Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast where we're all about helping you stop depending on diapers as early as birth. I'm your host Andrea Olson, author and mom of five EC’d babies. This is Episode 48, The purpose of a diaper.
Hey, you guys. I'm so glad to have you here this week. This is a really special episode. I have a really strong opinion about what a diaper is actually supposed to be for, and I'm going to tell you about it here today. And then, I would love to know your comments after we're done. Those comments and that conversation will happen over where the show notes are hosted on my website, godiaperfree.com/48.
Okay, so let's talk about it. What is the purpose of a diaper? Well, ask anybody who does not do EC, or know that it exists or that you can possibly early potty train, will tell you that “a diaper is meant to hold my babies pee and poop. And then, when my baby tells me that he's ready, he can start using the toilet.” Basically, what you're saying is the diaper is a toilet, and if you ask somebody they would say, “Well, yeah, it is.” I don't know if it really clicked that that doesn't feel right or does feel right. Maybe for some people it is right. For me, it doesn't feel right. Diapers were never meant to be a toilet when they first came out.
One of my mentors, in business and stuff and life really, worked for Pampers for...it's either 25 or 35 years. I always get it mixed up, but he has like patents for certain diaper designs and everything. He was way up in it, and he told me that diapers were first invented − disposable diapers in the early 60s − to help make it more convenient so moms could get out of the house and have to do less laundry. This was the beginning of the whole, really the early beginnings of feminist movement, everything else, and female empowerment with getting moms out of the house. The washer and dryer helped with that as well.
But this invention, so at first nobody wanted disposable diapers, and he told me this when we had our chats about diapers. I thought they were evil, and I wanted to know why and when they came about. I do have a whole podcast episode on a brief history of diapers, and that is episode number 24. But today, I'm going to talk about it a little bit different way. Basically, he told me that they invented them as convenient tools for parents, for moms specifically, but I don't think that they ever meant for them to be full-time toilets. At that time, parents were using diapers as a backup, and they were using cloth. Cloth diapers have only generally been around commercially for a couple hundred years. That, in the vast expanse of human history, is a small blip, right? What did they do before that?
Well, I talk about that in the other show episode about the brief history of diapers. But basically, yeah, if it were going to be inconvenient to potty the baby during nomadic travels or certain like really cold climates, then they would use a backup on the baby just in case, but it was never a full-time toilet. We just didn't have the equipment or the tools for that. You could only go so far with mosses and furs.
Over the course of human evolution, we invented these convenient little things called cloth diapers, muslin, flour sack type stuff, and they were very loosely fitting, and it was really just until the child began to walk, when we could actually totally train them onto a toilet, and we would use it as a backup. It was for when the baby wasn't quite able to do it themselves yet, and when they became old enough to walk, then the backup would go away.
Today, I want to challenge you to re-address your own belief system about diapers. The purpose of a diaper, is it for a backup or a toilet? And, who made it a toilet in the first place? Well, that would be those big bad diaper companies, and they're not all bad, and I sure hope they have good intentions, but it's bad for the environment, and that's what I'm saying here. I am not going to diaper shame any parent, but I am going to shame the diaper companies, because they're ruining the environment.
Here's my point, you guys. The purpose of a diaper is − and always was when they first came out − to be a backup, not a toilet. Those companies which − who would like to have your money for four, or five, and six years of diapering your child day and night, pull-ups included − would like for you to believe that the diaper is supposed to be a toilet, and have exquisitely marketed their way in to change your entire culture to believe this myth.
This is not good for your baby. You can look at my scientific report blog post on that. Toilet training after two is not good for your baby. This is not good for the environment. 24 billion diapers land filled a year that never biodegrade. And this is not good for your relationship with them. You miss out on this key opportunity to communicate and converse with your child and to really give them self esteem and dignity that they are born with and wanting. They want to have good hygiene. They want all of this stuff.
We can directly support them in being extremely confident, self-efficient, independent, and confident children through teaching them at developmentally appropriate ages, which happens to be as they age, Montessori frame of thought is 12 to 18 months, is the sensitive period for this task of toilet independence, starting and finishing happening then, and that's what we've always done since diapers were around. And before diapers, when they would wriggle and fuss, we would just point and shoot. We would do what is called EC. Or we would use, as we became more modern and modern, we use a backup, but it never was intended to be a toilet until the diaper companies came along and thought, “Wow, we can make billions of dollars through having kids in diapers longer and longer.”
