just observing and watching... And even birth. My first birth experience was my own and I was terrified. Helping a baby sleep, all these things usually are passed down, so we have to go out and get resourced and then whenever we feel ready, it's time to do it. And I love that the very first day you had a pee and a poop, and the thought, it just inspires you to keep going. It's like that is a reward, and then you're like, "I can't turn back now."
Melissa Ambrosini:
Totally. And my husband and I are very eco-conscious, and we very much try to minimize our footprint that we are leaving on the planet. And so EC from a waste perspective made so much sense to us and a cost perspective and an environmental perspective. It just made so much sense. I get so much satisfaction out of not using as many wipes and as many diapers as other people. I get so much satisfaction out of that. Every time she poops in the toilet, in the potty, sorry, I'm like, "Yes, I just saved one more diaper." I get so much satisfaction out of that. I know, it's crazy.
Andrea Olson:
I know how you feel. No, no, no. I totally know how you feel. And anybody listening who's just like, "Oh yeah." I completely feel that. I have had five kids and they've all been out of diapers by about one, instead of three which is the average age. So I've saved about 10,000 U.S dollars in diapers, which is massive. And I use cloth on a lot of them so I probably saved more than that, and then I found compostables. And you guys listen, there are so many ways to deal with so many different kinds of diapers.
But every time we would have one that we would re-use, we would re-use it until the tabs fell off, the disposable ones. It became a game, "How many times can we re-use this one?" And then when it finally gets thrown away, especially because it's compostable, there is very little impact compared to a family who doesn't have the resources or the knowledge to do something like this. Because to be honest, we're told to do the opposite. We're told to do it for 3 to 5 years because that's going to make those companies more money. That's basically why.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And you know what that is? It's so interesting, it's three. Is three the average age?
Andrea Olson:
It is. Yes.
Melissa Ambrosini:
My mind is blown because I'm like, "They are so intelligent." They know way before that, but it makes sense that of course, the big companies want you to do it until 3. Of course, they do. Why? Because then you keep buying the wipes, you keep buying the diapers. And when you do EC as well, you use... Most of the time, I don't even need to use a wipe.
Andrea Olson:
I know.
Melissa Ambrosini:
I don't need to do anything.
Andrea Olson:
That’s today in my class. It's like, "That's a clean one." When you're eating pure... We're not eating so pure like they are when they're a newborn especially, but if you're feeding them really whole foods and all that, what comes out, comes out clean. Did they have toilet paper thousands of years ago? No. What did they do? Well, they had different diets for hunters and gatherers. They pooped clean ones all the time. They didn't have this constipation stuff that we have here. And yeah, I will put a little water on the bum, over the sink and maybe pat with a little butt towel. We call it a bum towel, not a hand towel because that's the baby's butt towel. You don't have to throw those away.
But the diaper companies don't get to make that money. And I just want to tell you, there's somebody who lives here in Asheville, North Carolina, who was an executive at Pampers for 35 years. He holds the patent on the diaper that has a little cut out for the umbilical cord. So he was way up there. And when I met him, I was like, "You're the enemy. I need to talk to you." So we had coffee, and I told him about EC, and he told me about... They just wanted to serve moms, but nobody would buy their diapers, so they did these scientific studies. Fake science, which is so... We're getting very familiar with that.
These days, what this fake science has said, "Yeah, you need to wait for readyness to potty train your baby." And this person worked for Pampers University. So this guy told me the truth about it all. And then he goes, "We went into ages and stages in the '90s, and that really blew up our revenue. And we really thought we were just serving moms." He said, "Now that you're telling me about EC, my mind is blown, and I feel like we might have gone too far." And then he wouldn't talk to me. He couldn't talk to me for five days. And I was like, "Come on, you got to come do a follow up with me. We just have to talk."
And he came back and he's like, "I really think we brought it too far." And he's no longer with the company. He's a shareholder, he's invested. But the guilt on his face when I told him how much our babies are just being wronged in this as a result of marketing and money mongering. I don't mean to go here, but you guys know me who are listening, there are real reasons why they want us to go till 3. And my youngest is 3. I can't imagine her pooping in her pants. And she's such an independent go-getting little girl who's just so full of love and fire and self love. So I'm so glad that you found out early. And I hope that through this podcast and all the other ones, that either of us do, whenever we mention it, that people will hear this and go, "I'm not going to let the corporations tell me how to parent. I'm going to do this the way that feels good and natural and that's right for my baby and the environment," because it's massively, massively right for the environment.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Absolutely. And I also have disposable eco-friendly compostable diapers as well, which we still use as well in between. And then we have some organic cloth ones as well that we also have. But our intention is to always catch them as much as we can. That's our intention. And it's a beautiful time to just sit and be. So we are currently using the Top Hat Potty. So your Top Hat Potty that you sent me.
Andrea Olson:
Tada!
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yes. That one.
Andrea Olson:
This one.
Melissa Ambrosini:
That one, that exact color and everything.
Andrea Olson:
Oh awesome. I sent you my favorite color.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. So we are currently using that at the moment. And it's either my husband or I will do it or my 15-year-old, and we would just sit there. And it's really beautiful. It's a beautiful time to just sit and be. And I think now more than ever, the rushing, the go, go, go, do, do, do, go, go, go, achieve, achieve, achieve, my moments where I just get to sit in EC with her or breastfeed are some of my favorite moments in the day because I get to be fully present. You can't text message and scroll social media whilst you're ECing. Trust me. You cannot.
Andrea Olson:
You can't. True.
