How Shayla did EC with her baby: An interview with Hey Shayla!
When a friend told new-mom Shayla she should check out EC, Shayla said, “what on earth is that?” Hear Shayla’s EC journey (including the surprise pregnancy that started it all), her best EC hacks, plus loads of fun as Shayla and Andrea chat all things motherhood - ovulation cycles, childbirth, potty training - and of course, EC!
You will hear:
- Shayla's surprise entry into motherhood
- how shayla heard about EC (and met Andrea!)
- Shayla's EC hack for starting with a mobile baby
- how EC impacted Shayla's parenting
- what one thing has made a huge difference
- shayla's best piece of advice
Links and other resources mentioned today:
- Hey Shayla
- Shayla’s Instagram
- The Easy Start Guide for EC
- The Go Diaper Free Book
- Tiny Trainers
- Top Hat and Mini Potties
- My Days app
Download the Transcript
If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:
Transcript download: How Shayla did EC with her baby: An interview with Hey Shayla!
This is Episode 173, and today I am interviewing somebody awesome. Hey, Shayla. You can check out the show notes for today's episode, including the full written transcript, over at godiaperfree.com/173, where I'd also love for you to come by and make a comment, ask a question, whatever you want, when we're finished with this interview. Please enjoy.
Andrea Olson:
Hey you guys. So today I'm interviewing somebody again, totally out of form, but I am so excited about our guest today. Her name is Shayla Christine. You can find her at Hey Shayla, everywhere. I was doing some homework for my YouTube channel because I'm a good student and I'm trying to make it past 13,000 subscribers. It's just ridiculous that I don't know what I'm doing on YouTube. So I was like, "Cool, what's everybody else doing on YouTube?" And I came across Shayla and I realized ... So, she did an episode on EC and I was like, "Oh cool. This woman does EC." And then I watched it and she talked about my book.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I have to have you on the podcast." So welcome Shayla. Thank you for joining us today.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, of course, and I told you this earlier, but I was stoked that you reached out to me. I was like, The Andrea, the EC legend wants to interview me on my EC process? This is so exciting.
Andrea Olson:
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We're both like, "Ooh, I got fan girl stuff."
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. Fact.
Andrea Olson:
And we were talking about how we moms need other human beings desperately. So it's so cool to be able to be on together and Shayla is starting up, or has started a podcast.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. Is it also, Hey Shayla?
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, Hey Shayla. I would like to keep it very simple.
Andrea Olson:
I love it. You're so predictable. I love it, although, I know you're not predictable.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
That's what I love about your channel. So, you guys, definitely drop everything and go on to YouTube after this podcast and check out Shayla because she has really ... I just find you really funny. And I like the way that you talk about mom stuff. And I also love the surprise of being pregnant that you shared with your partner. Like when you got pregnant, can you just share with our audience who hasn't seen that, how you told him that you were.
Shayla Christine:
okay. So I just announced my second pregnancy. So are we talking about probably the-
Andrea Olson:
The first one.
Shayla Christine:
In a booth?
Andrea Olson:
Let’s the first one and then let's do the second one.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. So I found out because I was doing the natural method and my mom was like, "That's a good way to get pregnant." I was like, "No, no mom, I've got this figured out." Well, I didn't.
Andrea Olson:
I got pregnant two times by the natural method.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, she was right, it is a good way to get pregnant. Yeah. So, that happened and we went to a cafe and I was like, "I'm just going to pretend like I'm having him watch this video for me quickly," because he used to proof my videos and be like, "This part's boring, this part's great," whatever. So I'm having him do it and it's like, "So, I'm on the natural method and now I'm pregnant. What do you think Seth?" And he just ... His face drops and he is mortified and then he absorbs it and then he is excited and it ... I mean anyone who gets that news ... Me, when I get that news, it's like, oh ..." Do we ... Can we say the S-H-I-T word?
Andrea Olson:
I mean, we could ... Well, now all the toddlers listening are going to spell it, I think so, Shayla.
Shayla Christine:
Oh, okay. Well-
Andrea Olson:
I probably have cursed on the podcast.
Shayla Christine:
I kind of felt like that was, yeah.
Andrea Olson:
I just ... That's who I am.
Shayla Christine:
But that's how you feel when you first enter you're pregnant. You're like ... Well, some people. Some people are like crying, ecstatically. Some people are like, "Oh, here we are." That was me. So unfortunately for him, I got it on film. And he was just like, "Oh my gosh. And I was like, yeah, here we go," ha ha ha.
Andrea Olson:
"Oh, surprise." I love-
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
You guys, she showed him a video of her telling him that she's pregnant, pretending like it was just a YouTube video she was putting up and filmed it and they're at a cafe or something, which is like public. I love it.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. He was pretty shocked.
Andrea Olson:
... definitely have to check it out. I love-
Shayla Christine:
But that video got so much flack. People were like, "She trapped him. He's not excited. He's so ..." And he is like, why are people saying that? I feel like I'm really excited." And I was like, "Yeah, it's because I caught you." Like, most people when they find out, and they're not expecting it ... Because I had ... I was on top of it, I was doing the natural method. I knew we weren't going to get pregnant. So, yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Did you just learn your lesson? Oh, so wait, then you got pregnant again. Was that one also a surprise?
Shayla Christine:
No, that was very intentional because I was breastfeeding, so ... Not aggressively ... exclusively, that I had to like night wean to get my period back at 13 months, and then was like, "Okay, let's start trying." And that was ... I mean, I overshare all the time, but I ovulated on day 30. So I was like waiting for the next period. I was like, "Okay, I haven't got it yet." And then I was all of a sudden on day 47, I took another pregnancy test and I was like, "Okay, now I get to surprise him again."
Andrea Olson:
so fertile.
Shayla Christine:
... because ... Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
You're like, "I'm so fertile, I ..." Now, next time, you know that it'll be very easy as well.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
And I think it happens sooner each time. Even while I was breastfeeding, like with my fifth one, I was having my ex-husband, now ... I was like, "Okay, you have to get a vasectomy because I literally cannot handle any more people saying my name."
