Interview with Melissa Ambrosini about Wholy Mama

EPISODE 211: Interview with Melissa Ambrosini about Wholy Mama

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies - all ECed from birth, all out of diapers by walking.
This is episode 211, Interview with Melissa Ambrosini about Wholy Mama. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/211. Leave a comment, ask a question, and find the links to all the things mentioned in today's show.

Andrea:
Hey you guys. It's Andrea Olson here with the Go Diaper Free podcast, and I am so excited today to be welcoming back for, I want to say this is our third conversation, between both of our podcasts, we've talked a lot. This is Melissa Ambrosini. She is joining us from Australia. She is amazing. We have been in touch over the last couple of years, even while you were pregnant actually, preparing to do EC with her baby and then continuing to troubleshoot with that. And as we all know, the road is definitely curvy, but that is not what we're here to talk about today. We're here to talk about having an empowered pregnancy, well before that, having a conscious conception, empowered pregnancy, an empowered birth, a wonderful postpartum, conscious parenting, all of the things that we all want in our lives. We start out as first-time moms, fifth-time moms.

I'm pregnant with my sixth right now. And anyway, Melissa and I are going to talk a lot about all of these things in this episode. The show notes can be found at godiaperfree.com/211, and we will have links to everything we mentioned in today's show because there is something really cool that we're also here to announce today, as well. But first, I want to introduce you to Melissa. If you haven't seen her before, she's been on my podcast, let me find out the episodes because you guys, these were such great conversations. Episode 180, and let's see, I was on your podcast for two episodes, I believe as well. So the Melissa Ambrosini podcast. If you guys have not listened to that, please check it out. There is so much stuff that's just so much fun, having a juicy life and just really just being in the driver's seat of your life and having a positive, wonderful, fulfilling, joyful experience that I know we all want.

So Melissa's mission is to inspire others to unlock their full potential and live their dream lives with a deep commitment to empowering others to become the best version of themselves. Melissa believes that transformation is possible for everyone. She strives to inspire others to reclaim their power, step into their truth, live with intention, and move in the direction of their dreams. Can I get a hallelujah? So awesome. Welcome to the show, Melissa.

Melissa:
Thank you so much for having me. It's such a treat to be back here with you, and I always love our conversations.

Andrea:
Likewise, I wish we were neighbors. Unfortunately, we're halfway across the world and hemisphere from each other, but someday, someday we will make a rendez vous.

Melissa:
Absolutely. I'm so excited for that day.

Andrea:
Me too. So tell us about your journey to getting pregnant and why you are so passionate about bringing this information to others.

Melissa:
So my journey began in 2013, which is when I met my husband. And before I met him, I had always said I don't want to get married, and I don't want to have kids. And then I met my husband, and I was like, oh my gosh, I want to marry you, and I want to have your babies right now.

Andrea:
I love it.

Melissa:
And people had always said to me, when you know, you know, and I was like, I don't really believe that. And then I met him and I was like, oh, I get it. I know now. And so we got together. I knew he was my one. I just knew straight away. And like I said, I had never thought I would get married. I never thought I would have babies. And then I met him and I was like, let's get married, let's have babies. He proposed to me after two weeks of being together.

And then we were married five and a half months later, and that was 10 years ago. And so my conscious conception journey began the moment that I knew he was my one. And I had that feeling of one day I'm going to have babies with this man. So I began my conscious conception journey then. I began priming and prepping my body and my mind because I knew one day we wanted to make babies, but for me, I knew it wasn't in the immediate future. I just knew later, because I was building my career, I was focusing on that.

But we went and saw a naturopath and we sat down in this naturopath's office who was a mutual friend of ours, not a really, really good friend, but we just knew her. And she was like, oh it's so great that you guys are wanting to have a baby, this is so exciting. How long have you guys been together? And we were like two weeks. And her jaw was on the floor. She thought I was crazy. She was like, Melissa, are you okay? Are you really? You okay? And I'm like, yes, I've just met my one. I just knew. And so we went to and we're like, We want to do all of the tests, let's get our body ready.
And so we began our journey and during that time I read every book that I could get my hands on, I went to workshops, I had piles and piles of pregnancy and birth and parenting books beside my bed. And people would say to me and my friends would say to me, oh, are you guys wanting to have a baby? And I'm like, no, not now. And they're like, you are the most educated non-pregnant woman I've ever met. And I just became obsessed with all things conception, birth, parenting, and pregnancy. I was obsessed. I loved learning about physiological birth and what happens in the body. I loved learning about the hormones that get triggered at different points in labor and how the body moves and how the bones move. I was fascinated. I became obsessed with it and was so curious, always wanting to see my friends' birth videos if they allowed me to. And always wanting to hear birth stories and things like that. And people just thought I was absolutely crazy because it wasn't in my immediate future to have babies, but just one day.