Now, let's circle back to my mentor. When I told him about EC and I told him about how parents are now choosing to start at birth − at least by 18 months, wrapping everything up by 18 months in most ideal situations − it blew his mind. He couldn't even talk to me for a few days. When we came back around, he was like, “Wow, I really honestly thought we were helping making things more convenient for moms by giving them ages and stages, and letting them move into the next stage of diaper, but what I didn't think about is what was good for the mom, and what was good for the baby, and the cost of it for the mom, and the impact on the environment, and all that.”
The point of this episode 48 is the purpose of the diaper is a backup, not a toilet. Once you can make that paradigm shift, and go, “Okay, I'm going to put this diaper on my baby, but I'm going to stay aware of their elimination.” Which is the spirit of EC, even if you're not pottying them. “I'm going to stay aware of this, and I'm going to use this as a backup until I learn how to do EC, or until I decide to do potty training, or until I...or while I'm busier, or making dinner, or attending to my other kid, or while we're in the car. It's going to be a backup for when we possibly will miss each other, and it's not any longer going to be used as a toilet in my house.” Some use as a backup at night because I want my baby to get a lot of sleep, and I think that it's best for this to be there as a backup for, you know, those nights when he doesn't come up dry in the morning. That kind of thing.
Hopefully, that makes sense. I also want to offer you a few resources. There is a blog post that I wrote called The Paradigm Shift, or something to that effect. The diaper is no longer a toilet when you start doing EC, it's now a backup. I want you to read that if you're interested, and then I also want to tell you about a biodegradable diaper that has just come out that I am using in my own household. It will biodegrade with their instructions in 75 days average if you follow the instructions and if it doesn't have poop in it, which if you're doing EC, usually you don't have poopy diapers. Yay, win, win, win.
This is called Dyper, D-Y-P-E-R. I am an ambassador of theirs only because I use it, and I actually want everybody to get it. And hey, they offer me a reward if I send anybody their way, so just note that if you do follow my link it will be benefiting me so that I can help give more and more information about EC to others and keep this business going. You can click on it if you want. I'll put it in the show notes, but it's godiaperfree.com/dyper, D-Y-P-E-R. The reason I say that is I want to be transparent about that.
I don't ever promote anything that I don't use or love for EC. And I have to say, you guys, this is game changing. Biodegradable diaper that doesn't leak, that shows an indicator on it when it's wet, so you can check without having to constantly take off your baby's diaper, or they're wet already, and that can go back into the earth, and is made of bamboo fibers. And by the way, their wipes are amazing too. I have been yearning for something like this, one that actually works, for so long. And guys, you can get technical and nitpicky about, “Oh, well maybe it doesn't biodegrade perfectly in my back garden. Do I need special whatever?” On their website, they talk about responsibility with diapers and how to deal with the waste.
But it is an improvement, a vast improvement versus any other diaper out there, and including the intense resources we use to launder cloth diapers, just saying. There is no perfect solution, but if you want a better disposable option, then definitely check out Dyper, and use that D-Y-P-E-R, Dyper, as a backup, not a toilet. If you're doing cloth diapering that is great, and you can use these biodegradable ones as a backup at night if that helps you all to get more sleep, but I just wanted to offer that to you, and let you know that there are other options there, and that cloth is always, always a great idea as well. I support you in whatever kind of diaper you want to use. It's your decision.
The point is with EC, the diaper is no longer a toilet once you start and commit to EC. It is now a backup, and that is the punch line. Okay, so I probably didn't need to spend a whole 10 minutes talking about all those details, but I really wanted to sink in you guys. We have been taught in our diapering culture that they are toilets, and they just simply never were meant to be, and our babies aren't designed for them to be. Even a horse walks around with a poop bag on parades and stuff, and it tries to catch it all. That's kind of like a diaper. Why would we want to do that to our kids? All right, not for long anyway.
Okay, so we have a tip from one of our readers in Estonia, Kaia. She began EC at birth, and her baby's age was 11 months old when she sent me this tip. She has a website. She's an artist. I will link to it in the show notes, because I cannot pronounce it. I think it's kaiaotstak.planet.ee. She has beautiful artwork, definitely check her out.
This is her tip, and I'll leave you with this. “My first tip is that at the beginning don't do much reading on EC, just acknowledge that it is possible.” It's like what we're talking about today, this paradigm shift. It's possible. “Simplicity helps you to focus and find your inner wisdom and guidance. Your intuition leads you in the best way and you're more focused on your own baby. Afterwards the readings on the topic will help you to overcome the new obstacles − especially the psychological ones, and it's good to know what might happen in the future.” For that you guys, listen to my podcast. When you get into new obstacles, definitely get my book Go Diaper Free. Cause she has it, I'm just saying.