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. I don't want a chorus.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. It's like, this is a lot of ... a huge chorus. So, I told him, "You got to get a ..." He's like, "Okay, I'll get a vasectomy." He delayed and then procrastinated, and finally scheduled it. He got it, six months postpartum with Twyla. And I was still exclusively breastfeeding day and night. And then the seventh month comes around and I had my period again for the first time.
Shayla Christine:
Weird.
Andrea Olson:
Barely missed. Yeah, and so, a long time ago when I had first ... And this is important for everybody listening. Please know that this lesson is very important. I met this woman who was in her 60s at a festival when my first was born and he was a month old. I was like, "Yeah, I'm breastfeeding, so I'm not going to conceive again. You know, it's supposed to be bulletproof." And she goes, "Oh no, I had all five of my children. I conceived at five weeks postpartum. I was breastfeeding day and night. That is not true." Everybody listening, do you hear me? You can get pregnant even if you are breastfeeding day and night.
Shayla Christine:
But, I don't know what's more shocking there, that you can get pregnant breastfeeding day or night, or that she got pregnant at five weeks postpartum.
Andrea Olson:
Every time for five in a row. That's like massive.
Shayla Christine:
That's like five Irish twins.
Andrea Olson:
Irish quintuplets.
Shayla Christine:
Oh my gosh, you're right.
Andrea Olson:
Let’s have a drink of water.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, right?
Andrea Olson:
Okay. Now, you guys all tuned in to listen about EC and we've talked about some other things that I think are very helpful for you or we wouldn't have shared them.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Okay. It's meant to be. Now, I love this. And so you told daddy about it for number two, how did you do this one?
Shayla Christine:
I pretended like I was doing a TikTok and I was like, "Okay, I'm going to do a dance and you're going to copy me." So, I did like shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, go. But he was late from work that day. So, he got home late and I was like, "Can you do this TikTok with me?" And he was like, "Are you kidding me?" And I was like, "I know, I wouldn't ask if I really didn't need your help." And he is like, "Can't you do it by yourself?" But he got it together, and if you watch this video, he shimmies like he means it. And he is just ... He was a trooper. So then I did like the 70s movie where you put your hand down by your hip and then up in the air. And I grabbed the pregnancy test out of my pocket and handed it to him and he didn't see it at first, but then he saw and he was like, "Wait, what ... I thought ..." And I was like, "I know, I don't know. Yeah." And he was like ... He was just so excited. So yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Oh…Yay!
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. I was glad that I got to surprise him.
Andrea Olson:
Oh my gosh, that's ... Those are so creative. I can't wait to see what else pops up on your channel. So tell me though first, so obviously your channel wasn't about parenting when you started it, it was about travel blogging, right?
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. Yeah. I started traveling full-time in 2015 and was just ... My friends were like, "You should start a blog and talk about where you are so we can keep track of you." And I was like, "I don't like writing so, no." And they were like, "Oh, well video? And I was like, "I guess I could try video." And I just started ... I just committed to doing it once a week. And mostly it was just to nobody in the beginning, like I'm just posting and like, my grandma's like, "That's really cool what you did this week." And I'm like, "Thanks, Grandma." And then like, I had to learn all the YouTube things. And then when I became pregnant, it was like COVID and pregnancy and all the things. And I was like, "I'm not traveling anytime in the near future. And I'm, moming pretty much full-time, so I'm just going to hard switch to moming," and just did it and jumped ... And like, everyone's trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant during COVID right now. So my audience is just like, "Okay. Yeah, cool. I just had a baby too." Or, like, new people would come ...
Andrea Olson:
oh babies.
Shayla Christine:
It was like the perfect time to switch to mom content.
Andrea Olson:
Nice. Oh, I love it so much. So you and I have a lot of similar mom parenting habits and styles. Like, what are the things you do? You exclusively breastfeed. What else? What other hippy things?
Shayla Christine:
Floor bed.
Andrea Olson:
Floor bed. Cool.
Shayla Christine:
Yep. The EC, the cloth diapering, you know, all the weird-
Andrea Olson:
Babywearing.
Shayla Christine:
Yep. She didn't like it a lot, but the second one better like it, because I think that's the only way you survive when you have more than one is just to wear them constantly.
Andrea Olson:
Wait, you're pregnant right now, right?
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
How far along?
Shayla Christine:
Halfway, 21 weeks.
Andrea Olson:
Halfway, that's so awesome.
Shayla Christine:
I know.
Andrea Olson:
Okay. Be sure to let me send you some stuff. Okay? Because Tiny Undies, as you guys all know, we have all the things
Shayla Christine:
I just stocked up on the tiny trainers and she loves them. She's like undies, undies, but she pooped in them the other day. And that's not my favorite thing.
Andrea Olson:
That's not easy to clean up.
Shayla Christine:
No, but she ... That's like the only one I've had in the past month-
Andrea Olson:
Oh
Shayla Christine:
... in anything, in diapers, in nothing. Yeah, so I'll take it.
Andrea Olson:
Hallelujah. Okay. So let's cover this now. So, how did you hear about EC?
Shayla Christine:
When I think one of my followers was just like, "Oh, you're good at cloth diaper. You should EC." And I was like, "What the heck is EC?" And so I looked it up and then I found you and I was like, "Okay." And I got the book and I got the potty and I got ... What else did I get? I don't remember. I used like a ... Should I just go into it, how I-
Andrea Olson:
Yeah-
Shayla Christine:
... all started
Andrea Olson:
... go for it. Yeah.
Shayla Christine:
Okay. So I'm reading the book and it's like, look for cues. And I was like, "Cues, what are you talking about?" But also when she was a newborn, I would watch her, just like her nose would start to turn red and she would kind of like bear down and then she would empty herself in her diaper. And I was like, "Well, that's kind of a cue, I guess." But it's so overwhelming when you first bring this baby home. So I was like, "I can't ..." I didn't start cloth diapering for a while. I didn't start EC until four months, during the four month sleep regression. So I was like, "Forget it, we're stopping this. I can't do this right now."