Andrea:
But I have to say you guys, if you're giggling at home, because you know this is you also, I definitely researched a lot. When I found out about EC, I was like, oh, I can now have babies because I don't have to deal with this poopy diaper stuff. So I definitely started four or five years before as well (I didn't even meet my person yet). But I also love how you're educating yourself on physiological birth because that's something I believe should be taught to our daughters and our sons, but mostly our daughters. So you know what's going on in your own body, and you can translate the different sensations as you're going through and really build trust in your body through the knowledge of what is happening physiologically.

And I just want to put in a side for you guys listening, some of you have this sort of side project book that I wrote called Brave New Birth, but it's about how to have an unassisted birth and physiological birth is definitely a huge part of that. “What's the hormone that's doing this right now?” “How is this sensation helping me get this baby out?” All of that stuff should be taught to our daughters starting at a very young age. And I think they should be attending births and they should be around that. Your first birth shouldn't be your first birth, I think. That's just a little thing I wanted to add in there for everybody listening because I'm passionate about the exact same thing. And I think that it's so important that you took the time to educate yourself so I can imagine that erased a lot of the fear. Tell me, what did it do for you, to learn all of that early on?

Melissa:
100% it did that. It’s understanding physiological birth allowed me to trust my body. I went into my birth, and I teach about this in my new program, Wholy Mama, which we'll talk about. But understanding physiological birth allowed me to trust my body and go into my birth feeling empowered, and trusting my body knew exactly what to do. And the thing is, we are all born, women are born to give birth, we are designed to give birth and our bodies can do it. And so I was able to go into my birth, I had a home birth, I was laboring in the pool, I had the blow up pool thing and I was in the pool and I was at home. I had my doula and my midwife and my husband and I had a very empowered, beautiful birth. And I definitely think that understanding physiological birth really helps. And it was such a huge part for me.

And so I studied it from 2013 to... well, I'm still studying it, so it never ends because I'm obsessed with it. But I started studying in 2013 like I was doing a PhD, I'm not even joking. The amount of books and stuff that I've read, and the studies that I've read, and I have a top rated podcast, so I was able to interview the world's best guests on these topics: doctors, scientists, New York Times best sellers. And so I got to pick their brains when it comes to all of these things. And so, I studied it. And then in 2018, October, I woke up one morning, I rolled over to my husband and I said, I'm ready. And he was like, “just like that?” And I said, “just like that”. That maternal switch was flicked on within me and I was ready. And so at that time I was doing a heavy metal detox because I had very high levels of mercury in my system. And you don't want that, which I talk about in the program, this is part of the conscious conception journey.

We decided to wait till January, 2019. January, 2019 comes along, we have the most beautiful sacred ceremony, we pray, we chant, we call on her spirit. We have the most beautiful lovemaking. And I literally thought that I would get pregnant the first time. And I was so shocked that I didn't, I couldn't believe it. I had no fear around falling pregnant. And so when I didn't I was like, “what”? I was so confused. And so then we went again the next month and it didn't happen again. And I was like, what do you mean? I am so healthy, I have been doing prep for seven years, what is going on? And then it didn't happen in the next month, and then it didn't happen the next month, and then it didn't happen the next month, and that went on for 18 months. And every month my heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest.