“My second tip [from Kaia] is that you should make a firm decision to follow EC, if you want to do this. When you know what you want, then the baby will definitely follow you. When you're uncertain, then the baby will receive mixed messages and will not know what is actually expected. She senses your hesitation." Oh my gosh, Kaia, you nailed it on both of your tips. Thank you so much for those.
Yeah, that's the end of this podcast you guys. You've been listening to the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson. Oh, by the way, I want you to go over to the website real quick, to the blog, godiaperfree.com/48, and in the comments, I want you to tell me what you think about the diaper being a backup versus a toilet, and I want you to tell us if you have anything to add to that, or any questions about this concept. Or did this concept blow your mind? Are you so excited now? We have great conversations over there. Please join us, and again, this is the end of the show, and I'll see you next time. Thanks so much for being here. I'm Andrea with Go Diaper Free.
I love this SO much! Thank you for all your information on this – I’ve always wondered what generations before us did, but never was sure. I hate nappies (that’s what we call them here in Australia) but never known why.. this was a great episode! Can’t wait to try EC with our third due in Dec.. feeling nervous but determined and loved those tips from Kaia… I honestly believe the culture of not being ‘stuck’ at home for women has changed so much that many are happy to use nappies for years so they can get out and about – I’d love to know what ‘home’ life looked like for women decades ago (ie: routines, playing with kids, cleaning etc) and doing toileting at the same time?? Thank you anyway!
Hi Amy! I’m so happy you enjoyed the information. It is wonderful that you are planning on practicing EC with your next little one, congratulations on your pregnancy! I understand EC can seem daunting, but once you start you’ll find it very easy to work into your daily routine. Older siblings are a great help with EC as well. xx Andrea
I stumbled upon Andrea and Go Diaper Free on YouTube before I delivered my baby girl in January. It instantly made sense to me. My baby cues when she’s tired and hungry, why wouldn’t she when she has to go potty? And the environmental impacts are huge. I believe it to be the single most impactful thing I can do for our planet. I started EC with her at 3 months. We do pretty well when we’re at home, but I REALLY struggle when were around family. My husband is somewhat supportive, but doesn’t participate. I really don’t know how to go about it when his family is around. I don’t want to cause offense to those around us that are doing it the conventional way. I don’t want to have to explain myself or justify my decisions that are “outside the normal” way of doing things. Any suggestions?
Hi Brooke! I wouldn’t stress, just do your thing. You’ll find people are usually just curious. The key is to answer questions without sounding judgmental. I have a podcast that should help you with those conversations. If you want to avoid explaining it, just take baby into the bathroom to potty. xx Andrea
Hi Brooke! Yes, it can be a struggle when surrounded by friends & family that don’t EC (even if they are supportive or indifferent)! I have been and am currently in your shoes, baby #3.
For me, taking baby into the bathroom for potty and diapering works best. And I use a diaper backup. If they don’t see baby being pottied, it helps to keep it from being a topic of discussion. I have a sibling and friends that have worked really hard to train their older kids & I want to be sensitive to their feelings. Admittedly I do have more misses when in these settings, whether from not paying enough attention or the potty not being as readily available.
If you need more support, you can find me on the coach search.
I think this should be the first thing people read about EC and diapers. It’s seems like common sense. You wouldn’t wrap a toilet around your baby if you could, right? Dignity, yes! And they’re expected to turn on a dime, years of sitting in it. Readiness is when they’ve had enough.
Hi Julie! Yes, I think it really helps when people can change their mindset on what a diaper is for. It’s not something people really think about, once they do it puts everything into perspective. xx Andrea
I love all these episodes about changing the entire pottying mindset. I was all set to start EC with my first baby from birth, but had an injury when he was just a week old and had to get surgery on one of my shoulders. Disposable diapers have made it so I can take care of him but it’s been frustrating to have to wait! My son is going to really love EC because he cries so hard whenever his diaper is wet. He definitely shows that babies want to be hygienic!
Hi Beth! I am so sorry to hear you had to have surgery. Don’t worry, when you are able to start EC it will go great! Just focus on your recovery for now. xx Andrea
This is funny because this is how I have felt about diapers before I had even heard of EC. Diapers have always disgusted me, especially disposable diapers. I have 3 kids. We used cloth for all three. The oldest is 7 now. I didn’t EC my first kid, but I didn’t let him sit in a dirty diaper either. I guess I kinda did instinctually EC my son because I always knew when he went and immediately changed his diaper. To me sitting in a piece of cloth (diaper) was the same as wearing underwear. But once it was soiled, it was gross. I mean if I soiled my pants I wouldn’t just sit in it, I would clean it up. When he started to walk around 1 I thought instead of waiting for him to go in his diaper, I can just take him to the toilet. After a while he just started going to the bathroom on his own.