Shayla Christine:
And then I restarted at six months and it was actually Seth, and I think he just didn't want to deal with poopy diapers because he's like, "Let's try that again." And I was like, "Okay, cool." So I got a waterproof crib sheet and I put that on the floor and just would like watch her. But she was already mobile. So I'm trying to keep her on this crib sheet and she's running around with no diaper on and I'm like, "How do people do this? What did you mean to look for cues?" Like, oh, they might be like, not moving and then they squirm or they might squirm and then they stop moving. I was like, I can't do it. So I didn't look for cues anymore.
Andrea Olson:
Good.
Shayla Christine:
I was like-
Andrea Olson:
... six months, you guys, like that's really actually wise, good
Shayla Christine:
Okay, good.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah.
Shayla Christine:
But I didn't want to quit. I was like, "I can't do this, but I'll try these like transitions." I'm saying it like quoting. This is crazy, this is your information. So, then it's like, "Try these transitions of like when you come out of the car or after a walk or after a nap or after you feed them or any transition time," boom. That was it. Like I was catching them like crazy. I was like, "Okay, breastfeeding," when I would breastfeed her, that's when she would go. I'm like, "What is ..." I've got the potty as I'm breastfeeding her, sitting on the floor and I'm like, "Hey, we did it. We caught one," and it's-
Andrea Olson:
Yay,
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, it was ... So, the transitions were super helpful. And I just wasn't ... I wasn't trying to potty train, which is kind of what you say. You're just like, you're the one who's getting trained. You're trying to figure when this baby needs to go potty to help them out, so they don't have to sit in a wet diaper, poopy diaper. So it was very low stress for us. So when we missed one, I was like, "No big deal. We'll change the diaper. And since it's cloth, anyway, we'll just throw in the wash. No big deal." And when we caught him, it was like a celebration and yeah, I don't know. That's kind of how it started. So, we started ... Yeah, so there was kind of a couple bumps in the road, but we were like, "Okay, we're just going to keep trying and seeing what we find," and then we'd find something. And then again, you say this, like, "They'll go on strike." And they're like, "Not doing that anymore." So we went through the strikes of not doing it and just consistently kept doing it. And then she got over the strike and then we kept going and yeah.
Andrea Olson:
That's called staying the course.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Like you just go, you start as you mean to go on you. You're like, "Okay, four months we're starting. And then we have little bumps and you just kept at, well when Seth intervened and you guys started
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, and I'm glad that he did, yeah.
Andrea Olson:
... great. Yeah, that's awesome. That even happened with my second. At eight months old, I was like, "We aren't even doing EC with her at all. I am a fraud, I’m gonna get fired." And sure enough, we both were like, "Oh, okay, let's figure this out." She started signing. She was just waiting for us.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
That's literally what it is. They're waiting for us. And then you have to find out what works for your family. Are the signals going to work? Is natural timing, like how often do they go? Some people can never find that out.
Shayla Christine:
Right, yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Great. Nope. Then don't do it. Transition times worked for you. And everybody listening, if your baby doesn't signal or you don't know their timing, it still works. If you just ... You just look at other ... You just keep ... Stay creative and stick with it. And if you stick with it, you're just offering, you're not forcing or pressuring. You're just saying, "No, we're actually going to continue to do this, just like we're going to continue to breastfeed. We're going to continue to make sure you get naps, or, we're going to continue to clothe you." It's literally that simple.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah.
Shayla Christine:
And it is just offering, and even now, because the transition to ... I was actually going to ask you this. We use like a toilet seat now. It was a hand-me-down from my nephew, so it's like a little paw patrol thing that sits on the toilet. That was a game changer because I didn't have to ... I could flush it all down the toilet.
Andrea Olson:
Yes, it just dumps and wash a Mini Potty or a TTop Hat Potty
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, so that's ... So she knows though because I'll be like, "Do you have to go potty?" And it's always, "No. Nah, no," unless ... She can't tell quite yet between and farts and poops. So you'll hear her fart a couple times and then she'll do one, she'll look at me with big eyes, she'll go, "Potty, potty, potty." I'm like, "Oh this is the one." So we go, but as soon as I put the paw patrol potty on the toilet, if she says, no, I know she doesn't have to go because I used to put her on it and she would just sit there or like squirm off of it. But if I put it on and she stands there and waits for me to like take off her diaper, I'm like, "Oh, okay, we're going. This is it." And then I set her on there.
Andrea Olson:
How old is she now?
Shayla Christine:
19 months.
Andrea Olson:
Awesome.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Okay. Well I think you guys are doing a fantastic job.
Shayla Christine:
Thanks.
Andrea Olson:
That's my judgment for you-
Shayla Christine:
Well, good.
Andrea Olson:
... my positive judgment. How has the experience been for you so far? Would you say that it's overall been positive, negative, neutral? What do you think?
Shayla Christine:
I think it's been great. I try and tell people all the time and that's ... And I tell people exactly kind of what I'm saying, "Just try it, and if this doesn't work, then try something else. If this doesn't work, try something else." I tried to give it to my neighbor. My neighbor's, like, "Yeah. I don't know. We're just ... I think ..." I'm like, "Yo, you keep cleaning your poopy diapers, I don't care. I'm just saying this is great. Aliya likes it." Especially with cloth diapering, because they do cloth diapering. The EC/cloth diapering combo is like money.
Andrea Olson:
It makes so much sense. Why would you love doing that, cleaning the cloth diaper, poop off a cloth diaper? So you're actually supposed to clean poop off of a disposable too, before you throw it away.
Shayla Christine:
Oh, what?
Andrea Olson:
That's what it says on the package.
Shayla Christine:
What?
Andrea Olson:
You're supposed to dump it before you throw it away.
Shayla Christine:
Makes sense.
Andrea Olson:
Does anybody do that though?
Shayla Christine:
No.