Melissa Ambrosini:
No, you can't.
Andrea Olson:
True story. No, it's impossible.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And same with breastfeeding, for me, it's just these beautiful pockets in my day where I get to stop, slow down, be fully present with her, breathe her in, smell her. I just smell her hair. She must be like, "What is my mom doing, always sniffing me?" I just smell her because she smells so delicious. And I just play with her hands and talk to her and it's such a beautiful time to connect and I tell her what we're doing. So we also practice baby sign language. So I do the sign for the potty, after we feed, I say, "Let's go do the potty now." And I do the sign for the potty, and I'll sit with her and I'll tell her, I say, "We're sitting on the potty now. And this is where you can do your pee, and this is where you can do your poo, and you can go for it now."
I just talk to her, like I would talk to anyone. I don't use other words for things. And some people do, and that is their choice, but for us personally, it just didn't feel right to use other words. Like we say poo and wee, and we say, "This is where you do it. And I have a little potty song that I'll sometimes sing to her. But she just sits there and she usually goes quite quickly. She'll either do a wee or a poo straight away. But then sometimes if I sit there for a little bit longer, she might do more poo, and it will just keep coming. And it's just such a beautiful time to stop in our day and connect and to be present with our littles.
Andrea Olson:
Absolutely. And you know what that does for me and has done? All the older people in my life, in the grocery store, wherever, they're always like, "This will pass so quickly. You have to cherish these moments." And it sounds so cliche, but it's true. And every time I hear that, I'm like, "Thank you. You're right." And part of the reason why I only work three hours a day and I always have, is because I want to be present with my kids. And it's hard. And I'm recently divorced, so I'm single, and it's like, "Okay, it can be a lot." And I'm calling in the help.
But the thing that makes everything, I think about parenting so much easier, and this is for all the new, new mamas out there, is to surrender to it, and to surrender to this flow and this beautiful gift. And when you're breastfeeding or pottying, I totally agree. Time stands still. And you get to just soak in together. And that smell, yeah, they smell like cupcakes or beautiful pastries. They're just so... God, you're making me have baby fever again. It's like, "I want another one."
I think we're trained as parents to just treat the baby like a doll. They're passive. They're passive participants and you're just this caregiver and there's not really a connection there. And sometimes I wonder if that's intentional, because there's a lot of disconnection being supported in our world right now. I just think it's so beautiful because EC helps you to learn how to be a better mom because you have to slow down and pay attention and go, "All right, I'm here with you." It's Beautiful.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Absolutely. And it's a beautiful opportunity for your partner to get involved and have little moments with them as well, which my husband loves. He's like, "Can I potty her?" He loves pottying her because he just sits there. So where we do it, we actually do it on our kitchen table. So we have a big bench seat. So she sits in between our legs on the Top Hat Potty and we've got a mirrored wall, so we're both facing the mirror, and we talk to each other, so I can see her face. Its really sweet. So we make faces at each other and sing songs and we wave because she's into waving. So we wave at each other.
Andrea Olson:
9 months. Yes.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. It's so cute. And I think, maybe next time I might start even earlier now knowing how easy it actually is. I will probably start earlier if everything flows the way it flows. But there was a little bit of resistance at the start because I thought it was going to be really hard. I thought it was going to be a lot of work and I thought it was not going to be easy, but 100% is so easy. It's easier than changing a diaper and wiping. It's quicker and it's easier and it's a lot less mess. I think next time and even the time after that, if we have two more, I will definitely start earlier if it flows.
Andrea Olson:
And after doing this for so long, I just have a feeling that you'll be like...There's no going back. The day your baby will be born, you'll be like, "Okay, it's on. I got my Top Hat Potty already. Let's just do it." If everything flows and goes well, yeah, you become a culture to it and your husband as well. So it becomes a family thing. And then your daughter will help with the next baby. And it just becomes, "This is what we do."
Melissa Ambrosini:
Absolutely. And even my 15-year-old stepson, when he first was like, "What?" And my parents, they were like, "What?" And then I would just say, "Oh, I'm just pottying her." And they would watch me. And then I think they were kind of a bit skeptical and they would roll their eyes a little bit, and then they would see that she just did a poo and a wee in the potty and their mind was blown. And now my dad is like, "I have no words, Melissa." My dad always says to me, "You are so inspiring. You are so inspiring." He's so sweet. He goes, "You need to tell everyone about this. You need to tell everyone." He's like, "Why don't people know about this?" And I'm like, "Well, it's a good question. Dad." He's so sweet. He's like, "You've got to write a book about all of your parenting things and you've got to do this."
Andrea Olson:
Oh, yeah. You do. I can't wait to read it if you do.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. I definitely will one day. But it just makes so much sense. And it's such a beautiful time to connect. It's a beautiful opportunity for your partner to stop and slow down and connect. And especially now because of the pandemic, lots of partners are working from home, so they have that time and space as well.
Andrea Olson:
Right. And I found the same thing with my ex-husband. He jumped right in. He didn't really feel like he could participate in a lot of ways because I was doing all the breastfeeding. And then when they had a boo-boo, they needed mama and all of that. But he definitely was into the potty and he was into the tools. So sometimes he'd use the diapers too much, I'd be like, "Hey, we're doing this other thing." So I think once we set up our men for success, it's easier for them to find their place, and they're like, "I know the baby needs to go right now, here, honey, you take them." And then they get a catch and then they feel that confidence and it's a win, right?
