What to Expect with EC in the Newborn Phase: EC with a 0 – 4 month old baby

We are going to talk about things to expect in the newborn or zero to four months phase in elimination communication, also called the golden window. You can see the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/190.

Hey, there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Today, I'm going to talk about what things you can expect in the newborn phase, which is zero to four months old. I don't know about you, but when I had a brand new baby and I was doing EC for the very first time, and I was doing baby raising for the very first time, other than babysitting which had happened decades before, I was a little bit lost. And it would've been nice if somebody would've told me, "Hey, Andrea, this is what to expect at this stage, and then here's what to expect at the next stage and the next." So this is a series of three different episodes where we're going to be talking about things to expect regarding EC at newborn, mobile and young toddler. Today, we're going to talk about newborns.

Now, developmentally, let's just talk about this. We're going to expect them to pee about every 10 to 15 minutes. Poop is going to vary. It could be every single time you feed, it could be seven times a day, it could be every seven days. Both of those are normal with exclusively breastfed babies. So poop is going to vary, but pee is a lot. It happens a lot. Luckily, they're not awake that often to be peeing a lot, so the number of pees per day is not actually that high because they sleep a lot. Like a puppy, they sleep all the time. And then around three months, we move into about 15 to 20-minute intervals, and we're still about the same with the poops. I really don't expect you guys to catch all the pees with a newborn, and I'm going to tell you in the newborn program, Baby Meets Potty, I tell you very, very clearly that you can't catch all of them. If we get the wake ups and we get the poops, we will have a really good foundation to EC. That's sort of the little trick there.

That's about what to expect developmentally, how often do they pee at this age. And the daytime backup at this age is probably going to be a diaper. During observations, and it doesn't matter what kind of diaper you use, whatever works for you. During observation, you might get some Aqua Blue Trainers if you don't want to do naked observation with your newborn. Those are going to show immediately when the baby's wet, and you can still write that down or put it in The Log. The app that I have that's called The Log, you can do observation time in there.

So with newborns, that's what we wear. We're typically at four naps a day. Typically, they're... Or not typically, but sometimes there's a sleep regression at three to four months. Also, I don't think it's a coincidence, at three to four months, we've got the developmental task of rolling. So, your baby is going to try to roll out of your arms, and you might think you're getting resistance over the potty, but they're actually practicing rolling because that is ingrained in their programming, to learn to roll at three to four months. We go down to three naps a day or so when the baby's four or five months old. At this age, the potty that we use exclusively usually is the Top Hat Potty. And I sell those at tinyundies.com if you need those. Fussy weeks per the Wonder Weeks, which is a wonderful book, an app resource are five weeks old, eight weeks old, 12 weeks old and 17 weeks old.

If you notice fussy periods at those times, stick with EC, stick with the basics, stick with the Four EC Catches and know that that fussy period will move on, will end. So that is, and I go over this roadmap in detail, in the newborn program on Go Diaper Free. So you can definitely check that out and look at the whole ... It looks like a road and you can see what development your baby's going to go through on all these levels.

Instead of talking about expectations for newborns, because there's just not a lot going on, we're going to talk about you. Your goal is to focus on the process, not any goals at this age. We are building potty confidence in you, the parents. We are finding a family rhythm. Maybe every time the baby wakes up, we're offering the potty, then nursing, then having some play time. First fuss after nursing, you're going to offer the potty. Maybe that becomes your rhythm. We're establishing your habits as the parent. We already get the opportunity to develop a habit of changing diapers, but what a wonderful thing to add the habit of pegging onto that. Every time I change the diaper, I'm also going to offer the potty. The more you start this habit early on, and by the way, did you guys know that 50% of people start EC during this age range? And this has changed a lot since 11 years ago when I started doing this. It's amazing. It's wonderful. So a lot of you guys are in this boat.

If you are, your goal right now is to keep your baby clean and dry. We don't want them sitting in pee or poop, do we? I wouldn't want to sit in that. We're learning our babies better. So we're decoding all the cries. If you haven't, check out Dunstan Baby Language. The cry for discomfort is usually the cry for potty. You're decoding your baby. You're like, "Oh, all the things that it could possibly be. Oh, you stick them on the boob. You try to ... I don't know why you're crying." About a third of the cries are because they need to go to the bathroom.

So if we get that wake up and that poop rhythm going, we're going to have a much better time decoding our overall baby's cries, because that's communication, right? We're going to synchronize with babies. So when they start pooping, we're going to say, "Wait," open up that diaper, take them to the potty. Then they know that they can trust us and their communication is going to result in a responsive parent. So we start to sync up and the next time they go to poop, even at a couple weeks old, they will look at you, look at you, try to find you. And as they're tooting or whatever's happening or they're pushing down, they are making contact with you as a signal, we are syncing up. The other goal during this age is to build connection. EC is more about connection and communication than it is about completion or any kind of goal.

And the last thing is we're going to create a foundation of language around pottying and eating and sleeping. We're constantly talking to our babies, and we're not narrating everything that shows that you are afraid and you do not know what you're doing, and you're going to drive your baby nuts. If you haven't read The Continuum Concept, check it out because it talks about making your baby the center of attention and how that can actually backfire and make them feel really insecure because they're in charge, when they just really want to learn how to be a grownup human and just observe you in doing what you're doing.

So baby wearing is super important during this age range. It also helps them to just relax and disperse all their energy. Like I know when I get a hug as an adult, I feel relaxed. My energy is just, "Ah." Babies are the same way. So if we wear our babies, and we're talking about the things that we're doing just as needed, we hold them over the potty, and we're going “psss” or “grgr”. When they need to go, or when we see them going, we're building a sound association. That's building a language. And when they start to sit during this time period, they're not going to be sitting alone. That's not developmentally appropriate. We don't want to put pressure on their spine. It's not appropriate. But if we're holding our baby over the potty or we're holding them over the sink or whatever, and if maybe daddy is nearby and wants to make the potty sign, you know the "t" shaking side to side, that's developing a language.

When you have your baby eventually in a high chair, you're going to be building a language of, are you hungry? And even when we talk to them, "Oh, you're tired," like we're naming things for them. You're going to pee. This is the foundation of language that we get to develop. And we do it automatically. Baby makes a coo, we coo back, this is like a call and response. So in doing that with EC, we just naturally fold that into the grunting and the pee noise that we make when we see them go or when we say it's okay to go.

So that was a lot, but I really hope that helps you wrap your mind around this. If you're pregnant, this will especially give you some idea of what to expect during the newborn phase with EC. You can learn more in My Golden Window Newborns course. I know earlier I called it Baby Meets Potty. That's what it used to be called when it was a mini-course. Now, it's a full grown program. It's called the Golden Window course. And we also have the ultimate course pack, which will give you all 10 courses, my seven mini courses and the three developmental ones in the different age ranges. And I will give you guys a link in the show notes for that as well.

Again, you can see the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/190, and I will link to everything mentioned in today's show over there. We'll see you then.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.