How to have an undisturbed, and maybe even unassisted, birth: Freebirth explained
Disclaimer: The contents on our website are for informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition, replace the advice of a healthcare professional, or provide any medical device, diagnosis, or treatment.
Across my 5 babies, I’ve had 2 unassisted births, 3 homebirths, and 2 quick hospital births. By far, my most enjoyable and satisfying births have been the freebirths! (See the full stories of my births on these podcast episodes: Episode 16: My Birth Story: An Almost Unassisted Birth – this one’s a good one, on the blog: My Unassisted Birth, and Episode 50: The unassisted waterbirth of our 5th baby: Full Birth Story.)
For my 5th and final baby, I’d hired a midwife because my husband and I were separated at the time. It was rocky and I wanted support.
But she ended up quitting, via text, because she “didn’t want to drive an hour to an appointment” where I didn’t really see her as the one in charge...5 days before my duedate.
You see, we’d agreed that she would help me have an undisturbed birth, one where she sat quietly somewhere in the house and would be there in case I needed something, because I didn’t know whether my husband would be at the birth or not.
She agreed on the surface, but perhaps deep down it really didn’t resonate.
But bigger than that, once I worked through a lot of anger, resentment, and feelings of sisterly betrayal, I realized something huge:
The Universe wants me to have this baby unassisted.
Then I remembered, “Hey! I’ve already written the how-to-have-a-freebirth manual, for goodness’ sake! I’m gonna study up.”
And I pulled out the manuscript for Brave New Birth, which I’d been working on for the past 5 years, and began to refresh myself.
I also refreshed my husband (who was now back in the picture) with the “cliffs notes” version over the next few days - like, these are the red flags, these are reasons to transfer, otherwise don’t let me convince you to take me to the hospital like I did with #2 and #4, and so on.
I mostly absorbed these nuggets I found written in the “How To” section of my book:
- Practice focused relaxation during contractions.
- Do not hyper-focus on every little new sensation.
- Detach your mind from what your body is doing to get out of its way.
- If your body feels better when you do x, do x.
- If your body feels worse when you do y, stop doing y.
- Ensure that your physical environment and people environment provide privacy,
- freedom, and support when/if needed. Plan ahead and protect the space.
- Do not hurry - let nature take her course.
So in today’s show I’d like to tell you about unassisted childbirth, and also introduce my brand new book, which is finally available at bravenewbirth.com.
We will also cover the 9 core principles of an unassisted birth, so we’re all on the same page.
First, what is the definition of unassisted birth, freebirth, undisturbed birth? (from my book:)
Any birth where the mother and baby are free to birth by instinct and are given the privacy and safety necessary for the body and baby to birth themselves, without interference, intervention, or being watched/measured/observed.
(This privacy can be as simple as a towel over one’s face to tune out the room, or it can mean being completely alone.)
This definition allows so many wonderful interpretations. It allows us to retain the option of having someone present our birth and to still proceed with it in an undisturbed, unassisted, and self-directed manner – like having a midwife over who simply knits in the corner, or giving birth at a natural birth center where everyone has agreed to provide full privacy to the mother during labor.
In my research, I haven’t found that unassisted birth is exclusive to being “without a caregiver, at home” – although it often happens this way. For me, it was the lack of a hands-on, hired birth professional (an OB or a midwife) managing my labor that identified my births as “unassisted” – one birth included my husband and my friend, and one included just my husband.
Now that we know what freebirth is, let’s next talk about whether you’re cut out for this type of birth, to DIY labor and childbirth.
Generally, if you don’t have a preexisting health condition, or a pregnancy-related health condition, and you are interested in having this type of birth, great! Your body was made to do this.
From my book:
A woman, “aged twenty-two, who had had three deliveries, previously, had an accident which caused complete paraplegia below the level of the sixth dorsal vertebra. She had fallen fifteen feet through a trap door, holding a baby in her arms. She was one hundred and ninety-six days pregnant. The accident resulted in complete…motor paralysis. (Absolute paralysis, both motor and sensory.) Sixty-four days later she came into labour and had a child weighing 5lb 12.5oz. During the first stage the patient was quite unaware of what was going on, feeling no pain whatever.
At the end of the first stage, the contractions were strong and prolonged, with small weak ones in between them; there was no pain or discomfort.
