Inconsistency in Potty Training!

This is episode 167. And this time we're going to talk about potty training. So this is typically 16 to 18 months and up, and we're going to talk about inconsistencies with potty training today. You can see the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/167, where you will be able to read the transcript of this entire show and also leave comments, and ask questions of us there. Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC'd from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

So if you're experiencing inconsistency with potty training, I want you to do what I recommend to my EC people as well, is to forgive yourself because you only know what you know when you know it, right? That's a mouthful, but you literally don't know how to potty train. If you're doing potty training after having done EC, EC is not potty training, so how could you know what you're doing?

If you're doing potty training with my help or with the help of people in any of my groups, and you have never done potty training of any kind before, then how could you know what you're doing? But if you've got a few of these symptoms I'm about to list, then you are probably having trouble with being consistent with potty training, and committing to the process, basically. And we're going to talk about how to remedy that as well.

So if your child is showing a lack of interest in the potty, now that is definitely a sign that we have a commitment issue from the parents. And I'm kind of a tough love kind of a gal, so I'm going to tell you like it is. If there is a commitment issue from the parents, then that is only up to you to fix in order for potty training to go forward smoothly. So a lot of what I do is not do us teaching about EC and potty training, a lot of what I do is helping with mindset, with parenting mindset. So if your child is showing a lack of interest, like they were super interested in the potty and now they're not at all, it's because you have a lack of interest or lack of faith in the process. And it might be unconscious, like how would you know this is happening? If you knew that was happening, you put would stop it, right? Right. So again, we're talking about potty training here, not EC.

Lack of interest with EC usually means that your child is doing something developmentally, a big task that they're trying to go through and you just have to stick with EC in order to get through it. Lack of interest with potty training is, you, and I'll talk about this in a second, might just need to start the process over and quickly go through what you've already covered.

But lack of interest is usually pointing right back, you point the finger at somebody and you got three fingers pointing back at you. Yeah, so that's something of a parenting issue. And the other reason you might know that you're having problems with potty training is because your child will go sometimes and won't go at other times. So that's a problem, they're being inconsistent. How do we address our children's inconsistency in potty training?

Well, usually they're inconsistent with part of potty training because there's some piece of the puzzle that they're missing, and it's almost impossible to figure out and pinpoint what that piece is, without just doing over. Again, like I just said another potty training experience from the beginning as if you've never done it, but it'll be a lot faster. Okay, here's the other thing, if we choose to be inconsistent as parents with potty training because we think is the gentle way, I have to tell you right now, that is not gentle. That is confusing. So when we just say, "You know what? In my heart, I really wish this could be over, but I've been told that I should be gentle and really slow and really level and even with my kid, and not push it at all," you're getting bad information that's usually from the big dive for companies, who really want you to fail. We talked about that last time.

So if you want to try to do the gentle thing that everybody's been telling you, then this will take 12 months. If you want to do it in a way that works, that our grandparents and great grandparents did it, this can happen in about 12 days. And I'm not going to give you an exact timeline, but I'm telling you that your mindset about whether you should be gentle, or not really does make a difference with potty training.

So if you're watching this or listening to this and you've got EC on your mind, and you're not even ready for potty training yet, that's fine. Just keep this in mind though, that if we start to drop the ball, it is up to us as parents to pick that ball back up because this is a gift to children. Being diaper free at a developmentally appropriate age, which is typically anywhere from 12 to 18 months, and if you're doing potty training, then as soon as you hear about potty training and you start to do it, is the time to do it, then you are honoring your baby.

Because mammals aren't born wanting to soil themselves, they're born signaling to the opposite of that. So we want to help them because we live in a diapering culture and we have been totally brainwashed. I'll just name it. So if you're here potty training a three or four-year-old, then you know that there has been something that has gotten in the way of your intuition as a parent, and what you felt like was right, and what the culture told you to do.

So it's not your fault. Now, even if you're dealing with a daycare, you can still be consistent with potty training. What you do in this case is you potty train for one weekend, potty train the next weekend, and you send them in a diaper backup in the middle, cloth if you can, especially when you have poop training down, you can send them in training pants. And I have Tiny Trainers, which are really absorbent and TinyUps are pull up covers that go over them, over at tinyundies.com if you need.