I thought this was how everyone else did it. I didn’t understand why disposable diapers needed to be so absorbent or why people thought cloth diapers were gross or uncomfortable. When I told other moms that I used cloth, the most frequent question was, “how do you know when to change you babies diaper?” This question confused me. It really wasn’t until my third kid that I realized that people don’t just change their kids diaper. They let them sit in it until the diaper fills up. Even if its poop. To me this idea is the strange one.
I think it is because of how expensive disposable diapers are. I never really used disposables until my third kid. Only in certain situations for convenience, like on a family trip or something. After using them I started to understand a little more. If there is just a little pee it kinda seems like a waste to throw it away, both on the environment and my wallet. With cloth, the less it is soiled, the easier it is to clean. I’m doing laundry anyways, a few more diapers will not make a difference. I can now see how over a few generations of disposable diaper use diapers could transform from a back-up to a toilet.
Hi Beth! You have great instincts! You definitely did EC with your oldest. I think you’re right, the expense of disposable diapers leads to people leaving them on longer than they should. Cloth is definitely the way to go if you can. xx Andrea
Yeah, it amazes me how few diapers some people use! Dyper provides average of 6 per day and I got thru more like 10 + my catches. And moms talk about how many hours a diaper lasts., whereas I think about the # of pees it holds.
Just wanted to say thanks for the very helpful history lesson. Now that I’m totally on-board with EC, I get a little queezy to the stomach when I see some baby with a hugely full diaper and the parents completely oblivious. But speaking of that, I have to admit that even before having children (and none of this stuff anywhere on my radar) I always thought it kind of strange to photograph babies in just their diapers. Yuck. A kid sitting in his waste. Doesn’t seem humane at all. I especially appreciate that you said that our children want to have good hygiene. And, thanks too for the plug for dyper. I am definitely going to check that out.
Hi Mary You are welcome! I agree, it is difficult to see a baby in a full diaper after learning about/practicing EC. Definitely check out Dyper, I love them! xx Andrea
Great episode! If you don’t have facebook – is this the best way to connect with other EC parents? Thanks for all you do.
Hi Melissa! I would check to see if there is a local group meeting. You can search for a group on my website. xx Andera
Hi Andrea, great article about diapers ….I must say its quite a bit information you provided us ….thank you for sharing your knowledge about diapers with us.
You are so welcome! xx Andrea
“My second tip [from Kaia] is that you should make a firm decision to follow EC, if you want to do this. When you know what you want, then the baby will definitely follow you. When you’re uncertain, then the baby will receive mixed messages and will not know what is actually expected. She senses your hesitation.”
I really don’t like this tip. If I’d heard this before I started EC, it might have turned me off of doing it, because I’ve always known that I can’t count on being 100% committed to most things, especially if it’s something I’ve never tried before. This tip makes it sound like EC is all-or-nothing, and if you’re not going diaper-free and aiming to catch every elimination, you shouldn’t even bother. Meanwhile, I’m catching 25-50% of my baby’s eliminations in the potty, and she’s diapered full-time (in cloth diapers) and I’m happy with that. I’m introducing her to the concept of a potty, giving her an alternative to the diaper, and she’s almost entirely stopped peeing/pooping mid-change and making a mess. It makes changes less stressful for me, it reduces the laundry somewhat, and pottying her is a fun snuggly bonding time where she looks up at me loving and tries to pull my hair. That’s good enough for me. She doesn’t really signal, and I’m fine with that. She often pees and poops in her diaper, and I’m fine with that. I still see benefits from EC, without treating it as an all-or-nothing commitment.
EC can most definitely be taken on super part time and every little bit of practice is worth it. I’d never want anyone to feel like it is an all or nothing endeavor. It’s a super non-linear journey with sometimes full of pauses and resistance. But by committing to practicing EC whether it be focusing on trying to get those easy catches, or more involved part-time EC where you also offer pottytunities or tackling it full-time and never using a single diaper of any kind, being firm in your decision will help provide consistency for your baby, and avoid mixed messages or any feelings of uncertainty in your baby. In the end, EC is flexible and can fit into every lifestyle.
First and foremost I am pleased by your acknowledgement. My reason for asking this question is due to the fact that now day’s it’s not only meant for baby’s anymore but even adult’s who can’t control mechanisms anymore!!!