How to tell a brand new mom about elimination communication (Without feeling pushy)
Hi! This episode is sponsored by the Go Diaper Free certified Coach Training Program. I'll mention it at the end of the episode as well, but I am hosting a live webinar on February 24th, 2021 at 2:00 PM Eastern.
If you hear this show before then, please join us at godiaperfree.com/coachclass; and if you don't hear this before then, we will probably have some webinars up there (same link). Join us live on that day or join us for another date. You're going to learn more about how to tell people about EC and maybe earn some extra income on the side, if you’d like to. More importantly, how to literally change the world by becoming one of our amazing certified coaches. You can learn more about the coach program at godiaperfree.com/coachprogram.
If you are here and you already know about EC, awesome. Please share this episode, number 129, with your brand new mama friends who don't know about EC.
In today’s episode, I'm going to teach you how to talk about Elimination Communication. I'm going to model it by sharing how I tell new moms about EC. But if you still don't feel confident after listening to this, then just send your friends directly to this podcast.
Now, if you've been sent here by a friend, new mamas, first of all, congratulations on your new baby. I've had five babies over the course of eight years. I know it's exhausting. Hang in there.
Secondly, I'm really thrilled that you're here.
Please enjoy this “public service announcement.” It's a little PSA from yours truly:
100% of parents who start EC later or miss the boat entirely tell me that they wish they would have heard about EC sooner and started sooner.
EC starts early because it's easier that way, because it's dependent on babies' inborn instincts. They're born this way.
If you are here early, sweet. If not, but you're still within the sweet spot of 0 to 18 months, please listen and learn during the show today. It is all EC at this stage of the game.
If you have a toddler over 18 months old, probably don't need to sit here and listen to this one today. Just grab my non-coercive Potty Training book and skip EC (but maybe do it with your next baby).
What I Say to New Moms About Elimination Communication
And for all you new moms who are listening to this episode today, this is what I have to say to you:
Hey, new mom! To welcome your baby and celebrate your becoming a new mom, I want to give you the gift of knowing your options when it comes to three years of diapers and frustrating potty training, which is the destiny, unfortunately, in this day and age, for 99.9% of people.
We believe and practice this thing called Elimination Communication. It's a mouthful, so we just call it EC, which is basically what all humans have done for 99.99999% of human history:
they potty their babies from birth.
EC works because babies are perfectly made, like all mammals, to prefer good hygiene. It's kind of like crate training a puppy. Babies do not prefer to go in their diapers just as much as a pup does not prefer to go in their bed, and actually will resist doing so.
Just think about this for a second, new mama:
Your baby cries, and cries, and cries, and you try everything under the sun to soothe him or her. And then you finally check the diaper and you say, “Oh, you were wet. That's why you were telling me. That's why you were crying.”
But...your baby wasn’t crying because she wanted you to change the diaper. If you rewind just a second, she actually wanted you to take that diaper off so that she could go hygienically.
Yes, it's true.
Think about how far the human species would have come if babies were pooping and peeing all over the cave.
Without any kind of diaper backup at all, just going everywhere, wherever (because they didn't have diapers back then). I will tell you that we wouldn't have made it that far, and neither would any mammal.
Your baby is born with these amazing instincts and it's very, very easy to start EC early on.
Now, before you say “OMG, I'm already overwhelmed,” hear me out.
All you gotta do is change your perspective from “this diaper is a toilet” to “this diaper is now a backup for when we miss each other or we're not doing EC,” maybe we're just doing it part-time. And that's it.
You just have to shift your perspective. Diaper is a backup until we can get some success in that potty.
So Many Benefits of Elimination Communication
EC is an exposure technique and, besides breastfeeding, EC is the number one thing you can do to give your baby the best start in this world...and to save money. My goodness, a lot of money. I've probably saved at least $15,000 in diaper expenses.
And it's the number one thing you can do to increase your connection with your baby. All the EC mamas and daddies I know say, "Wow, we have a much deeper connection."
And you can also enhance the opportunity for earlier mobility and communication, and things just being less fussy being in general, and EC is the number one thing you can do to save the earth (we will be talking about that in an episode or two).
Elimination Communication can cut your diaper expense by up to 75%.
You heard me right. You would use diapers for roughly one to one and a half years instead of three to four years.
EC can also help you completely avoid potty training, which is an unnatural process where no one wins - except the diaper companies. They win. They definitely win to the tune of billions of dollars.
I haven't had to potty train any of my babies and I also run two businesses. It's totally easy to do this part-time - just the morning pees or just the poops only - as well if you have to go back to work.
I mean the only person that benefits is the diaper companies if you don't do any EC and you just delay potty training.
So just think about that.
Again, Elimination Communication is not all or nothing - you can do it part time.
4 Quick Tips to Try Out Elimination Communication Today
Here are some quick tips, new mom. I want to give you some ideas so you can try it out today.
