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“Help! We have complete resistance!” (part 2)

girl-throwing-tantrum-crying-on-floor-complete-potty-resistance

Everything was going just great – what’s up with the sudden resistance? Today I share part 2 of the “what, how and why” of sudden EC resistance, and how you can interpret and respond to it like a parenting pro. you can interpret and respond to it like a parenting pro.

 

You Will Hear:

  • How to stop doing the one thing that will botch your success
  • At what age you SHOULD have (!) stopped using diapers, and why it’s so difficult at 18 months old
  • What to stop doing today (and never do again)
  • A little more about mommy guilt and why it’s so important to do the hard thing, today, instead of putting it off for tomorrow
  • How to wrap up elimination communication with a potty training experience (and why this is crucial to the two mamas featured on today’s show!).

 

Links and other resources mentioned today:

Watch the Video Version

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource Recommendation

Go Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
  • Subscribe on iTunes
  • Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

 

Have you experienced sudden resistance with EC? What worked for you?

I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

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Andrea Olson

About Andrea Olson

I'm Andrea and I spend most of my time with my 6 children (all under 12 yo) and the rest of my time teaching other new parents how to do Elimination Communication with their 0-18 month babies. I love what I do and try to make a difference in one baby or parent's life every single day. (And I love, love, love, mango gelato.)

7 Comments

  1. Avatar Michaela on November 17, 2022 at 2:50 pm

    Hi Andrea, thanks for this episode.
    As you said multiple times in this episode how important it is to get out of nappies at walking, I would appreciate if you could make something specifically for what to do with early walkers who are not quite ready for independence, (eg. Remove own pants, sit down on potty) or to use expressive language to tell when they need to go, but also are aware of the difference between nappies and training pants. I’m trying to keep my daughter out of nappies, but I’m finding when we have lots of wets, I start to use them and I’m concerned that this is confusing for her.

    My daughter is almost 12 months, she’s been walking since 10.5 and out of daytime nappies since 11, it goes really well during the mornings when I’m at playgroups with her and able to pay more attention to her, and also I believe she holds it better when occupied. The problem is in the mornings and evenings when we’re at home, I really struggle with lots of wets as sometimes I have to be doing chores or looking after myself, and I also believe it’s important for children to engage in independent play without an adult breathing down their neck.

    The number of wets in the mornings and evenings is a problem because even with tiny trainers, there’s still sometimes a little dribble on the floor, we live in a carpeted house and it’s often difficult to tell where she went and whether or not any got on the floor, not to mention, it’s getting tiring changing her all the time.

    She sometimes signals by going to the toilet or potty, and if I don’t get there in time, she will pee next to the toilet while playing with it. Other times there seems to be no signal at all, and it’s almost as if she doesn’t know. She’s always been in cloth nappies when she was, and used to signal much better as a crawling baby.

    She’s learning two languages and a bit of sign, she can do two signs but neither of them is toilet, and I feel that she’s still a way off saying her first oral word as I’ve read that 14-15 months is often normal for bilingual kids. I’m feeling like it would be hard to wait that long or possibly longer until she can get better at telling me when she needs to go, but I definitely know there’s a huge difference for both of us when she’s wearing nappies so I don’t want to be using them.

    Is there something I’m missing? Any tips?

    • Andrea Olson Andrea Olson on November 20, 2022 at 11:03 pm

      Wow! You go momma! Having baby learn a sign for toilet or potty would be super helpful in improving misses. Doing a reset with some naked observation can help solidify that mind body connection, also trying to learn her rhythms could be helpful, since it sounds like she has a fairly set schedule, I would recommend logging the times when she tends to go most often. For example, she eats and x time and tends to pee x amount of hours later, this could help you tremendously in getting more catches. You are doing great! EC is a non linear journey, and there is so much that can affect our littles, from developmental milestones to life changes. In the end, you are helping your little be nappy free and a great communicator!