That yearning to be a mother was so deep within me. And every month it got deeper and deeper, I just so wanted to be a mother, that yearning was so deep. And every month when it didn't happen, my heart would break and I would cry so hard. I felt like I was crying on behalf of humanity, on behalf of every woman who had ever struggled. I felt like that. And looking back, it was very therapeutic. Those cries, those big, deep, ugly cries. It was very healing. But in the moment it was very hard. And I lived my life in two week increments. Two weeks to wait to ovulate or two weeks to either get my period or find out if I was pregnant. And I lived my life in two week increments for 18 months. And I did it silently without sharing anything with social media or even my friends, my practitioners knew, and one friend knew. But I didn't want anyone's opinion. I wanted to go on this journey, on this spiritual journey by myself. And it was really important that I did this on my own.
And all through that time, I was still learning, I was still studying it like a PhD. I was taking notes and I started taking notes in 2013 because Nick said to me, look at how obsessed you are with these topics, look at how much you love them. You're going to write a book on this one day. And I said, yeah, you're right. And so I started taking notes in 2013 of all of the things that I was learning, all the things that I was doing for the body, the mind, and the soul. And now I've put it all into this program, Wholy Mama. Which is broken up into four areas. So conscious conception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum, and then conscious parenting. And I teach on each of those, and then there's a Q&A with me, and then I've brought in the world's best experts, doctors, scientists, university professors, New York Times best sellers to come and teach master classes on those topics as well.

Andrea:
Yeah. And you guys, she has Dr. Sarah Buckley. Sarah's one of my favorites. Sarah's also a proponent of EC and I'm just so excited that you have her, specifically, in this program. And I do want to mention the overlap that you and I both have about physiological birth. If you guys sign up, I am a partner with Melissa on this because I'm so passionate about this new program. I don't have time to do everything in my life that I would like to. And Melissa just so happened to reach out to me a few months ago and was like, hey, I created this program, and this is such a gift you guys, this whole program, Wholy Mama, with a W H O L Y.

So I'm going to give you guys the link and if you sign up with my link and then just send me a copy of your receipt, I'm going to give you my birth book, I swear I wrote it because it was like there is no manual, there is no manual out here at all. How do we do an unassisted birth? I've had two of them, I'm planning an unassisted (birth) with this one. How do we do this? So Brave New Birth, I'm going to give you guys a copy of that and the audiobook and the digital book. So paperback, audio, and digital, when you sign up for Wholy Mama, Melissa's program. It starts soon, it starts November 7th, you have to sign up by November 3rd. So this is the very first time and it is going to be very special. And I can just imagine that as this gains popularity over the months and years, Melissa, that you're probably not going to get Melissa in a future class, you guys. So this is like Q&A's with Melissa and all these other people, are we going to be able to talk to them as well?

Melissa:
There's five of them. Five of the guest experts, if you become a VIP Mama, which is an upgrade, you can submit your questions to Sarah Buckley. Dr. Sarah Buckley.

Andrea:
Sarah Buckley! I saw the VIP list. Yes, that's great. I can only imagine this very first class is going to be - so it's a live eight week course, 12 master classes from different experts. From Ivada, to functional medicine, to postpartum care, to gentle parenting. So we talk about the menu of birth, this is literally all of the things, but only the best things, because this is Melissa we're talking about. So anyway, I want to throw it in and just sweeten the deal a little bit for you guys, because I just hope you sign up. This is going to be so much fun. For those of the people listening right now, some of us have had babies before, some of us have not. I actually have some listeners who are not pregnant, have not had a child yet, who are doing what you did, which is researching ahead of time, which is awesome. We definitely want to be prepared. What does it mean to consciously conceive? What would be your definition of that?

Melissa:
Well, okay, firstly, I just wanted to say if you one day want to have babies, this program is for you. If you are already pregnant, this program is for you. If you have finished having your babies and you want to learn more about conscious parenting, this program is for you. If you have daughters, this program is for you, because it teaches them, even if they're in their early, early twenties or late teens, watch it with them. It teaches you about your hormones and tracking your cycle and loving your body and treating your body with love and respect. All things that I WISH I was taught when I was younger but I wasn't. And you know, I had to have my health taken away from me in my early twenties for me to start taking my health seriously. So wherever you are on this journey, you're going to get so much out of it. And we've already had thousands of people sign up. So I'm really excited about that.