Melissa Ambrosini:
100%. And when I text you early on, and for those of you, I'll just give a little backstory about what the message said that I sent you. And I think it was something along the lines of, "We've started, but she's not really showing signs." You talk a lot about it in your book, like wait for the sign. And I was like, "She's 3 months. There's no sign." And so you said to me, "Just offer after every time they wake up and every feed." So I started doing that. So every time she woke up, I would offer the potty. And then after every feed, I would offer the potty. And started catching up to catch up to catch. She doesn't really know what her sign is now, and I keep teaching her the potty sign and then eventually she'll do that, but she kind of just stops and she kind of freezes and I know, "Oh, okay. We're about to do a number two here." But you said to me, "At this stage, they might not have a sign. And it's later that they start doing signs or they'll start communicating, or they'll start saying potty, potty." And that was a big relief for me because I was like, "She's not making any signs, what's wrong? Is there something I'm doing? Is it something she's doing? What's wrong? Why isn't she making a sign?" Because I thought there would be a very clear signal for me to take her. And no, it wasn't. It was your advice to me was, "Just offer her when she wakes up and after every feed." Like you said to me, "It's like us, when do we go to the toilet?" After we eat and usually when we wake up.
Andrea Olson:
Exactly.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And then you're like, "They're little mini versions of us."
Andrea Olson:
And once you really think about it, just sit and think about it. "Oh yeah. They're just humans, just like us." I talk to my kids the same. I don't do baby talk. I never have. My kids are highly intelligent, really engaging. I mean, really why? Why would I teach them how to say everything wrong with Baby talk?
Melissa Ambrosini:
And you have to reteach.
Andrea Olson:
And reteach it later. And I definitely did sign language and that definitely helped and then they'd start signing potty to tell me they need to go. And it's like, we give them the tools to succeed in our real life, what they're going to meet when they're growing and then being in the world. I'm just so excited. So many of my best friends along the years have never tried EC even though I'm the EC woman and there's some mix of intimidation and overwhelm and all that that keeps it from happening.
But like you said, once you start it, it's so easy that you're just like, "Well maybe it was just my mindset that was in the way." And all the newness and all this stuff, and then just to see you take this and just live it and Montana as well, it's just like, "Oh ladies, we are doing it. We are changing the story for generations." It's literally going to trickle down.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And we're saving the planet and-
Andrea Olsen:
Completely.
Melissa Ambrosini:
... and saving our wallets.
Andrea Olson:
Great. Everything.
Melissa Ambrosini:
I have a beautiful mother's group that I am a part of that I created and shared with them, and some of them are not interested at all because they have told themselves that maybe it's too hard or it's going to take too much time. And then there are others that are like, "Whoa, why didn't I know about this? Sign me up, tell me what to do." And then I'll go home and I'll take a photo of the Top Hat Potty. And I'm like, "This is the potty that we use. Get it from Andrea's website. This is her Book. Read it if you want to." And I just share with them. And one of my friends, it's amazing, her little boy is, I think, 3 months now. And she's been doing it with him and they love it. They're like, "Why would we do anything else?"
Andrea Olson:
It makes so much sense. And it's really just a matter of doing it, seeing it, being around it, that just opens people's eyes. And I wanted to mention the Top Hat Potty is now being sold. I can't remember the name of the company right now, but in New Zealand. So we are slowly making our way in, and I'm trying to get it into Amazon and Australia. I believe there's a shipment on the way. So I'm just saying all the people who are listening, who also follow Melissa and also happen to live down under you guys will be able to get Top Hat Potty from me soon.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And that is amazing because the Top Hat Potties are amazing. I know Montana, in her video, she just had an old container, which-
Andrea Olson:
She did. Yeah. And then she had this one, which is a step up.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yes. I've also got that one too. And you can use the containers, but I mean, it's just so much more comfortable having the Top Hat Potty because you don't have to hold them and their body weight. You can rest them on the potty. It's just so much easier. Because originally, before I got yours, I just thought, "Oh, we'll just keep an old container and use that." And my husband's like, "Yep, let's just do that." But I cannot tell you how much better it is with the Top Hat Potty. And sometimes my husband will hold her over the toilet if we are traveling and for some reason we didn't bring. We went to an eco-retreat and we couldn't take the potty, but we were outside. So she just pottied outside the whole time. Or he would hold her over the toilet. But for me, I am nursing some serious breastfeeding shoulders and wrists at the moment.
Andrea Olson:
Oh, this and that.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. So for me, holding her over the toilet is just not a good idea for my shoulders and my back and my wrists right now.
Andrea Olson:
And I have a little tip for that though.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Oh yeah?
Andrea Olson:
You put a little, like a kid's stool underneath your butt when you're holding them over the toilet, you can actually sit down and have good posture and hold them over the toilet if you want to.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Oh, great idea.
Andrea Olson:
It's a little trick. I mean, it took me four babies to learn that one. But yeah. I talked about posture, mama posture a couple podcasts ago, and I think it's really important. I would always catch myself, and luckily, I'm on Instagram, so I have to get a lot of pictures of me going out there and I'm like, "Gosh, my posture is terrible." And that's causing problems with my body, and this pottying my baby shouldn't cause me pain, shouldn't cause the baby pain. So if there's pain, we got to, of course, correct.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Totally.
Andrea Olson:
The Top Hat Potty has helped you though. That's what you're saying.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Oh my gosh.
Andrea Olson:
Completely.