And if you find that you like EC after trying out these few tips, please grab my book. I also highly recommend a top hat potty - it's going to make newborn EC way easier. It's this potty that basically you squeeze between your legs and you hold your baby over it. It's awesome.
Try these experiments first and see if you like EC, and if you do - usually one catch and you're hooked, got to warn you - if you do, then come back for some more resources.
Here are some dip-your-foot-in experiments:
1. When your baby wakes up, hold your baby over the sink, the top hat potty, the toilet, or a waterproof pad, and say “psss” like the sound of running water, or “mm-mm,” grunting. You might catch a pee because of hormones (ADH wears off), and because you pee then too, right? Everybody pees when they wake up.
You’ll be holding your baby in the Classic EC Position, which is gently under the thighs, their back is leaning up against your torso safely and comfortably, and you're supporting their wobbly head and neck with your chest. They're basically in a deep squat, which is how we go best.
So here's another dip your foot in experiment. Ready?
2. When you see your baby smile but you know that it's not really a smile, it's actually that poop face, or you hear a toot and you see your baby bearing down and pushing, gently say wait and hold her over a receptacle in that EC position, and grunt. You may catch a poop.
And honestly, if you know your baby's pooping already, why would you wait for him to fill up the diaper and then change it later? Just hold him over something. You'll be amazed.
Babies can be poop trained within days of being born.
3. Since babies often hold it in a diaper, when you change your baby's next diaper, offer the potty, same as I've just described. If they don't go the first time, that's fine. But if you offer every time you change their diaper, they're probably going to start holding it. A lot of the time you open their diaper and they're dry anyway, so might as well get that in the potty.
4. After nursing, when your baby first fusses, offer the potty as I've already explained. First fuss after feeding, offer and be amazed. That's actually a signal, that first fuss. And we’re talking nursing or bottle-feeding - I understand that we do all sorts of things in our Go Diaper Free community.
3 Potty Training Options, from Birth
Over the lifespan of your baby in the diapering years, you have three options:
1. You can do EC from anywhere in 0 to 18 months. You can start anytime. Earlier is better. For EC, you'd use my book, Go Diaper Free.
2. You can do early potty training at 17 or 18 months, and for that, you would use something like my book The Tiny Potty Training Book.
3. Your third option is to potty train at 3 or 4 years old like everybody will tell you to do and to use full-time diapers until then. (At this time you can also use my potty training book, but it won’t be as easy as it will be at 17 or 18 months of age.)
So those are your three choices in the whole spectrum of what's ahead with diapers. It is 100% your choice and any amount of EC helps.
So even if you just want to do a little bit, maybe once a day, elimination communication is an exposure technique and it's highly respectful to your baby. It's not all or nothing, you can do it part time, you can do it with a diaper or without one.
Most people do it with a diaper as a backup. It's super chill and it's a really smart move to give your baby this awesome start.
Also, I have to say that EC can totally transform your new mama experience. If you're feeling a little bit frazzled and a little bit like you don't know what the heck you're doing, and things are “messy and fussy,” EC can move you to “clean and enjoyable.”
Prioritize it. Your baby deserves the best start, try it out, dip your feet in.
We also want to give our babies the gift of a wonderfully healthy planet by not stuffing tons of excessive diapers into it, if any. We do cloth diapering a lot in the EC community and we also use compostables like DYPER.
Pottying your baby is something to prioritize just like breastfeeding or expressing, pumping, if you can, if you're able to do that, just like babywearing, co-sleeping, stuff like that. All helpful.
EC, I would say, is a game changer. It's going to change your whole experience. It's easier than full-time diapering, offering the potty versus cleaning endless blowouts, and your new mom confidence is going to multiply like little bunnies.
So give it a go and let me know if you have any questions, all right?
And PS: no pressure. You can totally not do EC if you dip your foot in and it just doesn't work for you. I would then recommend that you potty train early, at 17 or 18 months. It's really easier then. You skip the “no! phase” of 2, 3 years old and up.
I currently have an almost 4 year old and a 2 year old who should technically both still be in diapers, statistically. I can't imagine trying to teach them to do anything that I want them to do. They are very, very, very independent.
And remember - pre-1950s, everybody potty trained when their baby was starting to walk and wrapped it all up by 18 months. You’ve totally got this, Mama.
And, again, congratulations on your new baby!
Please leave a comment below:
What are you going to do to start EC today?
And then if you're here because you're learning by my example of what I just shared with you about what to say to new mamas:
What are you going to tell your new mama friend about EC? Are you going to be brave and bring it up? Are you going to use one of the ideas that I shared with you today by modeling this for your friends?
Let me know in the comments below.
PS - Again, this podcast is for two audiences, and I love bringing people together in this way. Again this episode is sponsored by our Go Diaper Free certified Coach Training Program. I'm hosting a live webinar on February 24th, 2021 at 2:00 PM Eastern time. I will have more classes after that, so register for my free class most any time at that link.
PPS - here’s the video version of this episode in case you prefer to YouTube it. ;)
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