      • Avatar Dee on November 22, 2022 at 8:08 am

        Hi Andrea,

        I have a 7 month old that is resisting the potty now and seems to be holding his poo longer than he needs to. It started when we started weaning unto solids. We tried different places; toilet, on the potty on floor, potty in bed, etc. He didn’t go for 2 days and when he finally went the texture was a bit different. Not runny watery poo, initial were more solid and then pasty then watery and quite a lot came out once he started going. ! He’s now also resisting weaning so I’m mostly breastfeeding but now he resists pooing in the potty. He’s happy to do wee on potty still. Another 2 days go and he needs to poo & again resistance. I’ve also tried to let him go in the nappy but he also refused to go in the there. When he finally went I noticed the poo was still quite runny and a little pasty but much easier than the first time. Now we seem to be having a trend on 2-3 days, resistance on potty though I know he wants to go, sometime seven a little slips out in the nappy to confirm that he needs to. I’ve given him baths to help him to relax his bum muscles but I’m just unsure as to what I need to do to reset so he’s back to being happy to go in the potty again. I’ve also tried toilet, sink etc. He still resists pooing but happy to wee wherever. He’s now 7 months and crawling but now beginning to pull himself up into standing position whenever he can. I’m still mostly breastfeeding offering little morsels of food that he’s happy to have. Any suggestions appreciated. Thank you.

        • Andrea Olson Andrea Olson on November 28, 2022 at 8:05 pm

          First off you are doing great! Your little one is going through several developmental milestones so a little resistance is to be anticipated. The more breastmilk he takes the looser his bowl movements will be and the easier it may be for him to go. You got this mama!

    • Avatar Nikoleta E Petrova on December 19, 2022 at 5:44 pm

      Hello! I had a similar experience at 12 mo. Baby is learning two languages, rarely signals. We EC”d since 6mo old… by 12mo he’d finally sit patiently on the potty, so I thought that was a victory! I loved it.

      (Not having to play like a clown, use youtube, show him strange household items, sing or make faces in the mirror to distract him for long enough to pee)

      He’ stopped having misses at Home since 17 1/2 mo

      He started daycare at 15 months though….so I EC’d part time and started using undies in the evening at 15 months for one-hours, then longer. There were a lot of wet pants some days. And I let him go commando – just pants, for a few weeks, just at home. By 17mo. we had very few misses…. I did potty him in the bushes outside when we took walks. To entertain him… and I think he liked that. He’d play with the leaves and I think misses went down. after we did outings and peed in the bushes lol…his father was pretty embarrassed though.

      The more we went out and attempted to potty in public restrooms between 17-20 months the less misses we had.

      By 20 months I stopped using diapers for outings and nighttime. (I put him on the pot once at night now at 11pm or 12am usually. Sometimes at 6am)

      I did give up on Expecting a signal, or a word, which is my current dilemma – but I continue to use the Que and the sign. (He does grab his crotch or point or walk over to the bathroom sometimes. Especially if he needs to poop. Usually, he’s busy playing…. very active toddler here.)

      So I used diapers and undies interchangeably until 20 months and enjoyed not having to wipe a dirty mess….. continue showing her the potty and she will get there! No rush!

      Best of luck!

  2. Avatar Gift on September 27, 2023 at 8:22 am

    Hi,

    My baby is 9 months old and we have been using cloth nappies and EC since she was 3 months old, on and off. at night we are using disposable diapers.

    She has started to stand without support for a little bit.
    Should I completely keep her out of diapers during the day time now or is it quite early to do that? I have been trying to keep her diaper-free since past few days but she cries a lot sometimes after coming from the toilet or sometimes even going to the toilet.

    Please assist

    • Andrea Olson Andrea Olson on October 2, 2023 at 12:12 pm

      Hi! It’s never too early to go completely diaper free, every baby is different and some are quite reliable very early on, while others become more reliable as they get a little bit older. As for her crying, I would start with a few basics. For example: is she constipated, is she gassy, does she need a distraction like a book or a toy to help her relax and go. I know it’s hard but you got this momma!

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