Melissa Ambrosini:
So yeah. I literally sit and I'm facing the mirror, remember? So I am sitting and I'm making sure my shoulders are back and down, my hands are on either side of the potty and I'm sitting upright and I've got a long, beautiful elongated spine. And for me, it's so important because I am nursing some breastfeeding injuries at the moment.
Andrea Olson:
Ugh, I'm sending you healing power. You do yoga, right?
Melissa Ambrosini:
I do yoga, but I wish someone had told me this. Okay. Before you get pregnant, strengthen your upper back muscles. Strengthen your wrists and your upper back and then once you're pregnant, keep strengthening your wrists and your upper back. Literally, go and get a personal trainer and say, "I'm about to stop breastfeeding and I need strong back muscles." This is what I wish I had done, and then once you're pregnant, still do it. And then when you stop breastfeeding, make sure you'd... I could not stop looking down at her. I was obsessed.
Andrea Olson:
I know.
Melissa Ambrosini:
So a good posture-
Andrea Olson:
And you're sniffing your head, so you're just going like that-
Melissa Ambrosini:
I'm sniffing my head all the time. So, the amount of times I put my neck out... I'm not even joking. I put my neck out and my shoulders were hunched forward because I'm holding her, and my neck went out so many times. I have to see the osteo every week. I had to get massages every single week. Acupuncture, chiro, all of these things. Because I was like, "I don't care." And I would breastfeed with my leg up on the kitchen bench and holding her and just in the most awkward-
Andrea Olson:
Of course, you did.
Melissa Ambrosini:
... positions, not really understanding that this is a repetitive thing.
Andrea Olson:
Stress injury. Yeah.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Exactly. So now I have RSI in my wrists.
Andrea Olson:
Do you have a carpal tunnel?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yes, I do.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. I had that too temporarily. And what I was told, is that if you have your hands straight, so for those of you watching versus listening, you won't or listening, you won't be able to see this. But if you're nursing or holding your baby, you should have a straight line from your elbow to your middle finger. If you break that in this way, you're going to develop carpal tunnel. So, my first midwife told me that. The other thing is my first... I take stronger yoga. I love it. And my first mommy-and-me yoga class, she's like, "Ladies, a room full of 20 babies." And she managed to just put them all to sleep while we all did yoga. It was amazing in Berkeley, California. Mel is her name. If you hear, that's when you're there, look her up. She was like, "Bring your baby to your breast. Do not bring your breast to your baby." And it really helped prevent a lot of injuries, but I totally... I had a wrist brace and everything, because I didn't know it's the relaxing in your body.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Exactly.
Andrea Olson:
And that hormone relaxes everything and then makes you susceptible to injury, right?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Exactly. And I just wish I had have known all of this-
Andrea Olson:
I know.
Melissa Ambrosini:
... because my wrists are so sore.
Andrea Olson:
Oh, still?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. They're still really sore and they're getting better and better because I'm more aware of it now. But ladies, correct posture when you're breastfeeding, correct posture when you're doing EC. And even when you're changing them, don't lean over the bed, get a table that is at the correct height.
Andrea Olson:
Ergonomic.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yes. It's got to be. Otherwise, you're just a mama who's walking around with all of these aches and pains and we don't want that.
Andrea Olson:
And then we also hold our babies on one hip. So I'm right-handed and I'm doing everything with my right hand. And now I'm working with the physical trainer and he's like, "Why is this side stronger than the other?" And I'm like, "Well that's because I stuck my hip out for 10 years." So I have this curved spine and I'm doing stuff with this arm. And I'm just now doing pelvic floor therapy too. And all the things that nobody ever told me about either. So everybody listening, you've got a head start, you get to do the things that we didn't do to prevent these injuries.
Melissa Ambrosini:
I know.
Andrea Olson:
It's rough.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. I tell all of my friends who are pregnant, I'm like, "Go and get a personal trainer and tell them that you want to strengthen your upper back right now." It is all about the upper back. And this is what I'm working on with my trainer right now is all the upper back strengthening so that I can hold her because she's only going to get heavier and I want to hold her. But what I also do a lot of the time is, instead of walking around with her on one hip, trying to do things, trying to multitask and do two things at once, I really try and just do one thing at a time. And I know that's easier said than done and it depends, maybe you have to get dinner on and things like that. But I find I put her on the floor in the kitchen and give her a few little blocks and she loves that, just playing at my feet whilst I'm in the kitchen or sitting in her high chair and I give her some things. And then when it is playtime, instead of me walking around the house, carrying her and doing things, and picking her up, I get down on her level. So I crawl around on the floor with her, which is so good for you, that primal movement. I get on the floor with her and I crawl and I bear crawl and I make sure I'm down there as much as possible. And I try not to do too much lifting. Of course there are times where I do, but if I want her to come into a different room with me, I will crawl on the floor with her. I'm like, "Come on, come and follow mummy." And she'll follow me into the other room crawling.
Andrea Olson:
Oh my gosh, we are so much alike. And you know what's funny is my trainer right now, he's trained in all that primal movement stuff, and he's having me bear crawl and crawl like a kid, and crawl and access and all this stuff. And I’m like eating it up. I'm just like, "Oh yeah." And he's like, "Oh, you probably know all the things because you had so many babies, I've just observed" I'm a former dancer. I still dance. I'm still a dancer. And I love watching people-
Melissa Ambrosini:
Me too.
Andrea Olson:
You do?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
I host dance. There's a studio behind me. That down there, is a sprung dance floor that we made with... I sprung it with little servers of pool noodles, and it's the most amazing space. I have like 20, 25 people here every week on Sundays dancing with me. We do ecstatic dancing here.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Oh my God. I want to come.