Andrea Olson:
No. Nobody does it. But with cloth diapers, you kind of have to.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
And, if you're cloth diapering and you're on the fence about doing EC, just do it. Babies ... Would you say that your baby kind of synced up with you and was like, "Cool I'm on board"?
Shayla Christine:
Yes. And that's and I read that in your book. It's like, "Babies don't want to sit in their poop. Just like how you don't want to sit in your poop." And I definitely felt that way, because even now she'll tell me, "Change it, change it, change my diaper." And I'm like "You know that you're peeing ..." Or, she'll tell me after she goes. So she'll be like, "Potty, potty." And I look at her little tiny undies and they're wet and I'm like, "Okay, you're getting it. Now we need to know before."
Andrea Olson:
The right order
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, right.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah, the order, that happens naturally. So daytime, are you guys out of diapers? Are you in undies full-time during the day now or
Shayla Christine:
No, we're doing cloth mostly.
Andrea Olson:
Okay.
Shayla Christine:
And we just ... because I got the black Friday sale, so I just got all the undies.
Andrea Olson:
You've got all the undies, you're equipped. You've been doing great. So what is holding you back? And this is the reason I'm asking Shayla is because I like to ask everybody this. What is holding you back from stopping using the diapers during the day?
Shayla Christine:
Just committing. Like, that's the plan. Now that we have these tiny undies, because how many would you recommend having? I have nine. I feel like that's not quite enough.
Andrea Olson:
I usually have a dozen, but nine is great. Nine will get you started. And then you can also go commando in between like if you run out of underwear for the day, just put them in pants, or put her in pants with no underwear.
Shayla Christine:
I like the Tiny Undies, everyone listening, because they don't get all over the floor. They're not waterproof, but they are contained.
Andrea Olson:
Oh, the Tiny Trainers.
Shayla Christine:
Yes, the Tiny Trainers.
Andrea Olson:
Yes.
Shayla Christine:
Yes.
Andrea Olson:
Absolutely.
Shayla Christine:
That's amazing.
Andrea Olson:
And here's the thing, if that is all that's holding you back is just committing and now you've got the tools, you guys, Shayla is going to do it.
Shayla Christine:
I'm going to do it.
Andrea Olson:
Her last daytime diaper.
Shayla Christine:
And I'm on board and it's ... I think it's mostly like you have the babysitter over and then they have to kind of be on track. And it's, if I have the energy now that I'm pregnant to like stay focused and like do the thing. I'm definitely onboard and I'm equipping myself with all the things that I need to do, and then I ... It's like weaning breastfeeding. You're like, "Yeah, we're going to wean soon." "Yeah. Yeah. No, no, husband, I agree. We should probably wean." "Yeah. Okay." And then like one day you're like, "Okay, this is the day we're doing it." Or, like, "This Friday is the day we're starting."
Andrea Olson:
Yeah, it's almost as random as that. Like, "I just need to set a date and that
Shayla Christine:
Yes, exactly.
Andrea Olson:
"I'm going to do it on December 31st, and that is it. New year, we will have no more diapers," whatever it is, just it's awesome. And your baby rises to the occasion every time and it is amazing.
Shayla Christine:
I believe that.
Andrea Olson:
It literally is up to us and us going, "Okay, I'm pregnant. I'm having a hard time. What works for me and what doesn't?" Now, I do want to share with the audience that if your baby is totally using the diaper as a toilet and really prefers that, if you get to that point, that's when you know you need to stop using those daytime diapers immediately, when they start to relax into it and go, "Oh, I'm just going to use this because it's on me," which generally is a boy thing, I have to say-
Shayla Christine:
Funny.
Andrea Olson:
... because they're like, "Ooh, a tool I'm just going to use this tool." And a lot of husbands are like that too. They're like, "Let's use the tool as the toilet instead." And it's like, "No, you're going to mess this up." But, that's sort of our little cue as parents to go, "Okay, we need to stop using these diapers." So, it can be at 11 months, some people do it at like nine months, some people do it at 14 months, but it doesn't matter, as long as it works for your family, that is the most important thing.
Shayla Christine:
Well, and that's the goal is by the time this next baby comes, which is 24 months, but we're getting there.
Andrea Olson:
Oh, you're going to be so fine, way before.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, I know. That's kind of how I feel too. But, okay, question.
Andrea Olson:
Yes.
Shayla Christine:
We've always said like, "Oh you did it, you went potty," blah blah blah blah blah. But now I'm like, "Okay, we're old enough to say, 'Good job'"?
Andrea Olson:
You can say good job if you want to.
Shayla Christine:
Okay.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah.
Shayla Christine:
But not in the beginning, right? It's like the intrinsic/extrinsic motivation.
Andrea Olson:
So I do think ... What do I say? Yeah, I don't say, "Good girl," I say, "Good job." There's a difference. So, you're making a judgment about them as a person, when you say a good girl or good boy, like you would with a puppy. Like with my puppy, I say, "Good girl," because she's a dog and that's just fine.
Shayla Christine:
I'm not going to hurt her lifetime self-esteem.
Andrea Olson:
I know, I'm not going to ruin my dog's self and she's one, she's fine. But with a baby, we can say, "Good job," and, "you did it," and "awesome," and, "that was great," like we work together, go team. But saying good girl or good boy, is what I stay away from. So I've kind of gone back and forth a little bit. And just having been an experienced mom of five now where I'm now able ... I'm qualified to give advice on pretty much anything baby, because I know better than I did when I had one. But basically, yeah, it doesn't ... Like, I don't care if you say, "Good job," from the very beginning at this point. What I do know is like, what's behind it? What are you trying to communicate with your baby? That they are good for doing it or that, that was, Great teamwork and we did it"? You know?
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
So, just say what you mean, and if it comes out like that, sometimes, who cares
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. But she ... Well, and now-
Andrea Olson:
... you're filming it for YouTube, so people are watching, but most people, nobody's watching.
Shayla Christine:
True. Yes. Well, and because every time she pees, I go, "Yay." And I clap, so now she pees, and she goes, "Yay."
