Newborn Cries While Pottying

First things first: no, Sarah, it's not a lost cause. There are so many different ways to do EC. There are so many different receptacles. There are different things you can do when EC appears to not be working, but it's actually something else going on.

You've got a newborn who hasn't come fully into his own body yet and baby is still getting accustomed to his body being out here in this world. With all the newness he’s experiencing, it can just a time when everything is a cry, if that makes sense.

So, Sarah has tried the top hat potty, which I would recommend to anybody for whom over the sink is not working. Now, Sarah has tried over the sink, as well. Another thing that might be happening, is that that baby doesn't feel very safe and secure. He feels like, “wait, I just really want to be really super close to you or Dad.” So, what I’d recommend is what I did with Branson when he was about four to six weeks old, so similar age to Sarah’s baby.

We were at Biltmore, this huge estate near our house that we're pass holders for. I just laid him on a waterproof pad on a table and then queued him to go, and he went on it. Then I put his diaper back on, put him back in my carrier, folded up the waterproof pad and put it in my diaper backpack, and that was it.

What I would highly recommend to you or anybody else who has a newborn who's crying, is two different things: Number one, always try the cradled classic hold. So that's going to be you’re holding baby in EC position, classic EC position under the thighs. Baby's back is up against your chest, kind of in between your boobs if mom is the one doing it. If it's dad, it's in between his chest. Basically, you want baby touching your body and feeling really snug. We're not holding them out and over anything. We're holding them very close to ourselves.

Maybe the upright position is creating gas or there's something that just doesn't feel right because they're not supposed to be sitting upright yet. So, if that doesn’t work, you’ll try the position with baby's head in the crook your elbow. If you breastfeed, that’s just how you’d hold baby, cradled into the nook of your elbow. You're still holding the thighs and aiming. Either of those positions is the first quick fix to try. If baby's doing better after that, then you don't have to go onto the second one.

The second one is to get a waterproof pad. I've got these awesome ones at Tinyundies.com. I used the Kushies ones for a really long time, but they kind of fell apart after a while, so I had my own kind manufactured under my name. They are so soft and really big. You can use a waterproof pad (like I did with Branson) and work on sound association.

So, every time he goes on that waterproof pad, you're going to say “pss” for pee or “mhm…mhm…” for poop. Or you can just say pee pee or whatever you want. Just use one thing consistently, and then provide diaper free time on the waterproof pad (you can use it over a couple of times, or just get a couple of pads). As he comes into himself, you'll be able to start pottying over a receptacle again. The first three months of baby being out of the womb - the “fourth trimester”, requires patience. Just know things will rapidly change.

At around three months old, babies start to roll over. I highly recommend getting my newborn EC course, The Golden Window. Above all, don't give up during this time period. This is going to get you, the parent, into a habit of pottying. Also during this period, we’re working on sound association. We're building a common language around “hey, it's okay to release when you hear mommy saying pss.”
As he comes into himself in the fourth trimester, you're going to be able to use a receptacle again. So, don't get rid of your top hat potty, and all of a sudden you'll go, “whoa, it works.” That's what keeps happening with EC over and over again. All of a sudden, you’ll go, “oh, it works. What didn't work last month, works now.” Just roll with it! Roll with the flow; things change all the time and then before you know it, you'll be done and you'll go, “wow, that was a really short period of my child's babyhood already.”

To recap: Get the waterproof pad. Focus on “hey, I'm doing something really good here. I'm doing sound association and my child doesn't have to go in a diaper.” Then, at times when he needs to go - after a bath, after feeding, first fuss after feeding, etc - lay him on the pad. (Try to keep him as fully dressed as possible. Use baby leg warmers. I've got chaps, baby chaps in my Tiny Undies store as well. They let baby have just genitals open to the air, and the rest covered. So baby stays warm. Definitely want to use baby kimonos and other types of baby t-shirts that are long sleeved)

Even if you need to do sound association while your baby's in a diaper, it's okay. You're still teaching something here. There are some cultures that don't even start EC until six months old. So don't feel like you've missed out on anything. Just do what works for now and also work on building that language and that awareness right now. Then be prepared for it to change very, very soon.

If you have any advice for Sarah and her son, or if you are going through a similar experience and have questions, go over to the show notes at godiaperfree.com/209.

Also, check out my newborn program, which is a deep dive into the newborn period step by step, stage by stage. “What if this happens, what do I do here?” The newborn program is just for the newborn period, the first four months of life. I also have a program for mobile babies, as well as one for young toddlers, if you have a baby in that age group.

Definitely get my book, Go Diaper Free. The programs are designed to give you a little more handholding and a little more granular detail, without going overboard or being too long for a busy new mom. (That’s another reason I split them up by age group, so get just what you need for where you are!)

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.