Second Stage. Contractions every two minutes lasting forty-five seconds approximately; strong and useful; head descended well. She then stated she was conscious of a tight feeling, not painful, but which restricted her breathing.
About one and a half hours later contractions were strong, and there were more signs of distress in the patient. She complained of no pain and only experienced a feeling of tightness at the epigastrium. She held her breath involuntarily and cried out on expiration. The crying out was especially evident as the occiput emerged from under the pubic arch.
These reactions to the late second-stage contractions occurred in the absence of any pain or discomfort. Can it be correct, therefore, to assume that such reactions…indicate pain or discomfort?”
-Grantly Dick-Read, Childbirth Without Fear
Third: if you’re not interested in having an unassisted birth, no worries - you can strive for an “undisturbed,” autonomous birth by setting up the right caregiver, environment, and state of mind.
You can request that your midwife, doula, nurses, OB/GYN not disturb the process, not monitor or check you unless you request, and limit the number of people in the room at any given time. You can have the lights turned down, music on, safety and privacy in any way you feel most inclined.
Just like having a bowel movement, it is HARD and UNNATURAL to give birth in front of a room full of people, or even a single person at all. The sphincters simply operate better the less people in the room.
Fourth, how do we manage our own prenatal care? What do we outsource and what do we do ourselves?
My new book outlines all of this and explains the testing, the options, the full menu of prenatal care, including how to do a self-check at home.
The fifth, and most important, thing is to learn about basic birth biology and the flow of birth. Knowledge is power, and with this knowledge comes freedom.
For ANY type of natural birth, you’ll want to learn about the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle (in other words, relaxing in order to avoid pain in the first place), what certain sensations mean is going on in your labor, the flow of the birth process (and how not to disturb it), what the muscles and hormones are doing and when, and how the birth canal works.
Trust me, all this biology information is ESSENTIAL and is not taught in schools...this knowledge can FREE you from unnecessary pain, transfer, and self-doubt. Knowing your body and this natural process happen with or without you, and what this or that sensation means, is KEY to an autonomous, fulfilling birth - again, with or without a caregiver!
Sixth, here are the 9 core principles I mentioned earlier that will be helpful to internalize:
WE ARE MAMMALS
BIRTH SHOULDN’T HURT
PRIVACY IS EVERYTHING
EVERY BODY SENSATION HAS A PURPOSE
EVERY LABOR IS UNIQUE
EDUCATION IS YOUR ALLY
MOST LABORS ARE NORMAL, MOST EMERGENCIES ARE CLEAR
THE CAREGIVING NETWORK CAN BE YOUR ALLY
HOMEOSTASIS RULES
7th, did you know there are only 4 reasons to transfer to the hospital during labor? Each needs attention within 15 minutes, so if you live near a hospital, that might ease your mind, just in case.
You can download my handout “The 4 Red Flags of Labor” below:
And there are a handful of what we call “variations from normal” that, if given some time and space, changing positions, etc, will typically normalize on their own - these are not emergencies. A chart outlining all of these variations comes with my book as well.
Last, I just want to remind you that you can apply any of these unassisted birth aspects to your unique labor, at home or in hospital, planned or emergency, with or without a caregiver.
Privacy, a true knowledge of what certain bodily sensations mean, and making sure no one disturbs the process are ALL possible in any environment, you just need to use discernment ahead of time, know your medical rights, and assert yourself.
If you’d like to learn more, please pick up my new book, Brave New Birth, at bravenewbirth.com. There’s also an audiobook version, an immersion course, one-on-one support, Birth Pods around the world and online, and a podcast forthcoming!
Now I’d like to hear from you:
Are you considering a freebirth? Will you perhaps apply some of what’s in the new book to your upcoming birth?
I look forward to speaking with you in the comments below!
xx Andrea
PS - here’s the video version of this episode in case you prefer to YouTube it. ;)
I’d love to watch a full documented series about how birth and baby rearing looks like around the world. Reclaim some of this tribal knowledge
P.S. I really want to order this book but something isn’t working in the website…
Hi Andrea, I’ve been following your EC advice for a long time and found it to be amazing and helpful, and I’m successfully using it with my third child (a son).