Andrea Olson:
Oh, totally-
Shayla Christine:
And I'm like, "That's right."
Andrea Olson:
best thing ever.
Shayla Christine:
Oh, she's ... Oh, is it so weird? I love watching her poop faces, that's so weird.
Andrea Olson:
So funny.
Shayla Christine:
She like grunts down and gets this like red nose. And I'm like, "You're the cutest thing in the whole wide world."
Andrea Olson:
At graduations and weddings for all five of mine, I'm whipping those photos out, man, because they're the funniest ever.
Shayla Christine:
Oh, that's so funny.
Andrea Olson:
And hopefully ... I heard that there's a way, like, if my kids work for me on any of my stuff for my business, that I can pay them tax free and invest that money. So I'll just be like, "I'm sharing this picture and here's a million."
Shayla Christine:
Yes. Yeah. "Your photo has been on my website for the past 18 years-"
Andrea Olson:
"interest, here you go. Here's your-"
Shayla Christine:
That's a thing. I've talked to accountants, who's like, "If your photo's on the website, you get to pay yourself as a model-"
Andrea Olson:
Yes.
Shayla Christine:
an income." And you're like, "What?"
Andrea Olson:
I mean, come on, why not?
Shayla Christine:
Right? Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Okay. So the experience has been positive.
Shayla Christine:
Yes.
Andrea Olson:
You've got another baby on the way, your goal is to be out of diapers by 24 months. And remember, at night you can still use a backup. And again, nobody's watching, unless you are just telling everybody about it, which is fine. Sometimes having people watch or know about it, it's like an accountability partner. So cool, we can do that. I do want to know, how did EC jive with the other ways that you have chosen to raise your baby? Like, with sleep, have you noticed any kind of impact with nursing or sleeping or baby wearing or any of that? Or has it been pretty cohesive, like, "Hey, it's just a part of what we do"?
Shayla Christine:
I don't know that I understand, but it does feel like the second part
Andrea Olson:
Has EC disturbed sleep?
Shayla Christine:
Okay, so we never did it at night because I was always afraid I was going to wake her up more.
Andrea Olson:
Exactly. Right, right. Smart.
Shayla Christine:
Is that a ... Okay. I don't know. I was like ... But, it felt very cohesive because kind of, my approach was like connection, understanding, communication. We did sign language. We did all of the things and it was just co-sleeping. Everything was just like, "Okay, we're a team, it's you and I, we've got this." Like, "I'm going to help you fall asleep." Even though I'm not sleep training, "We're doing that and I feel good about it. We're going to nurse to sleep. We're going to do the breastfeeding thing because I feel like I'm ..." And it wasn't this huge bond thing, but it was like, "I'm doing this for your health." All the things, this was just added on of like, "This is just another way that we connect, another way that we communicate, another way that I try and help you and understand." And it just ... Everything that I read in your book made so much sense of just, "This is what other countries do. This is not that bizarre."
Andrea Olson:
Yeah, it's natural. Some people call it species specific, so like, we're going with the way our babies operate and work. Like, it's just a natural and organic way of raising a baby, but it's also responsive parenting. So you're basically like, "Hey, what do you need? Okay, cool. I'm the one who's supposed to help you do that." You're not doing it for them, but you're doing it together.
Shayla Christine:
Yep. Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
You guys should definitely watch her channel. I love the way she does everything. It's like, "Hey, we're just going to be real here."
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
And this is what works and-
Shayla Christine:
Well, and I think that's what's important is like, because if somebody reads a book and they're like, "Oh, I tried the cues and it didn't work for me, so I quit." Like, "No, you don't have to quit. Just don't do that, try something else." And that's why I do try and be honest because it's like, "Yeah, this was really hard at first. And then we did this and it made it easier." I just, I don't know, like that. I just try and be honest about what happened, so that people don't feel like they're a failure if it didn't work the first time. I'm like, "No."
Andrea Olson:
I know, because so many people are like, "Oh, everything's great. And here's a day in the life with a newborn." I'm like, "What? That's a day in the life with what newborn?"
Shayla Christine:
And how do you ... I can't do a day in the life. I've tried it before. And I'm like, you just have your camera with you all the time, and then you're just ... I don't know.
Andrea Olson:
I know.
Shayla Christine:
Kudos.
Andrea Olson:
Hey, whatever, that's out there, you don't have to do it. So, what would you say is the one thing that you've done with your EC practice that has made like a huge positive difference, if you could think of something that you guys have done?
Shayla Christine:
Positive difference with just overall?
Andrea Olson:
Well, yeah, overall, or with the pottying part, like what-
Shayla Christine:
I do think that when we switched to transitions, it really started to flow.
It was like every single morning when she first woke up, 90% of the time I got to potty. And when we would come out of the ... I did it outside one time and I was just astounded that she like peed next to the car. But like there was, if I could ... if it had been a while and she was still dry and I was like, "Okay, well, we should try and potty," and then she would go. It was just the transition times that really made everything click. And I was like, "Okay, I kind of have an idea of when we need to do this. Or, if there is no transitions because it's my first trimester, we've been watching TV for a few hours . Yeah. Now we need ... Yeah, exactly. Let's try and let's ... It's just to keep introducing with no stress.
Andrea Olson:
Right.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
It's just like the routine. You're just ... You're basically pegging it on habits you already have. I'm already going to get out of the car to go in this place, so let's try.
Shayla Christine:
"I need to feed you."
Andrea Olson:
Yeah, "I need to feed you."
Shayla Christine:
"We'll try after that."
Andrea Olson:
"I just want you to not fuss for a little while and so, I can watch this show and veg out in front of Netflix because I'm pregnant. So we're going to go potty right now so we can relax for a couple hours."
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
It can be as selfish as that.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
I love it. Well, so where can people find you? Where are you on all the things?