So conscious conception. So conscious conception is when a couple chooses to consciously look at their body, their minds, and even the spirit, when it comes to bringing a baby earth side. So in your conscious conception journey, you want to look at your health, look at your partner's health, you want to look at your thoughts, and your partner's thoughts. And then once you have kind of done that and that is a journey, you are always on that journey. You're always priming. You have to think, as well, in the spiritual sense. And that is that there is a spiritual being that is also part of this puzzle.
So I did all of the body work, I primed my body. I was in tip top shape. I got rid of the mercury out of my system. I healed my gut, I healed my adrenals, I balanced my hormones, I balanced my thyroid. I did so many things because I had a lot of my health taken away from me in my early twenties. Then I looked at my fears, the mindset, the inner mean girl thoughts, all of the fears that came up. And I kept on doing that on my conscious conception journey. And then I also remembered that there's also a spirit, my baby girl, who was also part of this puzzle. And it wasn't just about me and my timeline and when I wanted it to happen, she also had her own timeline, and her own comic journey and she chose to come in when it was also right for her. So it's not just about me and it's not just about her, it's like it's all of us, and my husband and our whole family, because when a baby enters, it shifts the entire dynamic of the family unit.
So conscious conception is about looking at the mind, the body and the spirit and integrating all of those into the journey.

Andrea:
I love that. It's beautiful. I'm carrying a girl, so I'll have three girls and three boys and it's definitely been, I dreamt about her eight years ago. I dreamt about her another couple of years ago. But right before I was about to get a divorce and I was like, whose baby is this that I keep dreaming about? And so it's definitely, I feel like, the intention can be set but then all of the things align and then when it is the right time.

But having that intention and having it be so clear and really preparing the foundation to receive this baby, I think it's such a beautiful, loving gift that you've given your daughter to bring her in that way. What a wonderful welcoming. I can't say that I had the same welcoming when I was born or that many of our listeners did, or maybe you didn't either. But it's definitely something that I think will impact generations and have a ripple effect through her existence, as well. So why do you think there is such a lack of information about not only physiological birth, but also educating our daughters about what's going to happen or how we can do this intentionally? All of this stuff we've already talked about. In our general media and the culture and everything, why is there - well there's too much information and there's also a lack of the right or the good information.

So it's very difficult to curate what we want to ingest, what we want to take in about pregnancy and birth and also parenting, like you said. Your program also covers the beginnings of conscious parenting and how to do that. And we always want to do everything correctly as a new mom, especially a first time mom. But it is so difficult to kind of gather, discern, and then choose. Why do you think this is? Is just the general culture just out to get us, or set us up for failure from the beginning, or not create such empowered free beings that can't be conquered? Or is there just something else? Man, I'm thinking money. I don't know. What do you think about that?

Melissa:
All of the things that you've mentioned, and it's such a shame that this isn't taught in schools. It really is a shame that we're not taught how powerful and beautiful our bodies are, and how to track our cycles, and that you don't get pregnant every day of the month. I didn't know that.

Andrea:
I didn't either in the beginning.

Melissa:
No one told me that, oh you fall pregnant when you're ovulating. No one told me this information. And so it's such a shame that we are not taught how amazing birth is, how amazing our bodies are, about physiological birth. It's such a shame, but, we can teach our children at home, right? So we can teach our children at home. And I think we really prioritized the wrong things in our culture. Some of the wrong things like teaching some of the things that they teach in schools. Why aren't we teaching stuff we actually need, like real life stuff? I want to create my own school one day, this is a big dream of mine and my husband's, is to create our own school, like a conscious school where we just teach the things that they actually need in life.

Andrea:
My friend down the street, they have 120 acres, and they have created a school just like that. The last few years they've been running it and it's so important. It's also about the therapeutic arts because there's so much damage and so much that's been disjointed in our culture that needs healing. So bringing children into schools that actually teach the right things, how to be just self-aware and aware of others and feel interconnected and have a healthy beginning to your life. If you want to talk to her, I'll hook you guys up. You will love her. She's also a trained midwife, she was at one of my births. But yeah, such a need for that beginning of life education and what are we teaching people instead? It's kind of like the movie Wall-E, I don't know if you saw that.
Wall-E is the one where the robot is cleaning up the trash on earth, and all the humans have left and they're all drinking smoothies all day in front of a screen riding around. And they're huge ginormous blobs of people, it's just this really interesting, almost completely accurate depiction of what I feel like they, the greater “they”, is trying to do to us. It's just to get us behind the screen, get us really unhealthy, get us obedient and unaware and complacent so that all the money can be made. Which is also a part of that movie. It's just a cartoon, but it's like, wait a second. And then at the end of that movie, it's lovely that they come back to earth and they start to get healthy and the earth starts to get healthy and they do all this together. Sorry for the extreme tangent, but that feels like what we're being led to do.