However I have some genuine concerns about you advising people on how to have an unassisted home birth. I don’t mean to be rude or cause controversy, but have you ever gained any qualifications in childbirth or maternal care?
Advising people on something so innately important with an implied degree of professionalism and authority is at best misleading, and at worst dangerous.
I have had 3 births, all of which were at hospital. I planned ahead for a very natural birth with all of them, but with only one, my second, did this eventuate, and this in a hospital setting. My other two births were life threatening for both my baby and me, and had we been unattended, and had no monitoring whatsoever, I would only have one daughter to hold at night, if indeed I would be sitting here sending you this heartfelt caution.
Now I have clearly got very personal reasons for being pro qualified support person. However, I think you really need to consider that your advice is taken very literally by thousands of people, and could in fact endanger life. If you have qualifications that support your position then by all means please make them more apparent on this opening page.
But please, please do not gamble with people’s lives based upon your own personal experience. It provides you with only a very small sample size of evidence, and is not a view held by the vast majority of qualified, caring professionals who have made maternal and infant care their life’s work.
I too believe that childbirth is completely natural and can be a beautiful, safe thing. However emergencies arise with little to no warning, and to suggest that in the majority of these cases there is at least a 15 minute warning is simply false.
A baby’s heart rate suddenly dropping to a critical level, a cord prolapse, a uterine haemorrhage, these are just a handful of examples that are not uncommon, and are life threatening in very few precious minutes.
I am 100% in support of a woman’s right to choose to birth at home, even alone in a room if she wants. But not without a professional person on standby who is capable of saving or prolonging life until additional medical care can be reached.
You are genuinely opening a huge topic of debate, that I’m not sure you really want to have linked to your EC advice. It is not professional, nor is it ethical to put yourself in a position where you are making assertions about childbirth from anything other than a personal, anecdotal perspective. This may well be your intention, but it is certainly not the impression your introductory article gives.
I wish you the kindest regards, and I sincerely hope not to offend you but to express my honest concerns.
I agree with Nadine. As a healthcare professional and a mom of two, I’ve seen and experienced uncomplicated births with minimal interventions and it’s wonderful. But I’ve also seen unexpected complications arise that would have been a lot scarier and more dangerous outside of a proper care setting (it was scary enough inside a hospital!) Some would say a home birth is not safe enough (it isn’t for me personally), but a midwife will bring a lot of equipment and assess how to exit quickly if necessary, so it can be appropriate for a low-risk birth. I cannot imagine having a comparable level of safety and preparation without a trained midwife or physician involved. Your plan of having one in a separate room is arguably interesting, but I am surprised anyone ever agreed to it because they would be putting themselves in a very risky position legally (what if something went wrong and you didn’t realize?)
Why risk your life and health and your baby’s for an experience that lasts a few hours, when being a parent is about soooo much more. 18 years of childhood plus all the subsequent years where parents are still so important in their kids’ lives. Seriously, what child has ever cared how they were born? Priorities please!
I think it’s wonderful to prepare for an uncomplicated birth with minimal interventions, really having a ”toolkit” that might include different positions, massage, acupressure, hypnosis, etc, etc. But having proper backup if things don’t go perfectly is important. And really, you can refuse any unwanted treatments and examinations in a hospital by saying you do not consent to them. If anyone insists, ask if it can wait 15 minutes. If they say yes, you have some time to see how things go. If not, you probably need to get moving or risk having massive regret later. Have a good doula or birthing partner who will stand by you and communicate your wishes and you’re good to go.
I have huge respect for all the work you’ve done on EC, but freebirthing is a very risky thing to be counselling people to do and you do not have qualifications to be giving healthcare advice.
In an ideal world all mamas should be able to choose where, when, and with whom they want to give birth. Women should also research the risks and benefits about choosing how they want to give birth.
There are risks to giving birth in all settings. Hospital birth’s have their risks, as do home births with licensed or unlicensed midwives, as well as freebirths. We as individuals should be able to make informed choices that we feel are best for ourselves and our baby. That should be a choice given to everyone, not made by others.
Preparing for an unmedicated hospital birth is not as easy as you make it sound. Not all mamas can afford a doula to help them advocate for themselves, and if you look at the statistics of women having unmedicated natural birth it is very low. Watch the The Business of Being Born it explains it in good detail.