Andrea Olson:
Just come. You have to come just to go to the dance class.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Oh my gosh, that sounds amazing.
Andrea Olson:
So my family, we've all with my kids, we all dance. We're all entrepreneurs, they all follow suit with what we do. And I've always been on the floor with them as well. And, when you have your second, it gets a little crazier. And then you have your third and you're like a hit mom. It's like, "How can I help all of you at the same time?" They're all 18 months apart and it gets a little nuts. If you go to the fourth and you have a fourth baby, it gets easier, somehow magically. because they're all different ages and it's weird.
But, yeah. I think it's so important to integrate movement into your life and for wellbeing, but being physical with your children and just even mirroring them and showing them, "I see you and I'm going to engage with you on your level," is like, I don't know. I'm a geek about it though. Especially without the diaper in there, and then they can really move and really roll and when they start walking, it's just like... I get really physical with my kids.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Yeah. That's so beautiful. And we all know the power of movement. For our mental and obviously our physical health. But dance, no matter what you look like, is so beneficial for your mental and physical health. And so I used to be a professional dancer, and I want Bambi, that's my daughter, to love dance, right? So how do I get her to love dance? I dance with her. Every afternoon, we put on a song and I just hold her, or we're on the floor and we'll just have a little boogie, and she starts dancing. So, she'll start blocking... Or her little leg will start going like this. And it's absolutely adorable. Nick and I just look at each other and we're like, "I can't even... What is even happening right now?" It's just, my heart is exploding.
So, that's another thing, whatever you want your children to do. You want your children to be musical, you be musical. You want your children to dance, you dance. You want your children to eat broccoli, you eat broccoli.
Andrea Olson:
You want your kids to not be on a phone, don't be on your phone.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Don't be on your phone. Exactly.
Andrea Olson:
You want them to be outside, go outside.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Totally. You want them to play the piano, you freaking play the piano. You want them to learn a language, you learn a language. But right now, I don't speak another language, I am half Italian from my last name, as you can see. And my nana spoke only Italian, and so my dad when they migrated to Australia, he was really struggling to learn English. So, they let their Italian go, unfortunately. And I never learned the way that I wish I had. And so I always say to dad, "Oh, I wish we had learned Italian, I wish..." I could speak very, very basic Italian to my nana. And I could understand her, but I wish we had learned. And so, before we were pregnant, I said I would love our children to have another language. And Nick agreed. And so, we feel really passionate about French. I lived in Paris for a year. I danced at the Moulin Rouge.
Andrea Olson:
No. I'm so jealous.
Melissa Ambrosini:
And so, we want Bambi to learn French. And so, guess what we are doing? We're learning French at the moment.
Andrea Olson:
That's it. That's the take you guys, that's it. That's literally all it takes. You want your kids to not be screen addicts, don't be a screen addict. You want your kids to not be obese and unhealthy and get diabetes, then take care of your own health. It's literally that easy. The Suzuki method of violin playing, that's how they do it. Did you know that? The parent comes to all the first five lessons, this Japanese method of learning violin, the parent learns in the first five lessons, and the kid is there watching and kind of playing around. So, literally what you're talking about is what they do. And then they create the most amazing violinist children in the world through having the parent do it first.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Wow. I love that. And yeah, I've really been thinking about that piano. I'm going to have to learn the piano because I would love for her to learn that, and to sing and I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to have to get some singing lessons."
Andrea Olson:
You're like my mirror. It's the same thing, we're just in a different part of the world. But all of the things, you can't just be like, "Do this, do as I say, not as I do." But live how you want them to live. Instill the values by having the values yourself. Ever since I've been divorced, I've just been like, "Okay, what kind of mom do I really want to be? I can really be myself now." And it's like, "Okay, these are the values that are important to me." And then I tell my kids, "Look, I sucked at this today, and tomorrow I'm going to really try harder to do this thing differently." Because all I have to do is change my mind.
And our whole house, we light candles for meals now, we cook together. I've got ages 3 to 11. We cook together, we clean together, they do jobs. I have them work to make their money. I don't give them money. There's so many things that I'm just like, "What would have given me more success in the world, right off the bat?" Learning how to cook, all these things, basic skills. I want to equip them all with that. Sewing on a sewing machine, like all the things. And it starts with babyhood. I had a drawer on the bottom of my cabinet and a cupboard that they could go in and it was safe for them to play with everything in it and they'd unload it so that I could cook and they'd go in this drawer and do their thing, at 9 months old. How can I set up this space so it's not void of any kind of danger or something, but it's real? I want real life for them to practice on.
Anyway, we could get into so many conversations about that. I have a question. I want to know, when are you planning to stop using diapers with Bambi? And it's okay if you don't know or if you don't have a solid plan, but I was curious.
Melissa Ambrosini:
What have you seen? I don't know. So she definitely doesn't poop in the night, definitely doesn't poop in the night. But her diaper in the morning is very full with wee, very full. So during the night, I don't know what that would mean or maybe we'd still use them at nighttime.
Andrea Olson:
I mean daytime diapers.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Right. Daytime. Okay. So I don't know, what have you seen anecdotally that works? Because there are times where we still miss, don't get me wrong, we don't catch every single one. Sometimes the day goes and I'm like, "Oh my goodness. I just completely forgot to potty her after her lunch." And my husband's like, "Oh my gosh." Or I forgot. And I'm like, "Things happen."
Andrea Olson:
Totally.