Shayla Christine:
Hey Shayla, on everything. So Instagram is where I am daily, just like on stories talking about random stuff. The podcast is what I started because I have all ... Because I have this following, people send me people and I start following you. And I start following this person. And then I reach out to them and I'm like, "Hey, can I interview you?" And I love talking with people. I love learning new things. I love connecting with people. And so I get to learn all those things and then share them with people on my podcast. And then my YouTube is just where I get to tell stories, and, "Oh, these are good things for ..." I don't know, I just did one on like, things that I'll do differently with baby number two and all of-
Andrea Olson:
Ooh…what are you going to do differently with baby number two?
Shayla Christine:
Honestly, yeah, I don't know. Now that I'm out of the breastfeeding thing, I was like, "We are doing a bottle for sure because Aliya never took a bottle and that was like so difficult for ... Oh my gosh.
Andrea Olson:
You're basically trapped.
Shayla Christine:
Yes, that's exactly what it is. But, now I'm like ... But then I had a friend come over with a bottle, and I was like, "So you had to pump that milk and then store it and then bring it over here. And then you have to wash that bottle. Like that's ..."
Andrea Olson:
Some effort, there is a little effort, but you get a little bit of freedom.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, more than a three hour break. Yeah, that's great.
Andrea Olson:
It's worth trying.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, that was, I think one of the main ones, but I still think we're going to do the floor bed and the co-sleeping and there's a lot of stuff that we'll do ... Oh the purple push, that's kind of a weird one, but like, I did hypnobirthing during my labor, so I listened to this meditation. They say it's not meditation, it's hypnosis, whatever. But at the end they're like, "Okay, push, push, push." And this book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is like my Bible for labor.
Andrea Olson:
I love that book.
Shayla Christine:
Oh, it's ... Every pregnant person should read that. Regardless if you want an epidural, C-section, just read. But they say that the uterus does 90% of the job. And in my video, I'm like, "If any of us have significant others, men specifically, who take 45 minutes to poop, you could probably talk to them about this because they don't think that you should push. You just kind of wait for it to come. And then wait and that's how you should labor. So you just wait for that baby to come down and then you let your uterus do 90%. And then you just do a little push. If you're straining and you're getting the purple face, purple push, you're doing too much work. Just let that baby work down."
Andrea Olson:
Totally, you can massively hurt yourself. Like, I just went through a bunch of public floor therapy over the last two years.
Shayla Christine:
Good for you. Oh, it was ... Nobody told me I should do it. And you really-
Andrea Olson:
Right. like, you should literally do it after every baby. You just should. I did it after baby five. And luckily I didn't have any massive damage, but I definitely had pain during sex. And it was just so bad that I didn't even want to have it, and it’s probably part of the reason we got divorced. But I definitely had some, like ... They do into internal massage, they do all this stuff. And then you figure out how to engage the transverse abdominus, all this stuff, to just get back to as much normal as possible. You guys definitely check out pelvic floor therapy. The person who does it in person will go inside and do all the work and like loosen up those muscles. But, you can massively hurt yourself from pushing. I pushed for four hours with my first baby. You guys, it was 17 hour labor. I had contractions like, every 90 seconds or every 60 seconds, it was terrible.
Shayla Christine:
Oh my gosh.
Andrea Olson:
And I had midwives just like managing everything and bless them, I love them, but they were way too
Shayla Christine:
Involved. Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Involved. And then I had almost unassisted birth, four hour labor. Then I had an unassisted birth, 75 minutes. Amazing. Easy. Like what you just described, I felt his head going all the way down. And I just had my hand inside the whole time at the end. And it was just like-
Shayla Christine:
wild.
Andrea Olson:
... very ... My body did it. The next one, I had a four hour labor. I didn't know how to pop my own water, so I just went in and 30 minutes, popped out a baby.
Shayla Christine:
Wow.
Andrea Olson:
They all let me save my placenta, the two hospital births. And then my fifth labor, it was unassisted. And I had finished the manuscript for my unassisted birth book right before Twyla was born. So that one was, I literally put in her baby blanket to the wash. And when it came out of the dryer, she was there.
Shayla Christine:
Oh my gosh.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. And that was, I birthed into my super deep, awesome tub that I got for birthing, like-
Shayla Christine:
Wow.
Andrea Olson:
in my bathroom. And then I birthed her into that and I literally ... I did push, but I pushed when my body said-
Shayla Christine:
"Now."
Andrea Olson:
... "Do it." And I finally had that experience. Oh, Shayla, let me tell you, it was like a dream. It was like ... It wasn't painful. It was just like totally in alignment with how we were built.
Shayla Christine:
Right. Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
I want to send you that book too.
Shayla Christine:
Okay.
Andrea Olson:
It's Brave New Birth. It just came out and, really, I just wrote it because I wanted a manual for myself.
Shayla Christine:
Yes.
Andrea Olson:
And I figured out how to dilate quickly and how to make it just like super smooth. And it can be used for a not unassisted birth. It can be used for hospital births, whatever. But it's so important to just step aside and disassociate a little bit, but also like, "I'm here when my body needs me, just tell me what to do."
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. And that's what ... Ina May, she's like, "People have given birth in comas because your body just does it." And so you kind of have to just get out of your own head because it's the fear. There's a-
Andrea Olson:
Is fear. Fear makes tension. Tension makes pain.
Shayla Christine:
Yes. But the fear it's like, it puts you in fight or flight, so your cervix goes, "It's not safe to do this here," but your uterus is like, "It's go time," pain.
Andrea Olson:
Okay. Now, I'm going to relate this to EC. When you put your baby on the potty and you leave the room and they have privacy, sometimes when they cry and cry on the potty, you just leave the room and they'll actually go when you're gone, because they're not being watched. And somebody I studied for my birth book a lot was Michel Odent and he wrote this book on birth and breastfeeding. And he is such a champion of like, "This is the way you're made and this is normal. But the number one thing you need is privacy. So put a towel-"
Shayla Christine:
Interesting.
Andrea Olson:
... "over your face if you need to, so nobody can see you and your cervix will open up so fast."
Shayla Christine:
Wild. Well, that's what she said. She's like, "Imagine somebody putting a bowl in the middle of a room of people and saying, 'Poop in the bowl.'" You can't do it. Yeah, exactly.