As a note, declining treatments and examination is possible, but very hard when dealing with the pressures of doctors and nurses encouraging otherwise. Also, it is not uncommon for insurance companies to decline coverage because of ones refusal, AND there are still rules and laws that places like a hospital have to follow. For instance, a women going into triage can be declined a room without an examination. This is just one example, of many.
Thank you for respectfully sharing your experiences and opinions. 💕
Such a great podcast! I am due with my second child in less than 2 months and I have been very uneasy with the idea of a hospital birth- especially with all of the Covid restrictions. I tried to convince my husband to hire a midwife who runs a birthing center instead of an OB this time, but really he didn’t like the one we met (only one in our area I could find).
My first labor I intended to do it unmediated but I was quickly convinced to get an epidural by my nurse once we got to the hospital. This next go round, I want to make it my own experience, even if it is in the hospital! I hope to stick with my plan and go unmediated, as close to natural as possible.
Unfortunately, we live almost an hour away from the hospital so having the baby at home isn’t the smartest decision for us if an emergency were to present itself. I hope to apply all the principles of your podcast, and those that I’ve found on my own, to have the best birth experience possible! Who knows, maybe I’ll end up having an unplanned home birth after all if things progress fast enough!
Thank you for all of the advice!
Hi Andrea! Thanks for sharing this and congratulations on your new book! I have had two hospital births, the first with epidural and the second natural. There was one important point in your podcast that I really wish I had known before my second birth – how moms need a moment after the baby is born to stop and recover a bit before holding the baby. For my natural birth, everything went really well and the doctor (with help from my doula) followed all my wishes, but the birth was definitely not pain free and after the baby came out they immediately passed her to me to hold and I really didn’t think I could physically do it! I was shaking with exhaustion from the effort of pushing her out and didn’t feel strong enough to hold her. Also mentally I was feeling a little traumatized, so I would really have appreciated having that moment of pause. So I think this is a great piece of advice and I would tell any moms-to-be wanting to have a natural birth to put this moment of pause in their birth plans. In all my research about birth plans, this point never came up, so I think it’s great if you can spread this idea around more through your podcast/blog/book. Thanks again for sharing your experience and advice! I’m sure it will do a lot of good to all the pregnant mamas out there!
Thank you SO much for the support, and for sharing your experiences. I will continue to spread the word. 💕
1000% agree
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Nadine & Rosa & everyone else who has any strong opinions about this issue. Andrea, I respect that you try to include those who are not comfortable with unassisted birth in this podcast & presumably in your new book.
As a homebirth midwife, I agree with so much of what you say about undisturbed birth, Andrea. The pause after birth is so very important to acknowledge as so many birthing people feel guilty that they weren’t immediately ready to receive their baby when it was thrust upon them. Check out Birth in the Squatting Position on YouTube for a great video showing that pause in action.
And of course I agree that we are mammals & should remember that our bodies were designed for growing & birthing. Also it is important to remember that we are social mammals. Like elephants & bonobos, we need the support of others of our kind whom we trust to bear witness and protect us while we do the hard work of birthing. But unlike, elephants & bonobos we have access to highly skilled birth attendants who can assist in emergencies such as cord prolapse, shoulder dystocia or postpartum hemorrhage. One thing is clear, the human species as a whole isn’t effected when a few babies die, but people do generally care when a baby dies.
I do not accept that because 95% of low risk births would have great outcomes if left undisturbed, that we should forego all birth attendants and cross our fingers that we aren’t part of the 5%. Also I don’t understand why your list of 4 things that indicate a need for transfer does not include anything about how the baby is doing in labor (other than cord prolapse, where we can just assume that baby is definitely not doing well). We cannot assume that baby is doing well if mom is doing well. That is just crossing our fingers once again.
I am concerned about the way that you paint the picture of undisturbed birth. You do talk about how if there is an emergency you should seek care. But mainly you talk about trusting the process & one’s body. It is quite a beautiful sentiment, to put one’s trust into a process that is designed to work for the vast majority of the time. But it also sets some of us to feel betrayed by our bodies if things don’t go well, or we had interventions in our labor & birth. There is already a lot of pressure and shame surrounding the natural birth movement. It is important to me that we are careful when talking about birth. A person can do all the preparations, all the learning, do everything right and still not have the birth they wanted. It isn’t their fault! I hope that you have mada your book clear in that regard. In the podcast, there was definitely room for people to feel guilty or lost if things don’t go the way they expect based on your descriptions.