And then as parents, or pre-parents, having new babies, we get to change that. We get to change that whole narrative and then our kids, and their kids, and their kids, will be able to benefit from this return to health that we're really setting up for them. And I really believe that the Wholy Mama program is a huge part of that. The way we come in, is it really literally determines the fate of the world. No pressure everybody, but it really does make a huge difference. And I think that we can have more impact on that than we know. And I want to know, out of all of the people, I see why you're so passionate about this. Because I am so aligned with you. I knew there were levels of depth to how we're connected.
Which is your favorite contributor to this whole program. Cause you guys, when you go check out, I'm going to go ahead and give you the link, it's godiaperfree.com/wholymama. That's W H O L Y M A M A. And again, that'll be in the show notes, godiaperfree.com/211. So just remember 211, and just go there and you'll be able to click straight through. When you get to the page that explains the program, there are all these faces that you might have seen before. I want to know which one Melissa's favorite is and why.

Melissa:
Oh babe, I can't.

Andrea:
Can you not pick one?

Melissa:
No way. I can't because that's why they're in there because they're all my favorites. And there was so many more that I wanted to put in, too. And maybe next round I'll put more in, but I can't choose. There's so many. And when I was doing the master classes, I was just like, my mind was blown. These people are the best of the best, in their field and in that area. And I'm just like, it's too hard to choose. There's so many good ones. And when I teach on conscious parenting and in the postpartum section I talk about EC, so you get a mention. So don't you worry about that.

Andrea:
You know what? I know you, I know can't help but mention it. It's great. I think it's all connected. And I do believe that what we do here at Go Diaper Free, has a similar impact, no matter what it ends up looking like or no matter what journey you guys are on listening with EC, it's all about connecting on a deeper, more primal level with our babies. And yes, we're adapting to modern lifestyle and yes, life happens and we're busy movers and shakers and we just get what we get.

But it's all happening for us, not to us. So whenever anything happens with EC or happens with birth or happens with pregnancy, it is all such a wonderful learning experience where we can be humbled and really connect with what's most important for us and our babies, right? It's so awesome that we get this opportunity to do this.

Melissa:
I know, I know. It's so beautiful.

Andrea:
And now what is the one thing that you learned during all of your research, this is my last question for you, cause I know you have a baby waking up or who might already be waking up. Cause I'm like, I know, the sixth baby. I'm like, yeah, I get it, okay.

I'm going to wrap it up here. What is the thing that surprised you the most that you learned when you were pregnant?

Melissa:
There were so many things, so many things. And I share them all in the program. I share the best of the best. However, something really big that... Oh, I mean there's so many things. There's so many things. But the first thing that came to me was this understanding of matrescence, right? Have you heard of that term?

Andrea:
I have from wapio, who teaches midwifery here, but I can't for the life of me remember what it means.

Melissa:
Okay. So matrescence is the term that refers to the experience that the mother goes from maiden to mother. So it's that journey, that is matrescence. Think of it like adolescence, child to adult, that transition. Matrescence made into mother, that transition. And the same sorts of things happen like adolescence, your hormones are changing, your brain is changing. Same in matrescence, your hormones are changing, your brain is changing.

Yet society doesn't even talk about matrescence. And we excuse adolescence and we allow them to, oh, you know that, oh, they're just a kid, they're just going through adolescence. We excuse that, yet there's no support around matrescence. There's no support. And this has to shift. And for me, understanding what is happening on a physiological level inside the body, the brain, and your hormones when you go from maiden to mother, helped me so much. And I feel like it was a bit of a softer landing for coming into motherhood. So that really helped me. And we talk about matrescence in the program. I've got a masterclass in the program with a matrescence expert, and that is really cool.