Andrea Olson:
"Have an orgasm-
Shayla Christine:
Aliya-
Andrea Olson:
... "in front of everybody."
Shayla Christine:
... she takes the curtain and she covers her head. But, she'll also be like-
Andrea Olson:
My kids did that too.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah. She'll be like, "Dad, come sit down, come sit down." And then it's like a little party in the bathroom, like with all of us. So she goes between like ... But I will-
Andrea Olson:
When giving birth, you might want company in one moment and then the next moment you're like, "Don't look at me. Don't look at me." My poor husband, he was actually ... like, I got to give it to him, he was great during birth. He was totally in service during birth.
Shayla Christine:
That's good.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. But like it took us five labors to really get it, to really get it. Now I'm like, "I want another baby, but I don't have a husband. Shoot, No, I'm just kidding.
Shayla Christine:
Stop.
Andrea Olson:
Just kidding.
Shayla Christine:
Oh my gosh.
Andrea Olson:
Okay. So are you going to have more after this baby? That's my last question for you?
Shayla Christine:
I don't think so. I think ... Well, because we were between two and three and we just went on a trip because we were travelers. We like to travel and go places, and we bought a tank of a car seat. Like this car seat weighs 80 pound or something. So Seth is carrying the car seat. I'm carrying the baby. I'm carrying all the things. So we're just going on like a weekend trip to Arizona. And Seth is like, "We're stopping it. I'm getting a vasectomy after two." And I was like, "This is a conversation, first of all, you don't just get to get a vasectomy." He's like, "No, no." And the first trimester I was insanely emotional, like sobbing myself to sleep because I don't know, life was overwhelming. I couldn't really pinpoint it. Hormones, hormones are
Andrea Olson:
hormones.
Shayla Christine:
So, he's like, "I don't think we should do another pregnancy. I don't think we should do another ..." And I'm like, "Well, maybe because then we can ..." My mom ... There was two of us. She's like, "Your dad grabbed one hand. I grab one hand and we could just go." So, three feels very familial to me, even though I only had two growing up, but two feels manageable.
Andrea Olson:
Manageable.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
Well, I will tell you something from all ... I know a lot of moms who have 12 babies, 10 babies, eight babies. They're all in the homeschooling community out here, like massive baby makers. They all say, and I would have to agree that the fourth is the easiest. So number one, you're just like, "Whoa, but the breaks on my life. Who am I?" Number two is like, "Okay, I'm a little overwhelmed, but at least I can give you one and I can have the other one. We can do this. But it's crazy." Three is like, "Oh my gosh, we're outnumbered. And it's nuts." And then by the fourth one, because they're not all the same age, you're just like, "Oh another pretty face."
Shayla Christine:
Acceptance.
Andrea Olson:
"Oh another pretty face. Oh, I actually know what I'm doing now." And they're older, so they kind of take care of the younger ones too.
Shayla Christine:
Right. Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
And then you have like this brood and it is chaos sometimes. And sometimes it's just like the most beautiful ... Last year, around the Christmas tree I walk in and they're all singing Oh Christmas Tree, holding hands-
Shayla Christine:
What?
Andrea Olson:
... like spontaneously around it. I'm like-
Shayla Christine:
What?
Andrea Olson:
... "Oh my gosh, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen.”
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, "What is my life right now?" That's insane.
Shayla Christine:
I believe that, and I've heard after-
Andrea Olson:
I have earplugs, they're called Loops and I definitely put them in because it's a lot of input for me and I'm very sensitive.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
But, I think if you're going to go for big family, go for four more and if you're not, two is perfect.
Shayla Christine:
Right.
Andrea Olson:
Oh, man.
Shayla Christine:
Don't stop at the overwhelm- overwhelm.
Andrea Olson:
Three is-
Shayla Christine:
Don't stop at that number.
Andrea Olson:
Oh, don't stop at three, oh, no,
Shayla Christine:
Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. So, it's still up in the air, but we're thinking two for now, which is weird I guess, but-
Andrea Olson:
Well, leave the door open. Tell him not to get cut, "Come on, just in case."
Shayla Christine:
I know. I know. Don't worry. I'll just ... I'll track it naturally.
Andrea Olson:
Right?
Shayla Christine:
It'll be fine.
Andrea Olson:
That works so well.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
I will tell you ... And I want everybody listening to know this ... there is an app called My Days and it's awesome. It tracks everything for you. And if you're trying to get pregnant, I got pregnant instantly three times with this. It has a mapping of your temperature, and you do a basal thermometer in your anus every morning before you get out of bed and so you do that that way and you get this really specific, like two decimal points of a temperature and you put it into the app and when it spikes, you're supposed to have sex and you'll have a baby. Now, if you're trying not to have a baby, sperm can live in your body for five days. So guess what? You're not going to be able to do it accurately. It's going to be really hard. But this app does show this faded out, like, "These are the times when you can get pregnant," and it's five days before your ovulation. So anyway, for anybody listening who needs help getting pregnant or not, that could be a way to go. And you're just super fertile, so watch out.
Shayla Christine:
Yeah, I know. Well, and that I was doing the basal body too.
Andrea Olson:
What?
Shayla Christine:
And then there's like cervical-
Andrea Olson:
Fluid and ferning, and then there's a little ... What's it called ... It's not a ferniscope. It's called a Ovulens.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah, you look through it, you put your fluid on it-
Shayla Christine:
What?
Andrea Olson:
... and you look out window and you can see ... If it makes a fern design that means you are ovulating.
Shayla Christine:
What?
Andrea Olson:
For real.
Shayla Christine:
I've never heard of that.
Andrea Olson:
Yeah. But again, it's not five days.
Shayla Christine:
Right, I know, that's the thing. Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
That's the problem. Yeah. Anyway, well, I can't wait to follow your story and everybody else.
Shayla Christine:
Good transition
Andrea Olson:
I know, right. On that note, I can't wait to see what happens and I'm going to be on Shayla's podcast soon as well.