There is a dangerous line here when we talk about planning a birth that is undisturbed with no interventions. What if an intervention is offered, such as listening to the baby’s heartbeat during labor, which could help determine what the birthing person might do next. Let’s say the baby’s heartbeat slows considerably when the birthing person is on hands and knees. It would be great to know that, as it is quite a physiologic laboring position. Without listening to the heartbeat there would not be a way to know that simply avoiding hands and knees could help ensure the baby is getting enough oxygen. Do we turn down all interventions just because they are interventions? Or do we only turn them down if we don’t trust the person offering the intervention?
And what about this “midwife in another room” business? Would the midwife be able to offer an intervention if there was a severe postpartum hemorrhage and the birthing person wasn’t conscious? Or does the midwife have to stay in the other room unless called? I have certainly attended births as a midwife where I was in the other room, but I was allowed to listen to baby and check the birthing person, to be able to truly guard that sacred time and ensure everyone was well. Midwives can be very good at undisturbed birth and very good at unobtrusively checking baby and birthing parent’s vitals. But if they aren’t able to do the simple interventions to check how everyone is tolerating labor then they can’t really be the keepers of the gate, as they don’t have the information they need to truly support.
Lastly, I feel frustrated that you would use your ec platform to market your unrelated new book. It makes sense that you would talk about tinyundies.com here as these things are interrelated. But EC can happen no matter how a baby comes into the world. I get that unassisted birth is another passion of yours. I just ask that you separate the two passions a bit more by not mentioning unassisted birth here. Thank you for your consideration.
Thank you for your respectful thoughts, and opinions. 💕
Through my first pregnancy I read all the natural birth books, worked out regularly, hired a doula and did everything I could to ensure my natural birth plan would be a success since it is a normal natural process. My due date came and went but I refused intervention because “she’ll come when she’s ready”. And my sister always had her babies late and never had a problem. She had 7 and most were home birth. At almost two weeks past my due date I finally agreed to a membrane sweep which kicked off my labor. 24 hours of labor (no epidural) and 8 hours of pushing later, my daughter was in distress and aspirated meconium. The only sign she was in distress was from the beeping of all the monitors and then the sudden in rush of doctors.. I ended up with an emergency vacuum extraction. After they pulled her out the silence was deafening. No cries as they wisked her away and I didn’t know if she was alive or dead. Thankfully after what seemed like an eternity, they vacuumed enough poop out of her lungs that she finally let out a cry. I was able to hold her for a brief moment before she was rushed off to the special care nursery and my husband and I were left alone. Definitely not the birth I had envisioned. I began pumping and little did I know, that would kick off almost a full year of exclusive pumping because intubation affects suck swallow reflexes. I dealt with severe pelvic floor dysfunction after and have been asked by some if I think I would have been better off with a c-section. I don’t know. I do know that with my second baby I am way more open to intervention. If I end up with a c-section, i don’t care as long as we survive. Having babies may be natural but without m9nitoring and immediate intervention my daughter would not be here. I hope others who read this will ask themselves, is this really worth it if things go wrong?
A note to the author, you may want to consider consulting a good lawyer to verify your liability if/when something goes wrong.
To the previous lady: you did have a membrane sweep. It’s an intervention. No one knows what would have happened if you didn’t have it. Being two weeks “late” is not a reason to hurry labour, unless there were clear signs that baby wasn’t doing well in utero. I don’t want to be rude to you who didn’t get the birth you wanted, it is sad enough, but I also want more women to be aware that any non-critical intervention can bring disaster… I’ve heard too many stories like this one. Many women in freebirth circles give birth after 42 weeks, without issues at all, recently a mom had a baby at 44 weeks, perfectly healthy.
This is very true! Membrane sweeps are an intervention. Being in the hospital alone can sometimes slow labor because the constant interruptions of being checked and/or monitored.