So when potty training and dealing with the daycare, you just do the immersive potty training. Maybe you can take one day off, two days, two weeks in a row, so you take two total days off. You do a three-day weekend of potty training the first weekend, a three-day weekend the next weekend, in between you send a back up. And then after that, you stop sending them in diapers. And typically, if you film a video of your file, doing it at home, the daycare will believe you.

I do have handouts on this. If you go to Go Diaper Free Daycare, you can get the handout for you and the handout for your daycare teacher. But if you're being inconsistent with potty training, because you believe that daycare has ruined your chances of potty training your child, like, "Why would I even bother because the daycare's not going to do it?" these are myths that are keeping you back.

There are absolutely ways around it and I'm telling you right now that you can get through that, and probably more easily than you thought. So something to look forward to. So again, if your child's showing lack of interest or being inconsistent with their pees and poops in the potty, here is the solution.

If you don't have my book, The Tiny Potty Training Book, that's the one for 18 months and up, you can get that at Go Diaper Free PT Book. That's P as in Paul, T as in Tom, Book. What I want you to do is to start over this potty training process. If you don't have my book, then get it, read it, set your schedule for it, and just follow it. Trust the process because it totally works. If you have already done potty training of any kind, including mine, and there's some gaps in learning there, and something's off, and there's inconsistency from you or your child, either one, and it's totally fine, we love you anyway. You can that you've made a mistake and you've been slacking on it.

Again, this is a gift and the longer you wait, the longer it takes. So let's just nip it in the bud. You start over until each step clicks. So you go through the whole potty training process again, as if you've never done it before. Even if you've done EC, if you've only done potty training and failed, great, you're here now, you get to fix it now. So do the whole potty training experience as outlined in my book exactly. That will fill in any kind of inconsistent gaps and weird stuff that's going on because we don't know what that is at all until we sit down and do the whole training again, and then mysteriously, the holes are filled.

The other thing I really want to recommend to you and leave you with to the day is to get some rest. I know it's hard, especially if your child is still not sleeping through the night, and if you're dealing with a two, three or four-year-old, who's waking up at night, wetting the bed, things like that. We do address nighttime training in my book as well. But get some rest. And the key to getting more rest is for you, the parent, to go to bed early. That is it. If you make it to bed early, you can get up before your child, you can do things that nourish you like prayer, light a candle, do some yoga, do some meditation, whatever works for you to recharge your batteries.

Take a shower before the kids wake up, or the kid wakes up. So get some rest. And my other recommendation for you to increase your consistency for potty training and everything else in your life is to exercise. So go on a walk with your child. If you're still baby wearing, wear them. If you're not, push them in the stroller. If you want to walk next to them, go find a trail, go hiking, get outside, and get your body moving. If you can't get outside because of the climate right now, all you have to do is lay down on your floor, with your child playing next to you or near you, and maybe they get on top of you like mine do. All you have to do is just move your spine, get on the ground and roll around a little bit. That counts as exercise, do one Sun Salutation from yoga, and I guarantee you your body will go, "Oh my gosh, I love this so much. Thank you."

Because when we get in a funk about parenting, usually our bodies get frozen and we don't move. And I think movement and good sleep is going to help you be a better mom. I know it will. It helps. It helps me and I'm five in right now, five children. So if you have my book, what I want to challenge you to do is to read it again, just the part of the potty training experience, phase one, step one, and start over. If you do not have my book, get it right now. And don't waste more time because it's going to tell you exactly what to do. And if you've had struggles with potty training, you're not going to know what to do. The other thing is, if you're not ready to get my book yet, and you just need your mind to be in at place, then get my 3-day Potty Training Primer.

And that, you just go to godiaperfree.com, click the older age group, 18 months and up, and it'll take you straight to my free 3-day email sequence, that will get you in the right mindset. And then maybe at that time, you'll be ready to get my book, maybe not, but at least you'll get the right mindset, which is again, so key. So I hope that this has helped you today. And I really hope that you can find some more consistency in potty training if that's something you're missing.

So go on over to the show notes right now, godiaperfree.com/167. And please leave a comment or ask a question there. And in the comments, I would love to know what is the one thing you're going to do today to get you and baby more consistent with potty training? I would love to know, so go on over to that link right now and leave a comment, please. And also, leave a review wherever you're listening to this podcast, because more people will find out about early potty training options if you do that. And when you do that, I thank you so much.

Thanks so much for are listening. This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.