The Unexpected Benefits of Early Potty Training
This is a guest post from Go Diaper Free Certified Coach Tracy Gillett, who blogs at Raised Good and teaches parents EC (and many other things) in the Vancouver area of British Columbia, Canada. Thanks for the great article, Tracy! xx Andrea
This post was originally posted on March 8, 2016, and has been fully updated on September 21, 2021 to include an audio (Podcast) version, a video (YouTube) version, and to include some basic updates. Enjoy! xx Andrea
Listen to the Podcast
Watch the Video Version
If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version:
I discovered attachment parenting when I was pregnant. Techniques like co-sleeping, breastfeeding and babywearing promised an obvious way to form a stronger bond with my baby.
And then I read about Elimination Communication (EC). It blew my mind. I remember my husband’s raised eyebrows when I told him about it. Was this a step too far? Could a helpless little baby seriously pee in a potty?
But it made sense. And it felt natural. After all we’re the only species in the animal kingdom using diapers. It didn’t take much to convince us. We were intrigued and had to try it.
So, I learned about cues, natural timing and parent’s intuition. I ordered cloth diapers and a baby potty. I had everything I needed to practice EC with my baby.
But something I read didn't make sense. The suggestion was that the most important element of EC isn't actually potty training but, communication.
What were they talking about?, I wondered.
In our fast paced, have-everything-now world, isn’t the purpose of EC to reach potty independence quickly? To reach the finish line, avoid misses, and get out of diapers as soon as humanly possible?
That’s what I assumed. But I was wrong.
It’s The Journey, Not the Destination
When our little man was only two weeks old we started EC. I planned to wait longer but he instigated it. Our baby was actively communicating. Grimacing. Grunting. And preferring to pee in an open diaper. I couldn’t ignore it given I knew he was asking for my help.
And so our journey began.
We’ve had our fair share of misses along the way - babies do pee a lot. And in the early days I sometimes felt like a failure when we had a few consecutive misses. But as time went on I began to appreciate what EC is really about.
Like all attachment parenting approaches, EC is about strengthening and deepening our connection with our children. It’s about letting them know they’re understood. That we’re listening. And their needs matter. It’s another way we can show our unconditional love. The books were right; the most important component of EC is communication.
We’re In No Hurry
I thought I’d like to be able to brag my son was diaper free at 12 months. Or that he’d take himself to the potty by the time he was 2 years old. But like all plans, life has other, better ideas.
Taking the slow and scenic route has been far more rewarding than a quick three-day-get-it-over-with potty training mission. Our son is reaching milestones with his potty habits at his own pace. Using public toilets is the last hurdle we need to tackle and I have faith we'll get there when he's ready.
EC has taken something we were dreading (years of poopy diapers) and transformed it into a unexpected opportunity to bond with our son. All three of us have loved every minute of it.
And while it sounds like an odd thing to say, I have no doubt our baby peeing and pooping in a tiny potty has brought us closer as a family.
This experience will have long-lasting positive effects on my son's attitude towards elimination and on his general health. He takes his sweet time on the potty, reading books and playing with his dinosaurs. It's not a quick on and off process in our bathroom. He enjoys it, often proudly announcing his poops. There's no embarrassment or stigma attached to it.
I'm grateful for what EC has given our family. I'd encourage all parents to try EC whatever age or stage your baby is at. It can seem a little strange at first, but that's only because our perspectives have been heavily skewed by our diapering culture.
Just like breastfeeding isn't only about nutrition and babywearing isn't only about transport, so, too, EC isn't only about elimination.
By showing your baby all communication is valid and acknowledged, you'll strengthen your connection with your child...which is the greatest gift you can give your family.
I look forward to reading your thoughts about your EC goals in the comments below...thank you!
Thanks so much to Tracy for this awesome guest post! Please follow Tracy’s amazing Instagram profile @raisedgood and prepare to be inspired.
xx Andrea
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Thanks so much for posting my piece Andrea. EC is such a wonderful gift for babies and parents. Thank you for being such an amazing ambassador for growing our connections with our little ones.
This is great! Thanks for posting this Tracy. It’s so true that it’s about the journey. Our daughter learned the day she was born that we would pay attention to her needs, including elimination. And she’s now two and as happy as can be! I encourage everyone I know to consider EC. I love the connection it encourages.
Thanks Karen and my pleasure. Thrilled you enjoyed it and great to hear you have a happy little two year old too – aren’t they the best?! :)
Thank you! I couldn’t have said it better myself. You seemed to have taken the words out of my head. My little one is only 11 months but I am feeling very similar in our journey as you.
Thank you for your kind words Brenna and so happy to hear the post resonated with you. 11 months is so much fun…will be walking soon hey! :)
Hi, I’m happy to have found your blog. I’ve been pottying my now 7 month old son since he was a week old (5weeks preemie). I live in Vancouver and was hoping you might be able to point me in the direction of a meet up group. I’ve been unsuccessful so far at finding one. I’d love to get to know some parents with like minded attachment parenting styles. Thanks for a good read.
Thanks for this reminder that the most important part of EC is communication. I too thought my son would be out of diapers sooner than he was, but I’m so glad we did EC and were able to tune into his needs.
Thanks for this post! I agree, it just feels natural. I love the reminder that EC is not about the end goal, but about the journey along the way. Sometimes I focus too much on misses instead of focusing on the benefits of the practice. We’ve been doing EC with our two month old since she’s been one week old. My husband and I both really enjoy the bond and attachment EC promotes. My husband takes a strong initiative with EC and I love that it provides a way to promote attachment between them since I can breastfeed her and have that time. We are so grateful to have discovered EC! :)
I’m now doing EC with my second baby and I have to say that one of my favorite things during the day is talking to him and smiling at each other in the mirror at the sink. So obviously, pee or poop going in the sink isn’t the only benefit. I’ve been told by other moms in my life, which I’m the only one that does EC, that I’m the most tuned in mom they know. That’s no coincidence.