And again, why wasn't I taught that in school? Why are they not teaching you about this time in your life where you'll get your period, and then you'll go through matrescence, and then you'll go through menopause. Why aren't they teaching us these things? I know nothing about menopause. Like nothing. I only know little bits from people that I've interviewed and that's not the phase that I'm in my life right now. And I'm sure I'll study it like I'm doing a PhD when that time comes for me, that's my personality. And I'll probably do a program on it, I’m sure.
But these are the things that we need to talk about. And truly what is a Wholy Mama? A Wholy Mama is an empowered woman, a woman who integrates the body, the mind, and the spirit into everything that she does. And I truly believe that if I want to create Wholy Mamas all over the world, because when we have Wholy Mamas, they will feel empowered in their birth and then they will go into parenting feeling empowered, and then they're going to raise empowered babies.

And that's what I want to help do in this world because most people go into birth with a lot of fear. They have very traumatic, horrific experiences. And then that is their introduction to parenting. And that is not the introduction that we deserve. We deserve to feel empowered in that very sacred and special moment when our baby is born, when we are born as well. And that's what I really want to help do. And that's what the program really focuses on, is helping women feel empowered in every stage. In their conception, in their pregnancy, in their birthing, in their postpartum, and in their parenting. Because when we have empowered women, they raise empowered children and we change the world.

Andrea:
Absolutely. Yay. Can we get a round of applause here? You're speaking my language. More sovereign beings on the planet is definitely what we need in order to keep us all joyful, happy, healthy, and living our free, wonderful life because that is what we deserve, all of us, and so much healing for the whole planet through this program.
So it's a live eight week course, you guys, it starts on November 7th, registration ends November 3rd or 4th?

Melissa:
November 3rd for America, the 4th for Australians.

Andrea:
That's what that was. Okay, great. And we've got live Q&A’s from five of those doctors, if you're VIP there as well. The modules are conscious conception, radiant pregnancy, empowered birthing and postpartum, and conscious parenting. And wow, what a huge gift that you've just given everyone. If you guys don't know, Melissa's also written several books that I'll link to in the show notes as well, especially Mastering Your Mean Girl. Loved reading about how you and your husband met in that, because my fiance and I have a similar whirlwind and it just is right. And third times a charm for me, we're not always as lucky the first time, but I definitely recognize myself in your story.

So if you guys want to pick up Melissa's book, she's got so much, definitely the podcast. But if this is calling to you about healing this whole child rearing period of our time, our lives. So the childbirth cycle that starts well before we even have a baby in our arms, I want to encourage you to check out the program, go to godiaperfree.com/wholymama, W H O L Y M A M A. You can message me, message Melissa's team, if you have any questions at all before that time. But that'll send you the page where you can learn about all the awesomeness here. And especially if you're just pregnant with your first, or you've just had your first and you want to have more. Maybe you don't want to have six like I'm about to have, but you want to have at least another one. This is like gold.
I mean, it took me also five years of research to put into the unassisted birth book that I wrote and really just putting together pieces with each birth that I had. All of the experts in this program combined, all of their knowledge, can make things a lot easier, a lot more straightforward and a lot more satisfying. It just feels like there's just this loving group of hands that can hold you and help guide you through this experience. Especially if you've had a traumatic experience the first time around. This is such a chance to heal. I'm so excited for your program, Melissa. I cannot wait to see it unveiled and also to like, oh, I really want to ask Sarah some questions. So I can't wait to do all of that and I can't wait for all of my audience members who choose to join as well to join you in this journey.

This is so wonderful. Thank you for this gift. And anything else you want to share about that or do we cover pretty much what you wanted to?

Melissa:
Yeah, this has been perfect. Thank you. I want to read your book, as well, so I'm going to get a copy of that. Thank you.

Andrea:
Absolutely!

Melissa:
I'm excited to read that because like I said, I will be learning about these topics, I'm sure, for the rest of my life because I'm obsessed with it. I love it. And I just want to remind everyone before we go that it's your birthright and you are worthy of feeling empowered in your conception, in your pregnancy, in your birthing, and in parenting. It is your birthright and you are worthy of it. And I wish every single woman to feel empowered on every step of the journey on this motherhood journey because it's what we deserve and what we're worthy of.

Melissa:
Beautifully said. Thank you so much, Melissa. You guys, thank you for listening. This is Andrea with Go Diaper Free podcast and I can't wait to see you next time.

What did you think of the interview with Melissa? Join the conversation on the blog & head over to godiaperfree.com/211, and I'll see you there.
Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.