Melissa Ambrosini:
So we're not perfect, and there is no perfect. And I want to encourage everyone listening, mama or not, to delete the word "perfect" from your vocabulary because there is no such thing. There is no such thing as "the perfect mom." There is no such thing as "the perfect easier." There's no such thing. All we can do is do our best. So I mean, do you have any advice for me with where she's at now?
Andrea Olson:
Yeah, I do. Of course I do. I just was recording my young toddlers course, which is 12 to 17 months. I'm doing these new courses that are broken up by age. So, usually once they've mastered walking, everything you're doing right now... I know you said not to say perfect, but it's perfect. It's perfect in the rhythm that you have and the interaction that you have.
What I was gonna say is, when they start walking and they have mastered walking, that's usually when our grandmas and great grandmas would stop using the diapers, because they were hand washing them and they didn't want to wash anymore. And so in 1957, 92% of American babies were done with potty training by 18 months. Done. Not an average, just almost a hundred percent were done.
Diapers were invented 4 years later. And then the brainwashing started and it tripled. So yeah, Exquisite Marketing. I need to take a page out of their book. But, what I mean to imply here is that when it makes sense to stop using daytime diapers is usually after they start walking. And with Montessori School of Thought, she called that, The Sensitive Absorbent Period. The Absorbent Mind. That task is 12 to 18 months where they're going to master the potty. We're going to give them all the building blocks, show them how to do their pants up and down. We're going to encourage self-dressing. These are my learn underwear. Let me know if you want me to mail you some of these.
Melissa Ambrosini:
I've got some. You sent me.
Andrea Olson:
Did I send you some already?
Melissa Ambrosini:
You sent me those. Yes, thank you, honey.
Andrea Olson:
I like reading my own mind. I do that a lot. Okay, so they'll learn underwear, all the things that we can do to equip them so that they don't have any friction in doing it themselves, we do that between 12 and 18 months. There isn't a rush, but I would say that in my experience, hundreds of thousands of people over the years are that if they wait till 17 or 18 months to stop using the diapers, there's usually some friction. If they stop diapers around 12 months, if they just started walking and they've mastered walking and they're around 12, 13 months, there's usually a heck of a lot more success.
Now, the mom and dad don't necessarily feel more ready, but developmentally putting them into, just training pants or just straight into underwear or just commando is a no-brainer at that time. Because, you've already got poops in the potty, and you've already got a lot of really great success, don't change a thing. But once they start walking, once she starts walking, you're going to see that this whole world opens up and that- Think about it, developmentally does it make sense that she should be out of diapers at that time? Yeah. And also just to walk and her gate will be awesome because she doesn't have that bulge, everything will make sense when you get there.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Totally. And she'll be able to walk to the bathroom, and I'll probably put her a little potty, that bigger one, next to our toilet. And I will teach her that that's where we go, and that's where we do it. So, that makes sense, because obviously right now, she can't walk there. So, I'm curious, because I'm pottying her, not in the bathroom at the moment, is that confusing her?
Andrea Olson:
No.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Is that confusing her? And is she going to think, "Well, I go to that room to potty, and now all of a sudden mom wants me to go to that room to potty?"
Andrea Olson:
Absolutely not. No. And just think about it, when we were nomadic, we're wired. We're wired in a certain way. When we were nomadic humans, hunters, gatherers, that kind of thing. They were in a sling, and then when they'd wriggle around, we would hold them over whatever bush we were at. At that age, they don't get conditioned. What they do get conditioned to is diapers when you use them too long after they start walking. And then that's when you can create that repetition and stability of where you want them to go and create that potty place, that special place for them to go, and then you're just going to roll with what happens to. They're going to be like, "No, I don't like this. I like this." And you being a responsive mom will be like, "I get you, all right. Let's roll with it." I mean, you're going to be great. This is the thing I want to tell everybody listening, don't change a thing. Don't fix it, if it ain't broken. You gotta keep going with what's working. And then when your intuition is like, "I feel like something's off." Then that means you just need to make a tweak. And that's when you text me, Melissa, and you tell me" "Hey, what do you think?" And I'll say, "Hey, try this''
Melissa Ambrosini:
And you know what else I also wanted to say is, when she does a poo or a wee in the potty, I will affirm to her what has happened. I'll say, "Oh, you did a poo and a wee in the potty." So there's no, "Good girl." I don't do that sort of thing. We don't say, "good girl," "naughty girl," "bad girl," talk. We've chosen not to do that in our house. So, we don't do "good girl" or things like that. I just say, "You did poo in the potty." And then I might say something like, "That must feel really good doing it in the potty, doesn't it?" I'll say something like that. And then if we have a poo in the diaper and I miss it, I'll say, "Oh, you did poo in your diaper." And then I might say "Oh, I missed catching that one in the potty," or something like that. I just talk to her like she is a human being and I don't dumb things down for her. I speak to her with love and respect and how I would love to be spoken to with love and compassion and respect. And I just don't dumb things down for her. I just speak to her how I would want to be spoken to and affirm to her what she has done. And she knows.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. You're her mirror and you're just honoring her as another human being and that's beautiful. They can understand everything we say. I think from the very beginning, because they've been listening in the womb. And even though they can't talk back or sign back yet, they know. They totally know. And I think everybody listening, I know people who follow me already know that. But it's important if anybody's brand new to this whole idea to just name that, our babies, they are way more capable than we know.