Shayla Christine:
Yes.
Andrea Olson:
So we'll be talking all about EC from me.
Shayla Christine:
Yes.
Andrea Olson:
She's going to interview me. So, I can't wait til you do that and we're going to have fun.
Shayla Christine:
I'm so excited.
Andrea Olson:
I don't know. You know, in the time you hear this, I don't know when it's going to happen, but I will put that in the show notes. I'll put links to all of Shayla's stuff in the show notes as well. And, you guys can also get my free easy start guide, which is a little gateway in if you're curious. And then my book is what Shayla got when she became serious. So curious, easy start guide, serious, book. That's the next step. And then, Tiny Undies has like everything, as you can vouch for-
Shayla Christine:
Yeah.
Andrea Olson:
... that you could possibly need for pottying your baby. So, check us all out there. Shayla, thank you so much for being on the show.
Shayla Christine:
Thank you.
Andrea Olson:
Again, you can check out the show notes, including the full written transcript of today's interview, which was awesome, wasn't it? It was amazing, and you can go to godiaperfree.com/173 to find that. Please come over, say hello, leave a comment, tell me what the biggest takeaway is that you had from today's interview, and I'll see you over there.
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About Andrea Olson
I'm Andrea and I spend most of my time with my 6 children (all under 10 yo) and the rest of my time teaching other new parents how to do Elimination Communication with their 0-18 month babies. I love what I do and try to make a difference in one baby or parent's life every single day. (And I love, love, love, mango gelato.)
My sister told me about EC when she had her daughter; she attempted EC only in the morning to catch poos. Her baby did potty train right at 2 yo. My EBF baby is 9.5 weeks, and we started EC at week 3. I catch her poop 95% of the time now.
It’s amazing how she started showing specific facial signals to poop at about week 7 or 8. By week 5, we were catching about 75% — I was relying on a combination of my intuition and the clock (considering the time after she fed/slept). My baby knew to push and poo every 2 hours by the time she was week 7; as long as she was over a restroom sink. Her peeing signs are still developing, so I barely catch her pee. When I do, it’s by chance when she is going poo. We cloth diaper during the day, so it’s great not to wash poo diapers 95% of the time. She’s at the point now where she will “shart” (lol), but will not fully go until the next potty-tunity, unless ofc if I am not paying attention long enough she will go in the diaper, then I’ll quickly put her on the potty and she finishes :) She doesn’t go poo often at night, but definitely woke me up to catch her poo a few times!
Around week 6 we had a hard time holding her up in the sink; she was getting too heavy to hold for more than 10 mins. I obviously only hold her that long when I know she has to go and waiting for it. So we bought a baby potty toilet to set up a “EC station” in the bedroom with a large mirror close enough for her to see her own reflection (imitating the bathroom EC experience); she had become used to seeing her reflection as she went over the sink, so otherwise she would hold her poo and cry until she can see herself and got into the “position” lol. It’s been nice not having to walk over to the bathroom in our large master bedroom. She did have a hard time going poo in her potty elsewhere besides home (seemed like she likes the privacy and already become accustomed to know what’s comfortable). When she’s “all done” she relaxes her shoulders and smiles at me through the mirror. I’m starting to position the toilet without the mirror, so that she can begin to get comfortable going without the reflection of herself. She’s slowly been responsive to this but still loves the mirror in front of her. It’s wonderful knowing I’m meeting all her needs to my best ability, and in effect, all her fussiness are all justified.
I actually did a bunch of learning and research and saw Shayla’s videos about EC in the process while I was pregnant! So thankful to God to be educated about EC and to practice something that is innate and natural for and with my baby! Thanks to my sister and Andrea! <3
Amazing!! You are doing a great job connecting to your little one and listening to her needs.
My sister introduced me to EC; she practiced EC in the morning to catch her poo when she was about a year old. Her daughter was out of diapers by 2 yo.
My EBF baby is 9.5 weeks, and we started EC at week 3. I catch her poop 95% of the time. It’s amazing how she started showing specific facial signals to poop at about week 7 or 8. By week 5, we were catching about 75% — I was relying on a combination of my intuition and the clock (duration after she fed/slept). Her peeing signs are still developing, so I barely catch her pee. We cloth diaper during the day, so it’s great not to wash poo diapers 95% of the time. She’s at the point where she will “shart” in her diaper and go at the next diaper change! Unless ofc I don’t pay attention long enough, then she will go in her diaper (I then quickly take her to the potty and she will finish!) She doesn’t go poo often at night, but definitely woke me up to catch her poo a few times!
Around week 6 we had a hard time holding her up in the sink; she was getting too heavy to hold for more than 10 mins. I would only hold her that long when I know she has to go, based on time and her gestures. So we bought a baby potty toilet to set up a “EC station” in the bedroom with a large mirror close enough for her to see her own reflection (imitating the bathroom EC experience); she had become used to seeing her reflection as she went over the sink, so otherwise she would hold her poo and cry until she can see herself and got into the “position” lol. It’s been nice not having to walk over to the bathroom in our large master bedroom. The baby potty is a game changer! She first had a hard time going poo in her potty elsewhere besides home (seems like she likes the privacy and already become accustomed to know what’s comfortable). I’m starting to position the toilet without the mirror, so that she can begin to get comfortable going without the reflection of herself. She been doing great, and slowly becoming more and more responsive When she’s “all done” she relaxes her shoulders and smiles at me through the mirror.. It’s wonderful knowing that I’m meeting all her needs to my best ability, and in effect, all her fussiness are all justified.
I did quite a bit of learning and researching while I was pregnant and came across Shayla’s video! So thankful to God to be educated about something that is innate and natural (and not crazy) for and with my baby! Thank you to my sister and Andrea!
During the ‘bumps in the road’ like where they go on strike don’t stop. I noticed my baby would only strike with toilet but not sink or bush outside or we would start using a jar or bowl and he would quit having strikes.. he just wanted to go outside usually instead!
Excellent reminder to remain flexible!