Kaiva’s story – 11 years later!
My oldest son turns 11 years old this week!!
(Geez, that means I am also older, y’all! Ahhhh!)
In celebration of this wonderful event, I’d like to share a little bit about how I believe doing elimination communication with him, from birth, has impacted his life as a now pre-teen.
I would like to encourage you to listen to Kaiva’s full EC story in episode 11 of the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com/11. It reveals:
- How I first learned about EC...and thought it weird but interesting
- Starting EC
- Disposable diapers vs. cloth diapers
- Bumps in the road - crawling, walking, moving house several times, nighttime pottying, etc.
- How I started writing my book, EC Simplified (now Go Diaper Free)
- Traveling internationally and doing EC
- Doing EC all by your lonesome
- EC Completion - daytime and nighttime
- Issues with potty trained toddlers
- EC for co-parents in two separate households
- Preparing your toddler for ECing a new baby
- Plus much more...
Jump to today.
Kaiva has been poop trained since birth. He actually only had one poop “miss” since being out of daytime diapers at 9 months old...and that was around 18 months old.
He has never wet the bed since being out of nighttime diapers at 26 months.
He never had to be potty trained.
(At 13 months old I did do a 1-2 day naked teaching experience, which is outlined in my Hybrid Plan that comes with the Go Diaper Free book - this experience taught him how to physically take himself to the potty!)
Kaiva is extremely well-spoken.
He is brilliant, thoughtful, and contemplative.
He is able to sit for long periods of time and focus on things he loves.
He is confident and self-assured.
He is very independent and in touch with his body.
Kaiva, as some of you know, was also diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome a few years ago. Looking back, I definitely knew he was different as a baby - super-advanced and very mature for his age in a lot of ways.
In retrospect, I wouldn’t say that having AS impacted EC with him other than he didn’t like poop-in-the-diaper - at all! Which is a great thing. He was a fairly normal, verbose, early-talking, early-crawling, early-walking kinda guy. But no issues with EC that I can see, looking back. Perhaps EC helped him feel even more confident as a young tot. Who knows!
But knowing that he has AS doesn’t define him. We use it as a resource to help him cope with some of the things that bother him, and it helps him feel less “weird” and more proud of his strengths, like super-duper hearing and awesome brain activity!
I will address ECing a child on the Autism Spectrum in a future episode. AS doesn’t define who Kaiva is. A label can not tell any of us about our children above and beyond what we know in our hearts is true.
And my Kaiva? He’s a gem. He was a pleasure to EC and he is a pleasure to be with to this day.
Please join me in wishing Kaiva a very happy 11th birthday this week!
And tell me in the comments below:
What type of child did your EC’d baby develop into?
I’m curious to hear your stories as well!
xx Andrea
PS - here’s the video version of this episode in case you prefer to YouTube it. ;)
This is such a beautiful proof of love Andrea! Very touching words about a beautiful human being. EC helped him from the beginning on to feel respected and heard, it helped him to grow in his own pace without a cage of limitations defined by society. EC and how you take his needs and wishes seriously made him a confident and independent young human.
I do and did EC since birth with my daughter and she also was a super fast crawler and walker – speaking took a bit longer but her focus is on body and movements, music and climbing. EC was very important, she knew exactly what she wants and what she doesn´t. One drop of pee in her diper already led to protest. She still knows exactly what she wants and whats against her wishes, but in a very respectful way. At 12 months she was pretty much potty trained – unfortunately day care ruined it. Still she holds her poo until she’s home, we never have to clean a poop diper and actually rarely had to. No stinky diapers in our trash. We mixed with cloth diapers and still do at home.
EC is first of all a great tool to understand and respect your child´s needs. The communication that comes with it is worth everything. I also have the feeling I never had to “break her”, which would definitely changed who she is today. She is 18months now and a very confident and free child.
I bought both your books, soon we will wrap up EC or she is actually almost doing it herself.
Happy birthday to Kaiva!
I struggled to start EC with my daughter because I didn’t know enough about it until she was crawling. We were also having very serious sleep problems that were making me a zombie during the day. So, trying to observe a mobile baby without the energy to keep up with her almost made me believe we would never EC. Finally, when my daughter was 13 months old, I found the hybrid plan. It was magic! My daughter was walking confidently by then, and we were all getting good sleep, so everything started to fall into place. It certainly wasn’t the easiest thing to do, but it was one of the very few decisions I’ve made for my daughter with extreme confidence. I’d always known this was right for her, and I am so glad we found a way. She is 20 months old now, and I consider her to be potty trained. She knows when she needs to go, and she likes to take herself to the potty. We still have various struggles as she grows into her own person, but I can’t believe how much she has learned in just 7 months. Just after we did our very first naked teaching days, my daughter was diagnosed with expressive speech delay. I was heartbroken and confused. I didn’t want this struggle for my vibrant, lively girl. But doing EC helped me learn to pay attention to all the ways she was expressing herself, not just her speech. And there were many! I love that EC has helped me teach my child to use the toilet even when she can’t speak her needs out loud. The speech delay creates frustration for all of us, but EC has encouraged a confidence and independence in her that can’t be overshadowed. And I find it endlessly amusing that we do the most speech practice with words like “poop” and “pee.”