I went to Africa in 2000, I went to Ghana and I danced there. I was into African dance. And, oh man, we brought the rain. It was a magical experience. I was 20 and I didn't think I was ever going to have kids. And I noticed that there were no diapers. I noticed this mom with a brand new newborn on her back just the head's going all crazy. And I'm like, "Is that okay?" And they were walking and talking and sitting earlier, they were happy. There were no tantrums. It was like a bliss kingdom. It was the most amazing intact community, the only one I've ever seen. And there was one guy in a diaper, he was 80, the crazy man in town. And he was walking around in this giant diaper, a cloth diaper. And that was it.
So, it really stuck with me as, how are we coddling our children? There's a movie called Babies where they compare all the different cultures, just visually. And it's just amazing, because that's what I saw there. And I saw... What are babies capable of? And that's why I just want to encourage moms, like, "Well, what are you capable of too? How are you built as a mom already?"
I want to do a couple of quick questions. Give me your quick answers. Kind of like you did at the end of your podcast with me when you had me on. And just give me one sentence for each of these. We're going to go a little quicker on these end ones and then wrap it up. So, how has becoming a mama impacted your work life?
Melissa Ambrosini:
I am super efficient and diligent, and when I get in to do my work, I am laser focused and I just get in there and do it. And like you, I only work when she has her sleep. So, she has two naps a day. And so this is her first nap, which is when I'm doing this. And so, I try to do all of my work in her first nap time.
Andrea Olson:
Oh man, it's amazing how you just rise to the occasion when you have a baby. It's like, "I've got a deadline now." And how has becoming a mama impacted your marriage?
Melissa Ambrosini:
It has brought us so much closer. We are more in love than ever before. It is so beautiful witnessing him be a dad to her. It's just so beautiful. And I think I had a really beautiful home birth with my midwife and doula and no drugs and a very beautiful birth. And he was my hero that day. And he'll tell you that I was his hero, but he was definitely my hero, the way that he rose to that occasion was so inspiring, the way that he showed up for me post-birth was just so inspiring. We did the first 40 days together and literally it was just me, him and her in our house for 40 days. And we had the best time ever. We didn't want it to end because we would just be having such a good time. And yeah, it's definitely changed our marriage so much more in love. And, it also brings other things. You have to be more diligent when you get your alone time and we have to schedule an intimate time and things like that. So you just have to be more diligent with making time for you two as a couple.
Andrea Olson:
Beautiful. And, if there was one thing you could advise new mamas about EC, what would that be? What's the one thing?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Don't be afraid of it. It is the best thing ever. Do not be afraid of it. It is not hard, it doesn't take a lot of time. And as soon as you do it, you will do that face plant emoji with the hand on the face and go, "Oh my gosh, why did I not do this earlier?" Because it's so good. You are empowering the child. You are teaching them that they are an amazing being. You are saving the environment and you're saving your wallet.
Andrea Olson:
Amazing. And what's the one thing you could advise new moms about becoming a new mother. What's your one best thing you can tell them?
Melissa Ambrosini:
I've got two. First one is, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing a great job. And remember that and maybe write, "I'm doing a great job on a post note," and stick it on the bathroom mirror because you are doing a great job and you're an amazing mom and your child's chose you because they wanted all of you. And so, remember that you are doing an amazing job and there's no such thing as perfect. Just keep being you.
And then the second thing is, get a personal trainer and strengthen your back.
Andrea Olson:
Oh man, I love you. What's the one thing you could advise new mamas who are single, like me, about catching a great man like your husband? I know you've talked about this on your podcast. I'm just saying, what's your one thing for those of us who are single out there with babies or God forbid pregnant and single, and going through all that?
Melissa Ambrosini:
Get really clear on the type of partner you want, I think is really important. Get really clear on your core values, and the person that you want to call in, what you would like their core values to be. So if a core value for you is health, and you would love that to be a core value for the partner, that's a deal breaker. Knowing that is really important. Knowing what your core values are and what your deal breakers are. For some people it's religion, they have to be the same religion, for some people it's health, for some people it's money. What do they believe about money? And I talk about this in Open Wide, there's a whole chapter on understanding your core values. And I think the more clear you are on the type of person that you want to align with and share your life with, it helps you weed out any that may come that aren't. I have one of my best friends who is single and she knows who she wants in her life. And this great guy came in, but he ticks all of these boxes, but he's not into health. And that's a really, really strong core value of hers.
Andrea Olson:
Yes. The same thing happened to me this year. Oh my gosh. It was like, "Wait, but this is super important." So then you learn, "Well, actually that's a deal breaker." We have to let go of those people to make room for the one who's right.
Melissa Ambrosini:
100%. And it's not about being rude or mean, it's just going, "Okay, well that's such a strong passion of mine, and it's not something that I can let go of." I don't think I could be with someone who is eating fast food in my house, that's sitting across the table from me and who doesn't value their health and who doesn't move their body and thinks how I live is a joke, those sorts of things. And some people do think the way we are and how healthy we are might be a joke. And understanding what is right for you and what your core values are, are so important, because it helps you get clear on the type of person that you want to call into your life.
Andrea Olson:
I love that. And that's in Open Wide. That's a chapter in there, that you've got that. Oh great. I can't wait to read it. I'm going to have to buy all of Melissa's books, you guys. Let's have a book club. And your one bit of advice for just having a fantastic overall life, because you talk to all sorts of people all the time on your podcast.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Remember that we only get one go at this life. There's no dress rehearsal, there's no take two, there's no second act. We only get one precious life in this body. So you may as well make the most of it. You may as well squeeze the most juice out of every life. You may as well, let things go. Let that conversation that upset you go, let that thing go. Let that go. Get over it. Let go, and have the most fun that you can have.