To the previous lady: you did have a membrane sweep. It’s an intervention. No one knows what would have happened if you didn’t have it. Being two weeks “late” is not a reason to hurry labour, unless there were clear signs that baby wasn’t doing well in utero. I don’t want to be rude to you who didn’t get the birth you wanted, but I also want more women to be aware that any non-critical intervention can bring disaster… I’ve heard too many stories like this one. Many women in freebirth circles give birth after 42 weeks, without issues at all, recently a mom had a baby at 44 weeks, perfectly healthy.
Thank you for sharing your experience, and happy you and your little one are well. Modern medicine is great when needed, which is why I talk about when to transfer in the book.
Membrane sweeps are an intervention, and in many states hospitals push to induce labor for women at as they approach their due date, and don’t like it when mamas are even near 42 weeks. Pushing for 8 hours is definitely a long time, especially after 24 hours of labor. Being 32 hours in labor is long, and can tire out the uterus, mama, and baby.
All the more reason why people should have some knowledge about birth, especially if they are choosing free birth.
Thank you for sharing this! I am really looking forward to reading your new book. I am expecting my first child due late June and planning for a homebirth. I have been under the care of a midwife and have not done any ultrasounds or any interventions really, except for a gestational diabetes screen and initial blood panel. I appreciate you reinforcing the idea that birth is a natural process that our bodies are designed for. Your post/video gave me even more confidence and reassurance. I am so grateful for your work and information on EC, and now freebirth. I am really excited to apply what I have learned from you and welcome our child into this world. Thank you for all you do!
Thank you for your support and Congratulations!! ❤️
Yes birth is a natural process, and many, many births would go well without intervention, but not all of them. To suggest that people DIY birth without a trained caregiver—on the basis of the author’s own 5 births—is reckless. To suggest that people who live near a hospital can feel OK about emergency situations arising at home because there is a 15 minute window is reckless, especially if one doesn’t have a midwife at home who can call ahead to the hospital to alert and inform staff there (anyone who has gone to the ER knows that one doesn’t get *treated* the minute one walks in.) It also directly contradicts what the author says about her EC book: don’t follow the advice of other women who have experience with just a few of their own babies, trust someone who has broad experience. In the case of birth, that would be birth professionals who have studied childbirth and attended hundreds of births, not a woman who has had 5 babies herself. I came to this site out of curiosity about early potty learning, but I must say this has given me pause about trusting the author.
Thank you for your post. All mamas should have a choice about where they choose to give birth and under what circumstances. I am just simply saying sharing my knowledge from my own free births. It includes all the knowledge I have gained from reading other books, talking to other licensed and unlicensed midwives, my experience, and others as well.
There are many reasons why a women would choose to have a free birth. For example, they had a fast birth first birth, and live far from the hospital there would be no way to make it in time or for a licensed midwife to attend.
I have a ton of free, and paid information on the topic of EC, I hope that you take what is useful and leave out the rest. Nothing will be for everyone. We just need to do what is best for ourselves and our families.
Thank you for the handout! I’m a first time mama planning to do an at home water birth. Ina May’s community is actually in the next town over from me (it’s called The Farm) and I am loving the Guide to Childbirth book she put out! My midwife came from the Farm so I’m hoping that she will align closely with the book. I look forward to ECing from birth! I have your book Go Diaper Free (bought it before I ever got pregnant!) and already have a top hat potty from your store!(:
Sounds like you are amazing! Yes “The Farm” is very popular, and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth is an amazing book. You will find mine as a nice addition to hers.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Awesome! Keep sharing your life story and opening people’s minds to more than what meets the eye and modern way of thinking. Some mistake fear-based thinking as wisdom but its not wisdom. Wisdom is from above for those who ask, unwavering. Women have had “freebirths” for thousands of years. And the world seems pretty populated to me!❤🧡💛💚💙💙💜 praise Jesus, the way, the truth, and the life!
Thank you for your support! ❤️❤️❤️
I like that you mention the caveat of using this information even in a hospital setting. My sister has had some miserable birth experiences and so she has been coaching me to educate myself and advocate for myself. I can’t afford a home birth with a midwife, which is my birth ideal. But i like the idea of laboring at home as long as possible and having the tools to know when its time to leave for the hospital. I look forward to laboring in my clawfoot tub with my husband.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! It is so nice that your sister is teaching you how to advocate for yourself. Laboring at home for as long as safely possible sounds like a great option for you. Birthing the way you choose is the way to go. 💕