EPISODE 13: The 5 Biggest Potty Training Mistakes
Nicole:
Did you know that elimination communication has an expiration date? If your kiddo is 18 months or older and you're still doing EC, you have to listen to this episode.
Announcer:
Welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth.
Nicole:
Welcome back. Thank you so much for joining us again today here on the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Nicole Cheever, and this is episode 13, The Five Biggest Potty Training Mistakes. When you're done listening, head to godiaperfree.com/13 for the show notes, including links to everything mentioned in today's episode. If you're listening on your favorite podcast player, please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes, and we'd love for you to leave us a review. We're usually covering all things EC on the podcast, but today we're talking about good old-fashioned potty training, and I do mean the kind your grandma and great grandma did. No stickers, no timers, no pressure.
About a decade ago, Andrea realized two things. First, that many of the people she was reaching with Go Diaper Free were past the point when EC is effective, which is zero to 18 months of age. EC was never going to work for these families. The second thing she realized is that many families who practice EC come up against challenges in the wrapping up phase, which usually begins around the time the child masters walking, and sometime before 16 to 18 months old. When that happens and these families go past this point of 18 months, they end up running into challenges and tons of resistance. This is a critical developmental stage when your child is hungry for mastery and autonomy and pure EC doesn't provide them that, ergo: pushback. Trying to force EC to keep working when it just isn't going to is no good. These families needed a little extra support to finally be done with diapers forever. The Go Diaper Free community wanted help from someone they already trusted. After being asked for years to write a potty training book, she finally did. What we're bringing to you on the podcast today is a video Andrea recorded when she released her book, The Tiny Potty Training Book, about the five biggest potty training mistakes and what to do instead. So without further ado, here's Andrea.
Andrea:
Hi, my name is Andrea Olson with godiaperfree.com and my book, The Tiny Potty Training Book. Today, I want to tell you what the five top mistakes are that parents make regarding potty training. The first mistake is returning to diapers. So a lot of parents will complete the potty training experience, what I call it, and they will go forth into the world and something will happen. They'll have a bunch of accidents one day and they won't look into actually how to troubleshoot. Instead, they'll put the child back into diapers and say, well, hey, they just weren't ready yet. But waiting for readiness is a whole nother thing that I covered before, and it really isn't a factor for potty training. But what is a factor is a parent's steadfastness. So one of the things I highly advise is to be steadfast, to start as you mean to go on, to never go back to diapers because that is the way our grandparents trained. They never went back to diapers, and it was a done deal. When our kids know that we're serious and we don't go back to diapers, they're done. So that is one of the things that parents usually make a mistake about in potty training.
Number two is putting it off. Delaying the start of potty training just delays the end of potty training and usually causes it to be a lot more difficult in the end. Mostly parents don't find out about how to potty-train or think about that they should until their child's about two years old, and at that time, they want to do research or they lack the confidence or the instruction. They don't know exactly what to do or what to expect even. They expect that the child should just train themselves because it's time and they're a big kid and they should want to do what you want them to do. But unfortunately, two and three year olds don't work that way. So putting off starting potty training is the number two mistake that parents make regarding potty training.
Number three, the third-biggest mistake that parents make with potty training is they think that they have to potty-train completely naked, just letting the child run around naked, putting the potty out, and telling them verbally to go on it when they can. And then who knows what we do when there is an accident on the floor or something happens. But usually they think, oh, my child's not ready, because they're actually not just going to the potty while they're naked and putting their pee in it, and we expect them to do that without any instruction. So having the child just naked for potty training is the third mistake that parents make.
The fourth mistake that parents make when potty training is bribery. Going to the bathroom itself is a natural experience and it's a very private one. It is one that should not be rewarded. Yes, we can praise our children and be excited with them and say, oh, boy, great. You did it. You went in the potty, and that is great praise and that way is wonderful. But rewards like sticker charts and M&Ms and candy or big giant toys, I would say for about 1% of children, that is going to be something that you might need to try if everything else in the world doesn't work and bribery happens to really be the ticket with your child. But generally with 99% of children, what we found is that bribery actually makes them externally motivated with potty training. But potty training and going to the bathroom is such a private process that it really is best and most effectively administered or executed by an internal motivating factor. So bribery has no place if you're trying to teach your child to be internally motivated about something.
And number five, the fifth top mistake that parents make regarding potty training is winging it. So we have a vast amount of resources across the internet now at our disposal, and we tend to use them. And when we are interested in something, we get every single resource that we can find about that one thing, and we overload our brains with it, and that actually undermines our confidence. So with potty training, winging it off of free information found on this website or that website or what mothering.com said, or BabyCenter or what you found on Facebook or from all of your friends when you posted, "Hey, I'm going to potty-train." Anybody got ideas? All of this stuff equals winging it. Without a method and a plan and knowing exactly what you're doing, it is very, very likely that potty training will be a disaster and won't work. It's just the way that it is.
So these have been the top five mistakes that parents make while potty training. I hope that you've learned something today and that you can avoid these mistakes if possible. If you've already made some of these mistakes, don't worry. There are lots of resources that I can provide to you that will help you get past this, especially The Tiny Potty Training Book that I wrote for babies or toddlers 18 months and over. So thanks so much. I'm Andrea with Go Diaper Free.
Nicole:
There you have it, folks. If you've already made some or all of these mistakes, not to worry, The Tiny Potty Training Book can get you back on track. It's also great if your kiddo is 16 to 18 months old and you've never done EC and are wanting to be ready for potty training. And if you've done EC and your child is already 18 months or older, there is absolutely no shame in wrapping up EC with a potty training experience. It can be a great, efficient, effective way to be done with diapers for good. Now, we'd love for you to head over to godiaperfree.com/13 and let us know on the blog, have you made any of these common potty training mistakes. Again, this is a no shame zone. Next week we're finishing up our series answering the oh so common question, when does my baby need to pee with part four, parents' intuition. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free. We'll see you next time.
Announcer:
Thanks for listening to the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com.