I treat every day, how people would treat a holiday, or a Saturday. I treat every day like that. I'm like, "What would I do if today was a holiday?" Or "What would I do if today was a Saturday?" I'm like, "I would go to the beach," which I'm going to do as soon as my daughter wakes up. I would eat my lunch at the beach, which I'm going to do. Just treat every day, like it is a holiday or it's summer, the first day of summer or something like that. You only get one go with this. So make the most of it. Let the things go that don't light you up and that upset you. Let them go and just infuse more of the things that do light you up in your life.
Andrea Olson:
Can I just say that that's how I live my life, and it's hard with five kids being alone, but I've been finding ways to do it. The kids were at their dad's this weekend and this happens once a month. And it's like, "Okay, what am I going to do? Friday night?" I had 12 of my girlfriends over, eight of us naked in the hot tub. We knocked all the water out of it. I had to fill it up the next day. That was amazing. We stayed up till midnight, no kids. And then the next day, I decided to have a two hour massage at 7:00 PM. Then I went and got sushi for takeout, sat in my car and ate it and went into this total Country Redneck Bar down the road, because I'm in the Hills here, because I know that people are full of joy and really I love the bartenders. I went in there, had a couple of tequila and danced my booty off to cover country songs. That was two days worth of time. And then I led my dance class and had an ecstatic experience with 20 other human beings and deep connection and love. I mean, that and every time I'm just like, "Thank you, God, because I know I have this precious life and I'm not going to squander it. My kids are here," I'm like, "I'm with you, I'm with you." And when I can't do it and feel like I'm failing, I lay on the ground and just let them cover me up with kisses. Because when I surrender, it's like, "Oh, okay." This balance of, "Can I take advantage of every moment, especially with my kids?" It changes you. It literally makes everything worthwhile. I'm so glad that you said the same. I wish we lived in the same country, oh my goodness.
Melissa Ambrosini:
I know. I want to come to naked jacuzzi times.
Andrea Olson:
I know, right? Hell of a jacuzzi girl night.
Melissa Ambrosini:
My girlfriend's- We went to an island recently, a couple of months ago actually. And we did nudy sunbaking, which was so nice. Me and two of my best girlfriends. And we were just nudy sunbaking, getting the sun on all the bits. It was just delicious and heavenly. Oh my God, that's what life's about, hey?
Andrea Olson:
It is. And what are we investing our time and our money and our spirit and soul into? I'm building a dance deck out here. So I can have more people over here dancing. Like, "What is your dream?" Everybody listening. What is your dream? It doesn't have to be just, "I'm a mom. And I can't do anything else with my life right now". That is not true. Our children need to see us doing things and following our dreams and having a great time because that is how they're going to model their lives after us.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Monkey see, monkey do.
Andrea Olson:
Totally. Absolutely. Now tell me where people can find you and all your books, and all your wisdom, and your podcast.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Thank you. Yes. Head to melissaambrosini.com, that's my website. And on there you will find my podcast, all of my books, all of my programs, my meditations, eBooks, everything. My podcast is called The Melissa Ambrosini Show. And on Instagram, I'm @melissaambrosini. And come and tell me what you got from this episode. Come and DM me. I would absolutely love to hear what you got out of this episode. I just love connecting with new people and love hearing what you get from each conversation. So, please come and introduce yourself to me and share.
Andrea Olson:
Absolutely. You guys, I encourage you to do that right now. Melissa, thank you so much for your time, and especially the precious nap time. I know that's prime time for your work and everything. All the things, all the wisdom you shared with us today, especially about EC, I think you've just inspired a ton of people. Keep in touch with me, DM me anytime, send me a little picture, send me whatever your status is. Or if you have any questions at all, I'm here for you as things transition and you start to work your way out of the baby phase. But yeah, enjoy every wonderful moment. Thank you so much for being here.
Melissa Ambrosini:
Thank you so much for having me and for all of your love and support and for coming on my podcast as well. I'm so grateful and thank you so much for your time.
Thank you. Wasn't that amazing? Melissa, I adore you. Thank you so much for coming on my show and having that long, wonderful, beautiful conversation. Everybody listening, I hope you got so much out of this. I hope you feel inspired, I hope you feel enlivened, I hope you feel happy, I hope you feel the love that is in this world right now. It is amazing. And I hope this also inspires you to take what you learned from me about EC, implement it with your baby, and just enjoy the process. Savor your baby, savor every moment possible. And every time you find yourself just being totally distracted, mommy or daddy, come back to savoring. Come back to the present moment. Come back to your baby, because this time passes so fast. I think that's the highlight from the whole episode.
What do you think? Tell me what you think the highlight was from this episode. Come over to the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/180 and let us know in the comments. I look forward to seeing you guys next time. Thanks so much for tuning in.
Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.
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About Andrea Olson
I'm Andrea and I spend most of my time with my 6 children (all under 10 yo) and the rest of my time teaching other new parents how to do Elimination Communication with their 0-18 month babies. I love what I do and try to make a difference in one baby or parent's life every single day. (And I love, love, love, mango gelato.)
Oh my gosh I love you guys❤️That was so inspiring to hear from you and Melissa not just about EC but about your outlook on life and living it to the fullest as well as letting go of perfectionism. Love listening to your podcast every week, Andrea (I fold all my cloth diaper backups while I listen :) and loved “meeting”Melissa on this episode. Sending love!
Awe, thank you! ❤️